Darlings, I have created a one-of-a-kind ‘floral chypre’ perfume harmony that IGNITES a mind-altering fleurotic frequency. Featuring a blend of JOY top notes including Lemon, Peach and Black Pepper, ‘FLEUROTIC’ heart notes of Jasmine, Frankincense, Tuberose and Violet, plus PSYCHOACTIVE ‘pheromone’ base notes of Fire Tree, Iso E Super, Patchouli and Ambroxan. It attracts LOVE, LIGHT, POWER, POSITIVITY and SEX to the wearer!

Fall has fallen into our lives once more… This little fact has absolutely nothing to do with what I’m about to review. So, you get what you’re given, basically.

Oh, one last thing – I’m not about to give you Dream by Charlotte Tilbury… What I am about to give you is my take on it – which is more valuable. You’re welcome!

Does it smell nice? Sure. Yeah, it is a nice smell. I mean, if you have nostrils and sinuses that are in working order, use them and you too will realise it’s nice. But, is it worth its price (£48-64)? No.

I would use it very sparingly i.e. half a squirt each time you’re about to attend a very special occasion that you hardly ever go to. So, once every millennium (instead of New Year) should be enough.

The way I see it, you’ve got to smell good as you ring in the Year 3000! Busted couldn’t predict that, could they?

Have no fear, if the Year 3000 celebrations aren’t your thing, wait for the Blue Moon – that’s equally special, rare and astronomical.

Does it attract “love, power, light, positivity and sex” as it claims? Well, I’m still a virgin (by choice) but have been paying my electricity bill regularly – so that’s ‘light’ covered at least… Mind you, the price I paid for this perfume, it was touch and go quite honestly. Oh, and it’s a powerful scent, that’s for sure!

On the flip side, I am glad about my ability to remain positive since paying that much for a fragrance I’ll hardly ever wear. Then again, my love life is still car crash… So, all in all, it’s a mix bag.

One could argue I’m not wearing it enough; I might start wearing it every 500 years – that should do the trick…