If it were possible, would you live on the moon?

No, not really. I like looking up at it at night…

If you could break any world record which one would it be?

Loving someone the most.

If you could got back in time 1,000 years, what year would you visit?

1876.

Would you let me slap you for a hundred dollars?

I’d let you slap me for free… In fact I’d slap myself on your and others’ behalves.

What famous historical figure would like to fight?

Hitler.

What’s the weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

That I was in the Battle of 1066.

If you could master one musical instrument, what would it be?

Recorder.

If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title would be?

She’s a bit shit, but great at it.

Have you ever been drunk in public?

I fall asleep after a drink, so probably not.

Would you dress in drag for $25?

I do things for free.

What do you think phones will be like in 10 years?

Holograms.

What bad habit do you have that you know you need to break, but don’t really want to?

Loving people I shouldn’t.

If you were president for the day, what one thing would you change about the country?

I’d make it illegal to hate anyone.

How would you describe yourself in three words?

A lot strange.

If money were no object, where in the world would you choose to live?

Venus.

If you had to eat one thing from McDonald’s, every meal for a week straight, what would you chose?

Cheese dippers.

Describe your own personal hell.

Being hated by the people I love most.

Describe your own personal heaven.

Being loved by the people I love most.

If you could deliver a speech to the entire world, what would you say?

Live, laugh, love.

Have you ever chased down an ice cream truck as an adult?

Yes, for a Cherry Brandy.

What is the weirdest scar you have and how did you get it?

On my wrists and ankles. When I was a baby, ops.

If you had to choose to live without one of your five senses, which one would you give up?

Smell.

Have you ever saved someone’s life?

I don’t know.

Has anyone ever saved your life?

Every day.

If you found out you were the direct descendant of a king or queen, would that boost your self esteem or have no affect on you at all?

I’d scream: “SHUT UP!” like Mia from Princess Diaries.

What skills do you posses that could help you survive the zombie apocalypse?

Diarrhoea on demand.

If you inherited a single room off-the-grid cabin in the woods, would you be excited or disappointed?

Delighted!

If you could choose your age forever, what age would you choose and why?

40. Life begins.

Have you ever been scared enough to wet your pants?

I’ve wet myself in fear (and out of it).

If you could go back in time and change history, what would you change?

Everything happens for a reason and only God can change things… But, I’d probably keep Martin Luther King and Princess Diana alive.

Who is your favorite cartoon character?

Marge Simpson.

If you could kill off any character from a current television show, who would it be?

I don’t fancy a life sentence, and I don’t really want to.

Would you go streaking across a football field during a game for a million dollars knowing there’s a 50/50 chance you’ll get arrested for indecent exposure?

I am not a naturist, therefore no. If, for whatever reason I was, I’d do it for free. Modesty, guys. Modesty.

What was your first CD and when did you get it?

Delta Goodrem Born To Try. I bought it when it was first released.

What is something you are currently obsessed with?

Water.

If a theme song played every time you entered a room, what would it be?

Emmerdale.

What insect do you wish would completely go extinct?

None. I love all insects and animals as long as they don’t attack.

What is your guilty pleasure?

Innocent Business.

Would you like to live to be 200 years old?

No. I wouldn’t tempt fate.

Would you rather be a judge or a lawyer?

My mum’s a lawyer, so neither. She does it better than anyone.

If you had to read an entire encyclopaedia, which letter would you choose?

M.

Who is your favorite stand-up comedian?

The best one.

If you had to spend the rest of your life as a tree what kind of tree would you be?

Bonsai.

If you were in the circus what kind of performer would you be? (Clown, tight-rope walker, etc)

Lion tamer.

What phobias have you overcome in your lifetime?

Heights.

Have you thrown up in a car?

No, I’ve gone outside to do it.

Do you think all dogs go to heaven?

Of course!

If you could go on a cross country road trip with famous person, dead or alive, who would it be?

Virgin Mary.

Would you become a professional bank robber if you knew you would never get caught?

No, heists aren’t my idea of fun.

What’s something you always wanted to do as a child but never got to do it?

Prom. I wasn’t able to go to prom, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing – watch my wedding!

If you were in a witness protection program, what would be your new name and where would you go?

Robbin’ Fick. I’d go to prison for lifting shops.

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?

Stroganoff.

What famous artist, dead or alive, would you want to paint your portrait?

Monet.

What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever cried about?

My life.

If you could rid the world of one disease what would it be?

Cancer.

What board game do you hate the most?

I love all board games.

If you could get away with a crime, would you? If yes, what would it be?

Loving someone. Love is a crime, isn’t it?

Who was your first celebrity crush?

Vernon Kay.

What’s the worst thing you ever did as a child and what was your punishment?

Was born. My life.

What is one thing you refuse to share?

Why would I share it now? Some things are best kept close to my chest, especially when it means the world.

What are two things you would do if you woke up to find yourself completely invisible?

Stalk people. Move things and have people wondering where they put them…

Describe the worst haircut you’ve ever had.

When I was younger, I kept going on about wanting short hair, so my mum gave in and asked the hairdresser to give me a bowl cut to teach me a lesson.

If you were offered the position of mayor of your city, would you take it?

Sure.

Have you ever pooped your pants? (not including when you were a baby)

Figuratively, all the time. Physically, also all the time.

If you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?

The ability to make people love me.

If you could be on the cover of any magazine which one would you choose?

Forbes, I’ll make it on one of those lists one day.

What song would you sing for your American Idol audition?

Summertime.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?

NA I love work and every job I’ve ever had.

What is the funniest movie you have ever seen?

Bad Teacher.

If you could trade lives with anyone for a day who would it be and why?

The person I was in my past life.

Which Disney princess do you find to be the most attractive?

Cinderella.

What country would you never want to visit?

I want to see the entire world. No country is off the list.

What scene from a non-horror movie scared you as a child?

When she finds out she has three dads in Mamma Mia.

What kind of phone was your first cell phone?

Nokia 3310.

What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done in a hotel room?

Slept.

If you were about to be executed what five foods would have as your last meal?

Mississippi Mud Pie, sushi, fries, prawn cocktail, lobster roll…

Which would be harder for you to give up: coffee or alcohol?

Water.

On a scale from 1-10 what’s the highest level of pain you’ve ever been in?

Cutting my toenails.

If you could start a collection of one kind of item, what would it be?

Shoes.

Who is the most famous person you have ever met?

Jesus.

What fashion trend do you wish would come back?

Crocs.

What fashion trend do you wish would go away?

That thing “roadman” do when they wear their trousers by their ankles.

You’re in prison with a life sentence, what was your crime?

Loving someone I probably shouldn’t.

If you could bring one fictional character to life, who would it be?

Wonder Woman.

If you inherited or won a million dollars, what’s the very first thing you would do with the money?

Put it in a fund for my future children.

What two languages would you like to be fluent in?

Chinese and Italian.

Would you rather be a hobbit or an elf for 24 hours?

Elf. I want to meet Santa.

What would you do if you were the lone survivor of a plane crash?

Kill myself.

What is your favorite sport in the Winter Olympics?

Bobsled.

What one toy do you wish never existed?

Baby Born.

What is your favorite smell?

Anything but shit, sick, sweat or piss.

Do you believe in Bigfoot?

Only on Wednesdays.

What is one thing women do that grosses you out?

Having a period.

And men?

Man flu.

What’s your favorite viral YouTube video?

Mateo with the cupcakes.

What is the last book you read?

The Bible, again.

What was your favorite color or Crayola crayon growing up?

Orange.

Describe your perfect sandwich

Crisps and butter.

Kiehl’s has always been my favourite brand of skincare… Although I’ve regularly mentioned Lush Cosmetics previously, Kiehl’s will remain my first choice – because I will never forget how it saved my skin and cured it from acne.

Kiehl’s appeals to me because, like Lush, it’s made from natural and herbal ingredients.

No, I don’t even need to write about their Midnight Recovery serum as it’s an award-winning concentrate that speaks for itself…

However, I don’t write to promote, I write to express my opinion. With that in mind, I’m going to express it.

Although it’s been on my dressing table for a while, I decided to start using it consistently about a two weeks ago. I particularly like the fact that this serum is suitable for dry, combo and oily skins.

One night. A few drops. Younger-looking skin by morning.

Like thousands of fellow patrons, use a few drops of Kiehl’s UK & Ireland #1 best-seller, Midnight Recovery Concentrate, every night for younger-looking skin by morning. Wake up to fresher-feeling skin, which is more toned, and with improved radiance.This formula works by enhancing your skin’s natural night-time recovery process – so make your skin work for you while you sleep! Additionally the formula is not only paraben-free, but also 99.8% natural-derived. A few of the key ingredients include Lavender Essential Oil, Primrose Oil, and Kiehl’s-signature ingredient squalane, derived from olives.And that’s not all – it’s made from a recyclable glass bottle, dropper and plastic squeeze top in a protective 100% recycled board carton.

Process: wash your face. Prime it. Apply three drops across your face. Night moisturise. Go to sleep. Wake up and wash it off.

Result: over time, your skin will look repaired, replenished and moisturised. But, results are visible upon first use.

My verdict: It’s brilliant. Expensive (£38 for 30ml) but well worth it. You can get testers to try before deciding whether it’s for you. I’d give it a 5*.

As I’ve alluded throughout this post, it’s the greatest overnight serum I’ve used. All Kiehl’s products are intense (in terms treatment) but sensitive enough to suit all skin-tones and types.

2018 has been a year for reflection and understanding. I’ve finally been able to get my head out of the clouds or sand (other places available upon request) and into reality. It was like a reckoning or an awakening that I needed.

As much as it hurt, and still does, the lesson that 2018 has taught me is the ability to notice a pipe dream from an achievable goal.

I was known as a forward thinker, future-planner and someone who’s dreams were bigger than their personality. It was just a part of me, I never noticed it until this year… It’s amazing when you step back to evaluate yourself and realise that it was all you’ve known.

My thoughts and perceptions had been a certain way for 26 years, so it was hard for me to accept that it wasn’t a reality nor that it never had been.

When you’re a forward thinker, you have plans, ideas and visions… You strive to make those visions happen. But, if those visions, ideas and/or plans involve other people who aren’t physically in your life at present – don’t (or do, but only for fun – in a story or film).

If your dreams involve other people, that is a ‘pipe dream’. If a dream involves no one else but you, it’s an ‘achievable goal’. Simple.

You can’t force someone or do anything in your power to make them want to share that dream nor want to make it a reality with you.

Therefore, it’s better not to waste your own time on this… Focus on those dreams that involve only you. We are in control of our own destiny where those are concerned.

Yes, your dreams that involve others can work out, but they don’t always pan out the way we’d hoped and there’s always a reason. Patience allows something more suited to you to come along in time…

However, a whopping 89% of those dreams that involve only us can be made into a reality if we not only believe but stay persistent and most importantly: work hard.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Do your best.

Dreams that involve just us are achievable because: we are the only ones in control. What we put in, we get out. Whereas, if it’s a ‘pipe dream’ involving others, we can put in 110%, but what we get out of it is not in our control.

Tip: strive for greatness for you and only you. If things are meant to be, they will. But, you’d have spent your time focusing on yourself and changing your reality during the time when you were the only one in it at the time.

Then, when it’s your time to build a future with someone, it will no longer be a pipe dream, but an achievable goal.

To conclude, only build a future or dream with someone when they’re there, beside, in front or around you. Until then, do but not to the extent that you’re attaching hopes or visions – because one day, you’ll look back and realise you were wishing on planes the whole time (not stars).


Good morning! I have finally succumbed to loving this weather and I’m now embracing every minute of it! Isn’t it beautiful!?!?

“Never in a month of Sundays”? Umm, it has been sunny for more than a month… So: ‘RIGHT NOW IS a month of SUN DAYS (and then some!)’

Okay, this post has nothing to do with the weather, it’s predominantly on my new Brazilian Blowout… But, also, the weather! Thanks.

It’s apparently going to be record-breaking in Europe. Please enjoy it before #Brexit goes into full effect.

Brazilian blow-dries are a lot like this weather – they’re HOT! *laughs in Brazilian and books flights to do it in Rio*

Procedure: washing hair with cuticle opening shampoo (twice). Then, adding the natural solution/treatment. You then wait 10 minutes for it to soak in and blow-dry it in, then straighten it. After that, you rinse only with water and condition. Then blow-dry it again. It’s a three hour process.

So, three hours well spent – if I’m going to spend the next four months STILL not brushing my hair.

Anyway, long story longer, I had it done because my mum could not bear me leaving the house without brushing my hair…

Usually, parents have to do that whole Birds & the Bees talk, right?

My mum had nothing to worry about because I’m abstaining and that life chose me until marriage.

But, other lives that chose me were the “not-brush my hair” and “look homeless” ones. I actually sat my mum down at the tender age of 15 to tell her it ain’t happening.

I remember the speech, and she wishes she didn’t… It was and I quote: “mum, some people want to be astronauts, I just don’t want to brush my hair.”

She understood, reluctantly, and then continued to try as she might-ed to keep me strategically placed next to combs and hair brushes. She thought the days when I’d straighten my hair were a revelation, because they were so few and far between.

Brazilian blowdries, for me, just mean I can continue not brushing my hair. I can go four months without brushing AND hearing “can you brush you hair?”, “Do you want a brush?” and “Let me brush your hair!!!”

Why do I not brush my hair? There were 24 hours in a day last time I checked… There are 7 days in a week, four weeks in a month and 12 months in a year. Not one second/minute/hour/month/week/year/leap year/decade/millennium or anything time-related was made for me to pick up a comb and utter the words: “let me use you!” Who do you think I am, the Kings of Leon of hair brushers?

I LOVE Brazilian blow-dries. My USP is to I cut corners where hair brushing is concerned, and this gives me that…

It’s a treatment that straightens, nourishes, and softens the hair, giving it added shine. As I explained briefly (and a lot), it lasts 4 months (if you only wash it once a week).

Yes, it is dependent on how many times you wash it. This is great because I don’t have to spend my showers washing my hair too! Extra time for me to do NOTHING! Lo’ AND BEHOLD! What a LIFE!

Thanks to Jurema for doing my hair and making me look HOME-FULL! I actually look like I live inside of an abode now! My life has changed stratospherically.

My mum and my follicles are eternally grateful. I’m just grateful that I don’t have to hear conversations related to brushing of the hair.

Rating: 5*