2018 has been a year for reflection and understanding. I’ve finally been able to get my head out of the clouds or sand (other places available upon request) and into reality. It was like a reckoning or an awakening that I needed.

As much as it hurt, and still does, the lesson that 2018 has taught me is the ability to notice a pipe dream from an achievable goal.

I was known as a forward thinker, future-planner and someone who’s dreams were bigger than their personality. It was just a part of me, I never noticed it until this year… It’s amazing when you step back to evaluate yourself and realise that it was all you’ve known.

My thoughts and perceptions had been a certain way for 26 years, so it was hard for me to accept that it wasn’t a reality nor that it never had been.

When you’re a forward thinker, you have plans, ideas and visions… You strive to make those visions happen. But, if those visions, ideas and/or plans involve other people who aren’t physically in your life at present – don’t (or do, but only for fun – in a story or film).

If your dreams involve other people, that is a ‘pipe dream’. If a dream involves no one else but you, it’s an ‘achievable goal’. Simple.

You can’t force someone or do anything in your power to make them want to share that dream nor want to make it a reality with you.

Therefore, it’s better not to waste your own time on this… Focus on those dreams that involve only you. We are in control of our own destiny where those are concerned.

Yes, your dreams that involve others can work out, but they don’t always pan out the way we’d hoped and there’s always a reason. Patience allows something more suited to you to come along in time…

However, a whopping 89% of those dreams that involve only us can be made into a reality if we not only believe but stay persistent and most importantly: work hard.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Do your best.

Dreams that involve just us are achievable because: we are the only ones in control. What we put in, we get out. Whereas, if it’s a ‘pipe dream’ involving others, we can put in 110%, but what we get out of it is not in our control.

Tip: strive for greatness for you and only you. If things are meant to be, they will. But, you’d have spent your time focusing on yourself and changing your reality during the time when you were the only one in it at the time.

Then, when it’s your time to build a future with someone, it will no longer be a pipe dream, but an achievable goal.

To conclude, only build a future or dream with someone when they’re there, beside, in front or around you. Until then, do but not to the extent that you’re attaching hopes or visions – because one day, you’ll look back and realise you were wishing on planes the whole time (not stars).