Skincare

As I mentioned briefly before, my love for the botanicals is actually becoming out of control… I don’t know if I’ll wake up tomorrow and find branches where my bones used to be, but for now – know that I smell like tea tree, a bit a lot.

Right, back to Australin BodyCare, not that we were on the subject to start with but, hey, ho! Hi, ho! On with this blog post I go *whistles to the Seven Dwarves*. 🎶

Legit, currently and before currently, I always (never) asked myself if there was some sort of malfunction at my birth… When I consider and ponder this, you’ll all be the firsts to know.

I smell like tea tree. That’s all I really wanted to say… Tea Tree smells somewhat potent. Therefore, I don’t exactly know why I’m writing a whole blog post about it… I mean, it’s nothing to write home (or shout from the rooftops about). In essence, I smell like PG Tips before they became loose leaf tea bags… That’s it.

I bought the body lotion, shower gel and scrub. I’m going to be real with you, it doesn’t help when you smell like other people’s sweat. I don’t know what you heard, but it’s almost impossible to travel on TfL without leaving the tube with every single person who shared that carriage with’s sweat and germs…

It’s like a little disgusting gift that TfL give you for topping up your Oyster and using their sometimes always delayed and/or on-strike service. (Especially if you lead the life I do and have people coughing and/or sneezing in your face at every opportunity they get.)

Join me here tomorrow- same time, same place, where I’ll divulge into the contents of the times I caught TfL flu aplenty.

Again, let’s cast our minds back to what we were discussing before I went on the germ-infested tangent that is TfL… You might need to use more than one body wash, because if you use it on its own, you’ll smell like a BO’d tree. No matter how much I love trees, that – right there is the point where I declare myself “out” – like they do on Dragon’s Den.

Australian BodyCare’s packaging is pretty bog standard. Pretty and bog standard. I love the colour blue, so there you go… It’s blue. It looks like something you’d find in a bathroom… What next?!

Did I like using Australian BodyCare? It’s not the most incredible product I’ve ever applied on my skin but it’s okay… It does the job. I’m just here for smelling like a hot liquified Kew Gardens.

Thanks you, SPICEBEAN! You’re also every damn thing!

Xxx

P.S. I bought seeds to be planted in my garden because I love botanicals so much… Check back here in Spring (or before) to read all about it.

Aqua waka, hey, hey! Tsamina mina mina eh eh… 🎶 If I was a composer of musical pieces, I’d be BACH. What’s GOOD?!

I mean, let’s face it – you’re not here for a review, are you? No, because no one is here. This post’ll probably get a whopping 0 views. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll just talk to myself ’cause I don’t get that sweet talkback… If you know what I mean (socket to ’em)!

Let’s begin the review of Lush Aqua Marina. I’ve probably already reviewed this, there’s no shortage of Lush product posts on here, so…

Aqua Marina is what would happen if your facial/bodily skin smoked seaweed phantomly “because it got high, ’cause it got high, ’cause it got HIIIIIIIGH! 🎶” – the added bonus is that pink clay/Play Doh consistency formula. Yes, it looks like pâté – but it actually isn’t pâté… It’s terrine. Don’t try it.

I washed my face with Aqua Marina and my face legit looked like I came out of an in actual fact radiant skin inducing whirlpool.

A mineral rich-seaweed and calamine face and body cleanser to absorb excess oils and leave you with a clear complexion. We use kaolin and calamine to absorb oil and cleanse the skin, and aloe vera to restore moisture. Irish Moss gel (a type of seaweed) is full of restorative minerals and vitamins, and we’ve even included a sprinkling of sea salt for very gentle exfoliation.

My rating: it’s guten – not gluten. It’s the Beard of Life.

Here is my favourite award-winning peel-off mask of all time looking all nonchalant (and shizz) in its packaging…

This skin rejuvenating formula loosens blackheads and cleanses deep into the
pores to remove impurities while clarifying and purifying the skin and rebalancing oily areas.

Benefits

  • Detoxifying, targets blackheads and acne
  • Rebalances oily zones and clears impurities
  • Exfoliates dead skin cells, increases hydration
  • Repairs skin damage and brightens complexion
  • Boosting skin firmness
  • Improving skin clarity, tone and elasticity
  • Ready to use, 20 minute treatment
  • No animal ingredients or testing
  • Free of Mineral Oils, Lanolin, Petroleum and Parabens

As much as I’d love to type: “I cannot actually tell you how good it is”, I’m going to have to dig deep because this post ain’t going to write itself…

It’s amazing. Like, for real amazing. This is the first charcoal mask that cools my skin and detoxifies whilst tightening and rejuvenating it. It’s lovely.

I have to admit that I didn’t keep it on for 20 minutes though (as advised)… I washed it off just after 10 mins, but luckily still saw great results.

My skin’s so squeaky clean, bright, more supple and soft. My face feels like a baby’s bottom and a medium rare steak. #RaisingTheStakesSince1991 #Booyakasha #WhatTheHeckAmIOnAbout? #IDontEvenKnow… #GoodLuckFiguringItOut! 😆

The only things I didn’t like about this mask are that it’s messy and pretty hard to open. It comes in a little sachet and when you rip it open, the gel is so sticky and thick that you need to put your hand in to get it out…

Once it’s out, you’ve got to spread it across your face and neck and leave it like you usually would. It’s probably better to use a brush..? More hygienic.

The biggest surprise for me was that it wasn’t hard to wash off and that it didn’t stain my sink. (That’s my only issue with activated charcoal masks. Most of the ones I’ve tried before stick to the surface, this one did not.)

In a black diamond, activated charcoal peel-off masked nutshell, I think this product is great.

Get it on and around your facial crevices. Leave it on for 20 mins. Peel off. Look like a baby. I dare you.

Oh, and, uh… This costs a mere £4.99 which beats getting a facial done in the beauty salon for £37!

I mean, what the HECKory dickory dock?! Man(sour) didn’t go up the clock ’cause I don’t have that stupidity gene which justifies wanting to spend £37 on a facial when I could give myself one for free at home…

Let’s en-visage it… My blog wouldn’t be ‘my blog’ if I didn’t review some Nip + Fab every few months, would it? No, exactly!

Anyone want to know what I’m doing right now? I’m writing this post as I watch Love Island. #TeamCamilla #TeamMontana (and that’s not just because they’re the only single girls). I honestly love them. They deserve good, passionate love.

Back to Nip + Fab’s Viper Venom Fix Blurring Shot, I love it! It’s my new favourite beauty product. I cannot be without it… Together with facial yoga, this makes sure I look like a newborn baby. #Obsessed

This highly potent blurring gel expertly hides pores and smooths out lines, creating the appearance of a retouched finish. Just two drops help achieve a flawless skin.

The formula is of a white cream-gel based consistency which glides on the skin but seeps in quickly. Ahem, that, right there, was spoken like a true dermatologist.

Apparently, you’re supposed to mix it with a serum or moisturiser – I have tried doing this – and not doing this – both have worked well. The feeling after application is refreshing. It’s also very cooling and firming. There is no burning or intense tightening sensations which you might expect from a product like this. It’s just nice.

The packaging is of standard Nip + Fab quality. I specifically love the khaki green on black colour scheme. #WINNING

The only thing I’m not a fan of is the dropper… I don’t know why but I reckon it actually hates me. I have found that there is no middle ground with it. It either drops the WHOLE entire solution in just one squeeze or a mere third of one pump. Wagwan with that?! Nip + Fab, sort it! (please and thanks). ❤️

Other than the pump, the packaging gets an: ‘ace of hearts like a pack of cards’ rating. Poetic genius isn’t me. I would love someone to write me a poem, though… Poems are so sweet, aren’t they? I mean, it doesn’t need to be Shakespearial, just a stanza or a rhyming phrase would do… 😌

While I ponder how this post has gone from Nip + Fab, to Love Island, back to Nip + Fab, and now poems/Shakespeare… (Oh, I can’t even with myself.) Read on… (If you want to, ’cause I don’t want to tell you what to do.)

A question that might be on your mind: “Do I know if real snakes were used to make it?” No, but I’m assuming probably not. I hope not, anyway.

To be fair, it doesn’t smell like snakes (?)  not that I’d have a Jimmy Riddle of clue about what a snake actually smells like… Who do you think I am, Steve Irwin’s ancestor 78 times removed?! #Restraint

In all seriousness, the results are stratospheric (check me out, using BIG words now! Mum, look what you raised! 😘)…

I don’t know if it’s a psychological thing (wanting it to do the trick), or if facial yoga has started paying off, but my nasalobial creases have started to diminish! Like, for REALS! 😄 *cries my face off with happiness*

As I try to remember what I wanted to write in this post (but fail) or its purpose, feel free to read some other weird posts courtesy of yours truly (which coincidentally is also my own truly). I never did understand why it’s referred to as “yours truly”. Who’s ‘truly” and why is anyone theirs? Weird, huh? One of life’s most unanswered questions…

Legit, I don’t actually know what’s going on with this post… Is it a revelation? A journey into my somewhat strange mind? Or is it just informative, entertaining and #bblogger-ish? Who knows…

So, I’ll just leave it here… It’s called ‘Blurring Shot’ for a reason. Think: Robin Thick. Think: #BlurredLines. Them lines so blurred that you’d think your own reflection is a hallucination. Yeah. You’re welcome! Night.

Forever yours (or my own),

Miamii

God’s blessings to you, and you, and you!

Xo

Cup o Coffee

Hello!

Today has been one of those days where I literally couldn’t wait to blog… So, here I am, staying true to my word and blogging!

Let’s have a minute’s LOUDNESS to remember the wonderfulness of LUSH’s Cup O’ Coffee… Yeah, this post is a bit late, but, then again, so’s someone’s period somewhere… Congratulations! 🍼👶 #BabyBoom

Anyway, moving Tay Tay Swift-ly on, below is my honest review of Cup O’ Coffee.

Just around the corner there’s a rainbow in the sky. So let’s have another cup o’ coffee and let’s have another piece o’ pie! If you’re a sucker for the strong, dark, stimulating type, take a shot of this coffee infusion filled mask to the face. Wake up and invigorate the skin with the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Roasted cocoa extract, vetivert and coriander oil combine to create an addictive fragrance. Smooth over face and body, leave for 10-15 minutes and rinse with warm water for your daily fix.

Do you love coffee? If not, umm, you’re currently in the wrong place…

Before we get cracking (like an egg on a pavement), and in keeping with the theme, here’s something I don’t understand: Cappuccino flavoured crisps. Something I might be able to understand, though, is Cup O’ Coffee! It’s apparently a mask (not one of LUSH’s refrigerated fresh ones). However, I’ve been using it as a scrub.

The coffee granules are very, very softening, smoothening and thankfully, un-pore-blockable. I’m only mentioning this because Dark Angels did that, which is why I resorted to using it as makeshift toothpaste. Having said that, if you, like me, love using Dark Angels on your skin but are finding that the black sugar/charcoal granules are getting stuck in your pores, washing with lukewarm-mildly hot water melts them away. #TopTip

What does the formula look like? Uh, it depends whether you’ll request to take me on Jeremy Kyle for a lie-detector afterwards…

If an appearance on Jezza is beneath you, it looks LOVELY! Extremely good. If, on the other hand, you’d love a trip to Media City to meet the man himself, Graeme & Security Steve, I have no option but to be honest and say: it looks like a gloopy crushed coffee bean poopy!

What does it smell like? Pandas (after they’ve eaten the finest of bamboo)… 🤣 Coffee, of course!

Look, it doesn’t take much to please me… Upon first application, I fell in love with its smell, before realising that it’s just coffee and that I should be getting out more (taking my nose with me as I leave).

‘No manure Sherlock’ when I tell you that coffee smells like coffee and that it’s by no means anywhere as good as what bae’s aftershave/cologne would smell like.

What does it feel like? As though crushed coffee beans are being lathered upon every crevice of your facial exterior… It’s scrubby and lovely on the skin, during and post-wash.

One thing to mention: it tastes slightly weird though, not that I actively went out to taste it… It’s just, it was smeared on my face, ended up on my lips and my tongue touched the formula (purposefully by accident). Basically, if I had to describe it, I’d say it tastes like coffee mixed in with something else. A weird ‘something else’.

How to use it: wash your face, apply a generous layer of the product on it then scrub/leave on skin for 10/15 mins, before rinsing it off.

Be aware that you’ll look like you’ve smeared undigested coffee poop on your face or regurgitated tiramisu, either or… Both as attractive as each other (if that’s your sort of thing).

Final say: YES. If LUSH was proposing to me through this product, I’d be giving them a resounding YE!  I literally can’t believe that I didn’t discover this earlier…

Ingredients: probably a CUP O’ COFFEE, but don’t quote me on it.