I wanted to put together a little post on tips that should (hopefully) motivate and inspire my readers (which, if you’re still here, thanks! You’re the reason I do it).
This time, I’m talking about the art of loving ourselves.
In the age of social-media (and general media), it is very hard to love ourselves. The media was designed to show us what the ‘perfect person’ should look and behave like… Well, the truth is… The way every person looks and acts is ‘perfect’.
What is ‘perfection’?
Perfection is real. Real people are perfect.
We are all perfect and are at our most perfect when we come together in a perfectly imperfect unity.
‘Perfect’ is what we see in the mirror. ‘Perfect’ is our trials, tribulations, scars (or war-paint). ‘Perfect’ is our ability to tame our erratic moods with our tender and peaceful nature, forming a type of yin-yang. That is ‘perfect’. That is human.
We all, as the human race, have flaws. But, the key is to focus and accentuate our greatness – thankfully, we all have that too. Having said that, we are our worst critics.
On the one hand, we know we need to cut ourselves some slack. On the other, we never do. That’s because we’re hardwired to not love ourselves, because of the media’s take on what garners attention.
If we loved ourselves, we’d be a lot kinder to ourselves, fact.
The journey to loving ourselves
I decided to embark on the journey of loving myself after reading Cheryl Cole’s autobiography.
Umm… Only God can judge ‘mii?
In her book, she mentions that she learned to love herself (and finally accept herself) at the age of 30.
Look, I’m pretty sure she didn’t plan on being 30 when she learned to love herself. (In fact, I’m pretty sure she said she wished she got there sooner.) But, I’m also certain she’s glad she got there eventually – because, I’d imagine that to be the most liberating feeling in the world.
Anyway, I remember reading that part of her book and thinking: “I don’t want to be 30 when I learn. I’ve got to start from now…” Not that there’s anything wrong with learning to love yourself at 30 (or any age for that matter).
Life is not a race. We always arrive on time. I believe that all it comes down to is hearing someone talking about it. The age that you discover it, albeit through word-of-mouth, is the age you might start feeling ready to take the first step.
Sure enough, I made it my long-term goal and wrote it down on a piece of paper… I hid it in a drawer, and still to this day get it out to analyse my progress.
I was 23 when I read her book. It has been five years, almost. I’m here to tell you that in that time, I’m almost 70% there (ups & downs included).
As I said, I’ve had my fair share of ups and downs along the way. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still have them now. Yes, there have been setbacks which delayed my growth, but, I’m not giving up.
What happens once we learn to love ourselves?
Once we learn to love ourselves, we open ourselves up to endless possibilities and opportunities…
We’ll find it considerably easier to break cycles/habits that we struggled with previously.
We’ll start cutting ourselves some slack, going easier on ourselves…
We’ll free ourselves from burdens and past grudges. We start focusing on our pros/greatness rather than our cons/flaws.
We’ll start appreciating life and the connections we have, making the most of them.
We’ll start living in the moment, feeling confident enough to push ourselves out of our comfort zone.
We’ll start to understand our worth, and what we deserve – going after the life that’s destined for us.
How does one learn to love themselves?
It’s never too late to start… It begins with simple but positive affirmations (replacing each negative thought about ourselves with three positive ones). Eventually, our minds will train themselves to think positive.
Don’t be surprised if you start seeing the G.O.A.T and HRH (His/Her Royal Hotness) staring back at you in the mirror once you start. Because, that, is exactly who/what you are.