Hair Care

GHD V Gold

Hello,

If you follow (or stalk) my inundated Twitter feed (sorry for tweeting so much – not a fan? Mute me.), you’ll know that I discovered how to curl my approximately 4cm long (grown a WHOPPING two since I tweeted) hair follicles using a GHD!

I’m rubbish at anything to do with hair styling… This sort of explains the ‘homeless head of hair look’ (6 and a half days per week) that I rock so well…

So, anyway – as if by magic I turned on my GHD and the rest is ‘kinky’ (the hair type) history!

I remember the moment I discovered this talent well… There I was with my 7 tonne knee – which swelled up like Roald Dahl’s GIANT peach – elevated, wanting something to do… I turned the straighteners on and went at it with my hair (after applying heat-protection spray, #PutSomethingOnTheTopOfIt as the Vidal Sassoon version of Jezza would say).

To be honest, there’s no ‘hocus pocus’ behind it… It’s just literally wrapping my (what seems like) couple of strands around the hot iron and hoping for the best… Upon release-tion, I was left with somewhat curlier hair.

Look, I forgot to mention that my hair is naturally curly, but it’s ‘slept in’ curls. You know when you sleep oddly and wake up with crinkles? Yeah, that. #SexyAF. Marry me, now. Or not. It’s up to you…

Back to my hair, I loved using the iron to curl my hair with.  It’s so much easier than a ting-tong for me tbh. Why? Probably because I honestly thought I was ‘clinically’ double jointed… No, seriously! What I mean is, like it’d never show up in tests but I also can’t hold anothing without looking weird (my opinion, everyone else’s shabillot)… Jheeze, I’m sounding more attractive by the second, aren’t I?!

I’m still unsure how 26 years (in Autumn) later, I’ve yet to be snapped up by an ALLIGATOR or a CROC! Let’s not tempt fate though, before I end up in a Steve Irwin (God rest his soul) situ…

Lord only knows how this post has gone from hair styling to a discussion about amphibians, but it is what is (and it is what it ain’t).

Peace out,

Curl on,

Miams!

P.S. if you thought I was going to give you a walkthrough of how to curl your hair using a GHD,  alI can say is: soz! I don’t have your hair length… I’ve only been awarded my own. Therefore, I can’t tell you how easy it is going to be for you.

Then again, you most probably already know, right? This might be old news… I’m a late developer (in everything). So, you’ve probably just come here to read me taking the piss out of myself. Which, tbh – I don’t blame you. <3

What hair straightener do I use? GHD V Gold Marine Allure, it’s so ALLURING that bae still doesn’t want to know.

L'Oréal

I’m actually typing this as I power plate… I have absolutely no idea how it’s going to come out, I’m just trialling this as an experiment.

The music – Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shape of You’ – is playing as I’m typing and my whole body’s engaging in convulsions of the electric pulsating variety. Nice.

Yesterday, I posted a photo of my new hair colour (and eyebrow shape) along with my made up facial follicles also known as ‘pores’. Singapores, winners of Dermatoligists Got Talent, 0-2017 (current).

Everything on my hair and face (except my brows and skin) was courtesy of L’Oréal. Yes.

I’m sharing it with you all because I think everybody could benefit…

L’Oréal might be cost effective, and umm – who doesn’t love cost effective?! It also leaves your face looking a quadrillion yens. (Pound’s suffering, and I ain’t giving that Fartface any more airtime). So, I’ll stick with yens…

Let’s take some time out to appreciate the title that I chose for this post… ‘Get The Look: without my DNA’ cos let’s face it (puns, puns everywhere!) if you looked like me… Scrap that, I wouldn’t let you!

Anyway, time to run through the process of going from Lebanese Polar Bear to Lebanese PHWOAR GRAS(ILY) BEAR! Relax, it’s French, isn’t it? 😉

*a step that isn’t really a step because if you don’t do this before applying your makeup, are you okay? Do you need a visit from the Hygiene Standards Agency?*

I washed my face with LUSH’s Let The Good Times Roll, and followed up with a LUSH’s Eau Roma water. Look, got to be patriotic to the French, don’t I? I’m using L’Oréal after all.. Also, LUSH sounds like a French word. Imagine Fred from First Dates saying it? … or someone from Leeds via Versailles. Anyway. Moving on (in the post, not from bae… #flambé).

I then went on to moisturise my layer using This Works’ In Transit Camera Close Up (which a full, detailed review of is coming soon). Long title, the length of its title is as long as the duration of love that I have for it…

Step One:

Prime that baby. Get that facial skin of yours, and put some L’Oréal ‘Infallible Mattifying Base‘ ‘pon it. I really want to swear – but my mum has instructed me not to. I listen to my mum, so FUDGE ME is this a good primer?! Butterscotch. It’s silicon-y and fills fine lines and nasilobial creases perfectly. Trust me, the amount of times I laugh at mine or bae’s jokes, it’s a wonder I don’t look 400 in the face…

Yeah, so – it’s good it’s infallible, inflammable, infantasticable, inflatulancable, infatuationable, influxable, inlovable, inadorable… Ineverythinggoodable.

Step Two:

Foundate that baby! Take that primed complexion of yours, and foundate it using Infallible Total Cover. The thickness of this bad boy… 😍 If it was a sport, it’d be dubbed: “PHWOARKOUR”!

It’s so hot that I need a fire extinguisher. I love it. 100% full coverage. It’ll probably cover every embarrassing memory that’s ever entered your mind.

I love this. It’s so bae that I don’t even know what ‘bae’ means anymore… Joking. How could I forget Bae? Even though he’s probably trying to (or already has) forgotten me.

Step Three:

Apparently, I got this next one’s name wrong… 😭

I thought it was the Nude Magique highlighter but apparently it’s True Match. I’ve got both the highlighter and bronzer in the True Match range.

I have no idea why I was thinking about Nude Magique… I’m a fully clothed naturist sorceress.

So, yes – I got it wrong and now I’ve fixed it. Knowing me, it’ll definitely happen again, but not with anything associated with L’Oréal. Scouts and Girl Guides honour.

So, highlight your triangles below the eyes, chin, bridge of your nose, and Cupid’s bow (without the arrow). Blend using the L’Oréal blender (if you’ve got one) or a brush/fingers of if you’re a filthy FCUKER, a boiled egg.

Step Four:

Take that Con on TOUR, babies! Draw them cheekbones like Picasso… Give your face that chisel, fizzle, drizzle fo’ shizzle!

As I prematurely stated in several paragraphs/sentences before this one… ’cause I type a lot, don’t I?

See, there’s a button which solves all of that… The “x” at the top left of this page. It’s a kiss, apparently! Alternatively, you could kiss me via a sublime (minal) tweet. 😘

At approximately Contour o’clock, apply the Liquid True Match Bronzer.

Step Five:

‘Lips or eyes?’ Lips or eyes..? I’m sure if L’Oréal was around in Shakespeare’s day, that’d be his first and foremost question… Forget his infamous “to be, or not to be?”.

I went with lips, all the better to kiss you with. I applied Colour Riche… It’s ‘badabing badaboom’. I’m sure everyone who had the privilege of seeing me yesterday would agree.

Step Six:

My favourite. Eyes. My most prized possession are my lashes. I’ve actively thought about getting them insured, then realised that I’m not vain nor completely senile. Emphasis on “completely”. 😂

Not speaking of bae (but speaking of him at the same time), his eyes are like melted Twixes. That deep, creamy droplet shade of brown. PENG!

So, yes, eyelashes. Double. Extension. Extend those lashes to DOUBLE the length.

WOW. My lashes went from there to EVERYWHERE.

They were probably enjoying the scenery in Queensland (Australia) while I was chilling at Buckingham Palace, London.

For those who’ve just joined us, or are not native to the UK, I don’t live in Buckingham Palace. Soz. The Queen does though.

Also, not every citizen of the UK is accustomed to that lifestyle of drinking teas with the Queen and taking her Corgis for a bladder or bowel relief on the grounds.

Step ‘MORNING’:

I dyed every one of my hair strands with L’Oréal Casting Creme Gloss. In keeping with the theme of the last paragraph, one could say that I shine brighter than Rihanna’s diamonds and Rudolph’s nose between the 23-26th of December.

There you go. That’s how I went from Miamii Mansour to Miamii Mansweet, like some Chinese takeaway that you’ve yet to eat from a plate.

Thanks for reading, or attempting to. It’s been fun, for me… I’m not sure if you’ve had fun… Maybe tell the moon and the stars to send me a message, informing me of your thoughts?

Glossybox

I wasn’t going to blog about GLOSSYBOX because I wasn’t a fan of much… However, I’ve since changed my mind because some of them actually that bad. They might be useless for me, but they might be useful for you.

Merci Handy

Let’s start with the hand sanitiser. I need this when travelling on TfL. Trust me, I catch germs like Ash does Pokémon. So, it’s got to stop!

Merci Handy helps to a degree… It’s French, is rose gold in colour and seems pretty good? I’m not a hand gel connoisseur, I haven’t got any idea about how good it actually is…

As far as I know, it has one job, to kill the bacteria but keep it on our hands – until we can get to sink. That’s it. Oh, and it smells like perfumed alcohol.

Merci for reading.

Rodial Glamolash XXL

Yeah, okay, I’m going to say it – I wasn’t expecting much from this mascara…

Aside from the fact I’m very picky when it comes to mascaras, I have worn Rodial before, in the form of a foundation, and it didn’t agree with me.

I’ve got to say that I wasn’t expecting to be blown away by this… I was even reluctant to try it. Boy was I wrong. It’s lovely. Again, I’m not saying it’s the best I’ve ever used, I’m just saying it’s good.

It contains beeswax which helps with the conditioning of our lashes, carnauba wax which evens and fans them out and soluable collagen which works to provide full volume and body to them.

It’s a nice little sample, but I doubt I’ll be buying again…

The wand is nice and thin, just how I like it. I’d say it’s good for long lashed girls like myself, and even better for those with shorter lashes I’d suspect.

The most important thing about mascaras (for me) has to be the deep, dark colour. Rodial’s Glamolash XXL provides just that.

Models Co. Contour Stick

This one felt like I was applying Crayola on my cheekbones. Nah, it isn’t for me… I don’t do drawing on cheekbones, never have and won’t be starting anytime soon.

I’m sure it’s a great little tool for artists (of the makeup variety), but I can’t even draw a wing of eyeliner. I have no hope trying to draw contour.

Sorry, if we were on Family Fortunes you’d be hearing the BUZZER.

Also, while I’m here – GLOSSYBOX, the colour you gave me was horrendous… It was brown, sparkly, and I looked like I’d smeared glittery shit on my face. Nah, soz. I ain’t ’bout that life.

Elgon Deliwash Haircare Cleansing Conditioner Co-Wash

Oh! This one has to be my favourite of all of the Glossybox samples I received! Let’s face it, two out of four were abysmal, and another was a hand sanitiser, so… I mean, come on!

This smells lush, makes my hair feel soft and look shinier.

Mind you, I’ve just dyed my hair with L’Oréal’s Casting Creme Gloss (with Royal Jelly), if my hair gets any shinier, people’ll think it’s Rudolph’s nose a few months late (or early).

Yeah, I’d probably invest in this. It’s a definite maybe.

Again, like everything else in this month’s box, I wasn’t expecting much from this… However, it pleasantly surprised me. Well done, GLOSSYBOX.

SportFX Brow Pencil

I gave this one to my mum. I do not need it, one bit… My eyebrows are thick and black as it is… If I was to use this on top of them, I’d look like the night sky.

Another thing, I have experience of drawing my eyebrows (and lips) in with a pencil, the end result wasn’t pretty…. I looked like what would happen if Ru Paul’s Drag Race and a clown procreated.

My mum might be pleased with it though because her eyebrows aren’t as dark as mine, and she might actually know how to use it professionally. I’ll ask her and get back to you.

Final note: if it’s got Sport in the title, give it to the likes of Usain Bolt or Mo Farah, they’ll put it to good use.

To conclude, the best things about this box was the mascara and the conditioner. The hand sanitiser? Are you serious? You want me to get excited over that? It’s good but come on… Don’t even get me started on that Crayola Glitter shit thing! The brow pencil I’m indifferent on ’cause I never used it (and won’t).

label.m Therapy – Toni & Sacha Mascolo present a luxury haircare range incorporating the exclusive Rejuven-8 ™ Complex. With eight of the most technologically advanced Anti-ageing ingredients and is designed to reverse the visible signs of ageing, leaving hair looking strong, radiant and youthful.

This sulphate-free conditioner will restore, replenish and rejuvenate hair and is designed to quickly transform weak, dull, aged hair into strong, radiant and youthful looking hair.

label.m, sounds like something I should be using, because I have too many Ms in my full name! The letter appears a whopping FIVE times!

label.m’s Therapy Rejuvenating Shampoo & Conditioner is a line that I’ve used previously, when I was blonde. Those were the days when I was a client at Toni & Guy. Not any more…

Toni & Guy are good, but it’s got to be said that two of their technicians ruined my hair. 😭

I loved the first colour technician that worked on it, she made my hair look beautiful. Sadly, she later left and I was assigned two different technicians who took over (at different times) and that’s when my hair went downfollicle (instead of hill).

After my hair became damaged beyond repair, the team suggested a shampoo and conditioner (this one in particular) along with treatments to nourish it. I tried them at the time, and remember that it did help a little – but my hair was dead and gone so…

I’m not saying these didn’t work, because they did. Also, I’m sure your hair is nowhere near as damaged as mine was at the time of using this…

However, I did expect, based on the price that I paid, for it to bring better results. Instead, as I’ve previously mentioned, a cut, the Lisap spray and monthly Olaplex 3 in 1 treatments were my saviours.

Back to label.m’s Therapy… I love the sleek, purple packaging. It’s very eye catching. The colour combo of lavender and silver really works well in my opinion. The smell? Divine. It smells floral and perfume-esque. I absolutely love it for its scent alone.

Best thing about it? It’s sulphate-free, which means it won’t damage your hair. It’s aimed at turning dry, damaged hair to its former glory.

My verdict? It helped me at the time, but as I said it wasn’t what made the ultimate difference.

Having said that, I’m sure if I was to use this now, I’d notice a drastic change in my hair’s thickness, feel, shine and texture. I love label.m and don’t have anything bad to say about it nor Toni & Guy. At the end of the day, it was my decision to go fully platinum blonde (from being raven haired). In hindsight, I shouldn’t have got too aHEAD of myself.

30 Beauty Questions Tag

I enjoyed the ‘Tattoo Tagso much that I’ve decided to do another one… However, I’m now turning my attentions to Beauty..

Do you remember your first makeup item?

I actually do! I think my first makeup product was the Maybelline Super Stay 16 Hour Foundation in 300 shades too dark and about 700 layers too thick. That was Mii… Haters would say I looked like an acne-sufferer who resembled TanMom!

Describe your perfect mascara. Have you found one that fits your specifications?

I have to say that my favourite ever mascara has to be the Masterpiece Transform by MaxFactor. This one suits my lashes perfectly and to a T. It lengthens, it curls, it thickens and it darkens… I love everything about it. Even the thin wand…

What kind of coverage do you prefer from foundation?

Matte and flawless coverage – but I don’t mind if a blemish is still be visible. Also, I wouldn’t say no to a few glowing areas… However, I don’t want to look like I’ve been doing nothing but performing the act of facial perspiration all day!

Favourite high end brand?

Christian Dior. It’s one of them ones that can show all the other high-end ones the Door

What cosmetic brands have you always wanted to try but still haven’t?

Kiko Milano, Kat Von D, Shiseido, Sephora, Origins.

Favorite drugstore brand?

L’Oréal (or Bourjois). I have a thing for the Parisienne.

Do you wear fake eyelashes?

Nope. I literally can’t even contemplate fake lashes or a metal eyelash curler. My lashes are my eyes’ life… If I put glue on them to put extra lashes on, my real OGs will real COME OFF!

Is there any kind of makeup you can’t leave the house without?

I’ve left my house looking like I shouldn’t have left or that I don’t have one to leave plenty of times… So, in a word, no.

What is your most cherised beauty product?

My L’Oreal Men Expert Tattoo Reviver. I’m not even going to *tattoo* coat it… There, I said it! 😉

How often do you shop for makeup? Do you like to pick up an item here and there or get lots of goodies at once?

I shop often for makeup and food. I think makeup comes before food. I pick up items here or there and/or hoard them here or there as well. I’d buy a product, forget about it, think I’ve lost it when I remember, then find it again – out of date…

Do you have a “beauty budget” or you spend freely? 

I’m moving into my own place at the end of the year, so, no – I can’t afford to not budget.

Do you utilize coupons, rewards cards and sales when you shop for cosmetics?

Nah. I’m awful at this. I should, but I don’t. I just A) never remember to and B) don’t see the point because realistically they’re making you spend more than you need to. Having said that, one thing I do love, is my mum’s Boots’ card. 😍😍😍.

Is there a brand that you absolutely can’t stand?

If I don’t like a brand, I won’t blog about it or use its products… If I love a brand, I blog about it. If they have a product that doesn’t agree with me, I’m honest.

Do you avoid certain ingredients in cosmetics like parabens or sulfates?

There’s only so much you can actually do to prevent ingredients… I just try to use the most natural of products or products that have a high % of natural ingredients in them.

Do you have a favorite place to shop for makeup?

Boots/Superdrug. I get lost in there. Sometimes when I need Dior, I venture into Fenwick or John Lewis and can never find the exit. I mean, how does one find the exit of one of those?

Do you like trying new skincare products or do you keep a certain routine?

I love trying new ones, but I think it’s best – for my skin – to stick to a routine because I don’t want my skin to breakout again. It was awful.

Favorite bath and body brand?

L U S H. It’s, umm, LUSH.

What brand do you think has the best packaging?

Guerlain. That packaging though… Also, LANCÔME is up there too, tbh.

Which celebrity always has great makeup?

Vanessa Hudgens or Kate Middleton.

5 Favorite Beauty Gurus

What? 😆

I’m supposed to say who I look up to for makeup? Myself, I reckon I do good makeup on myself and just about no-one else. Charlotte Tilbury. HudaBeauty. Jenna Marbles (if she was to do a makeup video). My neighbours’ cat? I’m sure she’ll be good at it if I train her. 💖

Do you like multifunctional products like lip and cheek stains?

That’s like asking me if I like bidets. I love bidets.

Are you clumsy in putting on makeup?

Do you mean: “have you left dents in your eye where you pupil used to be (whilst putting on mascara)”? If so, yes.

 Do you use makeup base/primer for the eyes?

The only things I ever wear on my eye are creams, mascara and eyeliner. I can’t for the life of me (or anyone else’s) do eyeshadow. Also, I might as well own up now in saying that my eyeliner isn’t “wings and dat”… It’s more “line your waterline and on/under the lash line (with Khol) and hope for the best”.

How many hair products do you use on a typical day?

Zero. None. Nought.

What do you apply first, concealer or foundation?

Isn’t that like asking me if I pour milk into my bowl before the Coco Pops – or – if the Chicken came before the Egg?

Come on, people! What are some of these questions?! Why on God’s Earth would I put concealer before the foundation??? If you do that then I’m sorry, I’m sure it works for you but it’s just not something I’m familiar with.

Do you ever consider taking makeup classes?

The word ‘consider’ is a strong one. You could “consider” something all you want, if you really want to do it, you would. 💖

What do you love about makeup?

That I can write about it. That it gives others confidence… That it can transform people’s faces or bodies. If you think about it, makeup is really quite something.