I’ve started really taking care of my face and hair. It’s taken 27 years, and you know what – I’m proud.

Almond oil, coconut oil, castor oil… All the oils. I’m basically slicker than an oil spill.

These past couple of months, my face and hair genuinely don’t know what’s going on. They think they’ve been treated to the best care in the world. 26 years of existing and then… LIVING for less than one?

Don’t forget to get your Comic Relief Red Nose Day nose before March 15 2019, from Oxfam, Sainsbury’s or Argos. Who nose which one you might get. I’m still trying my luck at finding the rarest of all, Transforminos.

Apparently, I’ve got a one in 8,000+ chance of finding Transforminos. As Nicki Minaj puts it: I ain’t lucky, I’m blessed, yes.