Nutrition

OMG!

At 03:23GMT, I am coming to you not LIVE from my bedroom as I discuss my new ovary face roller.

  • WHILE OTHER FACE MASSAGERS are squeaky, brake easily and require electricity, SENSSE provides a solution in the form of a smooth-rolling face massager that will last a lifetime. The result? MASSAGES YOU’LL LOVE, and a YOUNGER LOOKING YOU.
  • SAY GOODBYE TO LINES and hello to smoother, fuller skin. Implement this facial toner into your morning routine and watch as those lines fade away. The SENSSE tool massages and relaxes your muscles, supports natural blood circulation, and enhances elasticity of saggy skin – leaving you with remarkable results you’ll want to show the world.
  • JUST 5 MINUTES A DAY is all it takes to experience the sensational benefits. No more messing around with expensive creams and time-consuming electric gimmicks. Only taking a few minutes to work its magic, the SENSSE face massager saves you time and ensures your face is looking its best for the day ahead.
  • ACHIEVE A HEALTHY GLOW by rolling with our derma roller and improving your blood circulation. It would be amazing to take your skin back to its younger days, right?! Time machines don’t exist yet – but the SENSSE 3D face roller does – thousands are turning to this face massage tool to revitalize their skin and knock years off their appearance.
  • OUR PROMISE TO YOU – At SENSSE we believe in providing a first-class customer experience. We offer a 60-DAY MONEY BACK GUARANTEE and 2-year manufacture warranty.

I know what you’re not thinking: “oh, wow! That Miamii sure knows how to live… Blogging about a metal OVARY at 03:20something in the morning on a Saturday!”

Well, you know, if I cared about what blogging others thought – long story short is: my soul would’ve left my own body 25 and a half years ago… I catch myself thinking ‘WTF?!” at my own self-inflicted idiocy regularly, it’s nothing new… It just happens less often now. Yes, this blog post isn’t a great example of how not to live but we’re all allowed to have ‘WTF?!’ moments outside of RL, this blog post being written is one of them.

Back to the metal ovary… It’s no secret that blood circulation misses my face most days… I walk around with an inflated beach ball covered in skin – which I call a face. I used to blame it on water retention, but there comes a time where you just got to accept that there isn’t an excuse for that. Of course, it isn’t that bad, I’m highly exaggerating, but you know… Inflation of the facial region.

At this stage, I’m not sure if I want to go back to discussing the metal ovary or just talk about my flaws a little more… Alright, back to the ovary.

It’s not an actual ovary. Sorry to disappoint you… It can’t have an out-of-body PMS, during MS and/or post MS experience outside of your own body, so, apologies… It’s just a face roller and my best buy.

I love it so much even though I’ve had it less than 24 hours. It’s literally like a gym for the face; except there isn’t a gym for the face. Hahahaha. I’m really selling this. FML!

You know what it feels like? The roller for coats/jackets or the pin that we roll out dough with. In hindsight, it probably would’ve been more convenient to use those two but, my face doesn’t want to catch a self-raising flour, milk & yeast infection nor does it want to have fabric where skin used to be…

I bought this one from Amazon (the roller not a fabric skinned yeast facial infection). It’s by Senssé and it’s Sensétional. I love it. It’s literally incredible. There’s nothing like it. Probably FACT because who even thinks to develop a FACE ROLLER?! What must be going on in your life for you to decide to cut metal into an ovary and sell it on Amazon? I’m so glad whatever it is happened, because: YES!

I used it once and noticed a difference instantly. It was like a placebo ‘new face, who dis?!’ effect. We’ve all been there.

So, there we go… It defines the cheekbones, smoothens lines and jowls whilst also defining the jawline. Perfection.

I mean, 99.999999999999999999 – 100% of the population don’t need this, but I do so… Don’t buy it. But, allow me to buy it so I can tell you about it and waste a few hours of your life.

Did I mention that it’s a metal ovary? Only the finest of Rose Gold placentas (which this isn’t) for moi… What am I on about? I don’t even know!

I also know it looks like a pee-pee. I was told this by a friend and I did get slightly mortified. However, not enough to still post about it, clearly. “It’s like a pee-pee fidget spinner for the face!”, she said. I don’t know what to say… I prefer ovaries just because I’ve got set of those and can relate to them on an emotional level.

How do I like my eggs?

Poached.

Hahaha!

 

Tres Leches

Aloha! Welcome to another Bake with ‘Mii!

I’ve got the recipe for a DELECHES cake that’s made up of TRES milks! You wanna read it? Keep scrolling and them eyes rolling. There’s not much to say other than to CHOW DOWN!

Ingredients:

  • 3 cups of sifted self raising or all-Purpose flour (Power)
  • 2 level tspns baking powder + 1 heaped tspn baking soda
  • Pinch of Salt (Angelina Jolie is optional)
  • 1/2 zest of a lemon (there’s no option, Beyoncé NEEDS to be added)
  • 3 tbspns Flora butter
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • 3 eggs
  • 1 cup of milk
  • 400g of evaporated milk
  • 400g of condensed milk
  • cup of milk or 400g of single cream
  • Whipped cream to top
  • Cocoa powder (Coco Chanel No5, like the powder is optional)
  • Coconut desiccated/toasted shavings

Method:

  1. Mix dry ingredients together and leave aside, like a 5 football game.
  2. Inside of a deep bowl, three heaped tablespoons of Flora butter (light butter), add some granulated sugar (one cup), whisk together into a creamy consistency. Then, add three eggs individually (one at a time).
  3. At this point, you should start adding the 1/2 zest of lemon along with one teaspoon of vanilla essence (’cause nobody wants a cake that tastes or smells like omelettes!)
  4. Get your mix on. Gradually mix in the flour with the wet mixture, as soon as you see it start to thicken, you add some milk – do this TRES times.
  5. You can now transfer the mixture into a Pyrex tray (spread lightly with butter and flour). Yay! It’s ready to be baked. Enter the batter into your pre-heated oven at 180 degrees (to bake in the middle shelf) for 30 minutes.
  6. Once it’s done, take it out (obvs!) – a good tip for checking if it’s done: pierce a toothpick and if batter sticks, put it back in for at least another five minutes… However, it should be done by 30 – if you have a good, high powered oven.
  7. Before leaving to cool, pierce the top of the cake with a fork (all over).
  8. As soon as it cools, start mixing the TRES LECHES. Condensed, evaporated and whole milk (or single cream)… Pour over the top before leaving it in the fridge to soak overnight, that way, it’ll soak all in and you can have it for breakfast. 😋

Let’s talk garnish, shall we? Okay. Basically, “garnishing” has nothing to with Jennifer Garner… All it is, is the decoration. It’s just whipped cream and a dusting of cocoa powder (if you’re feeling it). I topped it with toasted coconut shavings instead though, because I love a good close shave. Mind you, a beard ain’t bad. I kinda prefer it? Especially the non-stubbly one.

ENJOY! (the beard and/or the cake).

*the image above is what it looks like prior to entering the fridge overnight*

Crêpe de Suzette

 

The last of my three course meal posts… Yep, it’s time for my Crêpe de Suzette recipe (which is far from crap). Enjoy! For the first time today, the image used is my own (and I ate it, quelle surprise).

Ingredients:

Pancake mix:

2 eggs

1 cup milk

1 1/2 to 2 cups of flour

Pinch of salt

Zest of lemon

1/4 teaspoon of olive or vegetable oil

1 tablespoon brown sugar

Suzette (Lemon & Sugar) Sauce/Syrup:

1 orange

1 clementine

1 lemon

4 tablespoons brown sugar

1 tablespoon Grand Marnier or orange Curaçao liqueur (you can substitute these liqueurs to any syrup that you like)

Zest of an orange (garnish)

Method:

Pancake mix:

Whisk eggs, add pinch of salt, sugar (and vanilla essence optional) together with the lemon zest. Once that’s done, add the milk and gradually mix in flour. Leave in the fridge to cool for 30 minutes to set and coagulate.

In a pancake pan, squirt two to three drops of oil and spread all over using paper towel.

Heat the pancake pan, and once heated  (using the big, deep spoon) transfer the measured pancake mix from the bowl into the pan. This should be done on a medium-high heat. Only flip when bubbles burst and it looks dry. If you flip it too early, it’ll break. After flipping, wait a couple of minutes and then you’ll notice brown spots begin to form on the bottom, that’s the sign that you’re looking for – they’re ready to plate.

Suzette syrup:

Juice the lemon, orange and clementine, adding two tablespoons of brown sugar (mixing thoroughly). In a frying pan, add the rest of brown sugar (2 tablespoons). As they begin to melt, begin pouring in the juices of lemon and clementines. After the flavours start to blend together on a medium heat, begin adding the liquor.

As soon as you start to notice that they’re coming together, turn down the heat (low) and start lining up the wrapped pancakes to soak in the flavours. Spoon some of the sauce from the side to spread across the pancakes and that’s literally it… Turn off your hobs, plate up and dig in!

(You can garnish it with the zest of an orange.)

Mac & Cheese

The next recipe is one of my all time favourite bakes… Chicken & Mushroom Mac & Cheese! It might not be as simple as some of the other recipes on here, but it’s just as delicious! Enjoy.

Ingredients:

  • 250 Pasta (I use Conchiglie, aka: shells)
  • Parmesan, mild Cheddar, Leerdammer, Mozzarella
  • Teaspoon of salt
  • Baby Chicken (cut in four pieces)
  • Chestnut mushrooms
  • Small peeled onion
  • Bay leaf
  • Cinnamon stick
  • Carda-mom’s the word
  • Turmeric powder
  • Cumin powder
  • Cloves
  • Ginger*
  • Garlic clove*
  • Flora butter (light)
  • Flour
  • Milk
  • Nutmeg

* optional

Method:

Pasta:

Begin by boiling the 1 & 1/2 litres of water… Once the water has boiled, add one teaspoon salt and then boil again for 2-3minutes. Add the macaroni for 4-5 minutes (you do this because it’s going to cook it some more in the oven later).

Chicken:

Fry the baby chicken in the pot (before boiling) for a bit, adding the boiling water (amount equivalent to a full kettle).

Stock:

To make the stock: include a small peeled onion (whole), one ‘bae’ leaf, cinnamon stick, cracked cardamom, quarter teaspoon turmeric powder, quarter teaspoon cumin powder and two or three cloves. You could add a peeled garlic clove and/or washed ginger for extra flavour.

Boil the chicken pieces for 20 minutes and then take off heat. Remove the chicken from the stock and transfer into sifter to drain the stock. Cover to protect against drying. Once cooled, use your fingertips to debone the chicken into chunks.

1 cup of sieved stock is to be set aside for the macaroni & cheese’s white sauce, with the rest left to freeze for use in another recipe at a later date.

The turmeric prevents inflammation while the cumin prevents bloating.

White sauce:

The white sauce needs four levelled tablespoons light Flora butter, four tablespoons flour, four cups of milk (semi-skimmed is my choice), grounded fresh nutmeg.

In a saucepan, melt the butter and add flour (on a high heat) to form a doughy mixture. Then, add gradual cups of milk, whisking as you go along (until it thickens).

Remember, once you start adding the milk, you should also be lowering the heat; this prevents the white sauce from burning. You’ll start to feel it thickening, continue to lower heat until the end and leave to simmer.

The tell-tale sign of ‘ready’ is when bubbles start appearing on the top of the mixture… As soon as you see them bubbles, turn off the heat and take off the hob, adding some grated nutmeg for extra flavour.

You’ll notice that I didn’t add salt, this is because the butter of my choice includes it.

Filling the Macaroni & Cheese:

Now, let’s get cheesy – bring the Leerdammer, mild Cheddar, Mozzarella and Parmesan (1-1/2 cups grated) into the mix. If you can’t locate some Leerdammer, you can use some Gruyere.

1/2 cup of the cheese is to be mixed with white sauce. The rest of the cheese is to be left until the end for garnish and/or mixed in with the chicken and mushroom layers.

One onion, sliced finely, fried with a squirt of olive oil, adding chestnut mushrooms (washed, dried, chopped and peeled – there’s dirt and sand in mushrooms, make sure you clean them properly). Once the onion has been shallow fried, push them to the back of the fryer, making room for the mush! Add the medium sliced mushrooms and turn up the heat to stop water from seeping out.

Mix mushroom and onion with spatula adding a dash of salt, ground pepper. Finally (for this part), add the chicken to the mushroom and onions (same seasoning).

Assembly:

Spread the 1-2 tablespoons of white sauce in the dish (to stop it from sticking), then add half the macaroni, half the chicken and mushroom (adding grated cheese *optional), and half the white sauce + half stock water (adding grated cheese *optional) and repeat.

At the end, garnish with white sauce and grated cheese. In order for the cheese not to burn, spread 2-3 tablespoons of milk on top of the cheese and more mushrooms.

Baking:

Coat the macaroni and cheese dish with silver foil, leave some room between the dish and the coating so as not to stick. Use a fork to pierce some holes into the foil.

At this point, your oven should’ve been preheated to 200 degrees. Before you bake the gratin, lower the heat to 180. Cook for 20-25 mins.

After baking for 20-25minutes, reduce heat to 150 and remove tin foil. Cook it some more for another 15-20 minutes until golden brown. Depending on your oven, the cooking time should last between 40-45 minutes (in all). Leave to cool for 20 minutes before serving.

Again, I ate the photo (included) too.

Prawn Cocktail

Today, I’ll be introducing you to my favourite three-course meal recipes. These will be easy to make, delicious to eat and a treat to look at.

This first recipe is a twist on the traditional prawn cocktail. I don’t know, can a prawn cocktail be traditional? I think so…

I came up with this while studying Catering at GCSE, and I’ve been making it ever since. It’s absolutely delicious and puts a fine-dining twist on the average, bog standard prawn cocktail that we’re used to. It’s delicious.

Ingredients for the prawn cocktail:

  • Fresh King Prawns/Shrimps/Langoustines
  • Avocado
  • Mixed leaves (I chose: spinach, watercress and rocket)
  • Caviar* (for garnish)
  • Dill

*optional

Marie Rose/Thousand Islands Dressing:

  • Mayonnaise
  • Ketchup
  • Tabasco*
  • Lemon juice
  • Ground pepper
  • Dash of paprika*

*optional

Method:

De-poop the langoustines… Yes, there’s a thread of absolute sh*t that runs through its back, remove that.

Next, you’ll want to boil some water and lemon zest together with a pinch of salt (adding a ‘bae’ leaf for flavouring). Once boiled, turn off the heat and take the saucepan off it ready to soak the prawns in boiling water for 3 and a half minutes.

FYI: you’re looking for a coral tone on the shrimps (that’s how you know they’re ready for assembling).

Remove the prawns from the boiling water and transfer into a sieve for drainage, before assembling all the ingredients into your favourite serving bowl/glass.

The assembling part is vital obvs, but everyone does it differently… I start by scattering some mixed leaves on the base, adding the avocado, prawn, and sauce with a sprinkle of caviar. Do this as many times (forming layers) at the end, just garnish with some dill.

Finally, add extra langoustines around the glass for decoration. Can’t have too much langoustines. They’re yummy.

This recipe is so delicious that I ate the picture included.