The internet, for me, is not about the amount of connections I have, it’s about the ones I know in real life.
I know I can’t talk on the subject because mine is more modest, but I’d like to think that even if I had loads, I’d still maintain the same belief.
My belief is that unless you are a brand, a business, or a well-known/recognised figure in the public eye, you shouldn’t worry abou the amount of likes/comments/connections you have.
I blog, but I don’t blog for followers. I blog because it’s a diary (or my chance to talk about things that matter to me, or review products).
The online realm, for me, has over time become a mere distraction… It’s a filler for the lack of responsibilities I currently have.
I’m lucky in that I’m still living at home, planning on getting my first house, going to work… That’s what I live for. I don’t have the responsibilities of other people my age who might already be married or parents.
Once I marry, I’m getting straight off it because the internet does more damage than good. The online realm would’ve served its purpose in entertaining me for as long as it needed. Life is a journey. We hold on to things until we no longer should. Everything serves its purpose eventually.
So, if you take away anything from this post let it be that I cannot stress enough how unimportant it all is. Of all the online connections I’ve made, how many can I call in a crisis? Have I tried to bring certain online connections into my real life? Yes. However, none of the ones that have chosen to remain strictly online will be aware.
Also, do you really think I will allow Mark Zuckerberg et el to have photos of my future children? Facebook is the first platform I’ll remove myself from.
I don’t need the online realm. I just choose to want it for now. There’s a difference. [Yes, I went through a phase where I thought I needed it, but I had an epiphany and haven’t since – wisdom is a beautiful thing.]
Like I said, I‘ve always used the online sphere to connect to people I don’t know IRL and even as my diary. I’m so grateful for the connections I’ve made, and will continue to make – for sure. But, I used to use it as a platform to showcase my happy times, but would disappear off the face of the earth when I wasn’t happy or in a good mood. (I’d even delete posts that made me look like I was going through a hard time.)
Eventually, that mask started to slip. Because, NEWSFLASH: I am human and not happy all of the time – in fact, probably most of the time. (That’s the truth, not a sob-story. We all go through shit. I just have quite extreme mood swings. It doesn’t help that I’m a woman with hormones and periods).
I genuinely was embarrassed of my mood-swings and erratic nature, so I’d tried to hide it. But, I’m proud to announce that 28 years in, I’ve finally accepted myself, even if most don’t choose to.
I’d say that overall, I’m happy 10-20%, unhappy (in recent times) about 30-40 and an equal mix of angry, insecure, and confused with a hint of neutrality the remainder of the time…That. Is. Me. I make no apologies and won’t hide that. You shouldn’t either.
Look, the last thing I want is for people to have the wrong perception of me… Although, I’ve learned that if people are addicted to seeing us in a certain way, they’ll do it anyway, even if we go as far as dissecting ourselves in front of them…
Followers will choose to follow us regardless. People will choose to be around us IRL regardless. The followers who we know IRL are a bonus. That’s what we have to understand.
There is nothing that can keep a true person from us. What’s real can never fade, regardless of how hard we try to push it away.
To conclude, how many of our online connections can we call in a crisis? Not the ones who we don’t have IRL, right?
The web really isn’t everything – unless it’s something our career or public image depends on, in which case we’ve no choice. However, even then, we do. We’re selective about what parts we show and how we’re being marketed.