DrSalts+

Have you ever felt like flying to Nepal to climb and/or swim in the Himalayas but then thought: ‘you know what, I could just run to Superdrug to pick up some Himalayan Bath Salts…’? Yes, so have I.

I’ve got a friend in Nepal so I’d love to go, but when money is an object and my job is the object of my affection, it’s a no can do situation.

In other news, remember ‘Salt Bae‘? Well, he’s only gone and went to Uni and got a degree and is now DrSalts+ Bae…*

*debatable

Before I get further into this review, here are some facts about Himalayan salts (bath ones in particular) and why you need them in your rooms of the bathing variety….

Himalayan salts are found deep within the rivers and valleys of the Himalayan Mountains. They were formed 250 million years ago from ancient unpolluted seas and are considered to be some of the most pure salts in the world.

Himalayan salts contain upwards of 84 minerals and trace elements, almost identical to those in our body – it is easy to see why bathing in high quality Himalayan salts could replenish the minerals which are critical to maintaining a healthy body, especially the skin and muscles.

I can reveal that I’m thoroughly impressed with these, I use them and have noticed a difference. They’re very helpful after a workout

They help to relax my muscles, and this blog is my oyster. When you get it, you’ll get it… When you won’t, you’ll never get it.

The colour of these salts are beautiful pink/coral. Wow. The affordability of these salts are also wow. The packaging gets another wow.

I love DrSalts+ Himalayan because it’s full of minerals including sodium, magnesium, calcium, potassium and iron. These salts are made for your next bath, especially because of their list of benefits:

  • Stimulate circulation
  •  Detoxify and hydrate the skin
  • Increase moisture retention
  • Help to promote cellular regeneration and can help to heal dry, irritated skin
  • Help reduce inflammation of the muscles and joints, relax muscles and can
  • therefore help to relieve pain and soreness
  • Reduce stress and promote a better night’s sleep

Here is one thing I find extremely strange: salt when consumed by my person makes me inflate but when washed in by my person it’s somewhat detoxifying. Hmm…

To conclude, I want to liken them to FROSTIES ’cause they’re “GREAAAAT!”

Japanese, Sushi

Japanese cuisine – aka: ‘sushi’. Now is the time to discuss my favourite cuisine EVER… It’s with great pride that I announce sushi is Bae. It’s been bae all this time… Bae. ‘Anywae’, yaeh – bae.

I love sushi of all types, hosomaki, uramaki,nigiri, sashimi, maki and temaki… They’re life. I love them because you can purchase sushi in different variations to suit your dietary requirements (i.e. vegetarian, pescatarian, and sometimes even meat). My favourite of all has to be the uramaki – a simple salmon & avocado would do just fine.

Other reasons to like sushi: anyone who’s everyone can have and enjoy these filling but bite sized tasters. Also, there are two styles of sushi such as tempura and/or raw. The good thing is, it’s up to the person’s preference. I think this is why I love sushi more than any other cuisine.

Furthermore, (oo-er, yes BIG words now…) I don’t usually eat rice – but when I do, it’s sticky rice. I’d eat sticky rice (the main ingredient of sushi) on a daily basis if I could…

There’s a really great Japanese shop near where I work that makes them fresh to buy each day. At 4pm, they start selling them for clean cheap (not dirt) because they don’t like food waste… Neither do I.

Want to learn how to make sushi? Here‘s a recipe to feast your eyes and mouth on.

In terms of good sushi restaurants in London, my personal favourite is Eat Tokyo in Golder’s Green. Others include SushiSamba in Liverpool Street, and Nobu in Oxford Street.

How much sushi could a sushi chef sushi if a sushi chef could sushi? All of ’em.

In order to reach my 300 word count, I’ll be explaining How To: eat sushi:

  • with chopsticks
  • you can go all #ThugLyf and eat them by hand

All you have to do is pop them in your sushi-hole like a Skittle and not only hope for the best but become the best.

Accompaniments to sushi: usually you’d find pickled ginger and wasabi which – umm, let’s skip that… I love chilli but I don’t want to cremate my tastebuds with a paste! Finally, you can also add soya sauce to enhance the experience of sushi eating. However, I can’t because my face’ll bloat faster and would look more inflated than a life-sized beach ball.

Without further ado… Chow down.

Pad Thai

If you follow me  on Twitter (and have yet to mute me for my constant LIVE streaming of my daily parodic life), you’ll know that I love Pad Thai. I’m actually learning to love Pad Thai more than life’s fair share of humans… Twitter’ll tell you I’m not anti-social though, I have published approximately 30k tweets. 😆

Anyway, Thai cuisine is the bae awae from bae… No, no. no… I don’t think you actually understand! When I eat a plate of extra nutty and spicy Pad Thai, I don’t think about the maybe painful excretion afterwards – I just eat it. 😋 It’s lush. It’s delicious. It’s everything.

If you’d like to make it for yourself, click here.

Here’s a contradiction for the inter-diction… I usually hate the sauce in stews but I wouldn’t mind that extra Pad Thai-an residue. It’s SO tasty when done right. I like it flavoursome aka ‘not bland’. I’ve sadly had a few where not even Chilli oil can save them.

If you’re looking for a great place to try some, there’s one in Camden that does is just right. Like the story of the Three Bears. Also, those prawns (as seen in the picture) were the best prawns I’ve ever put inside of my facial-hole known as ‘mouth’.

Back to the restaurant, I’m there as much as people go to work, school, or college/uni… If you don’t go to any of those, I love them as much as you stay at home or live that retired life. Prince Philip, if you’re reading, which – let’s face it, of course you are. You and the Queen are secret fans, aren’t you? The answer you’re looking for Philip is: “yes.”

What a guy! Retiring at 95, the dude’s a DON.

If Pad Thai entered FarEastVision, it’d get ichi ni san shi points from me.

GO TO ‘SUBWAY’ OR ‘SUB (a) SCRIBE’ TO MY NEWSLETTER

Also, if you’re genuinely in awe of my blog, there’s a rectangular box on the side (under my Twitter feed), get those sexy fingertips of yours to type out your email address… Then, do that Marvin Gaye healing thing of pressing ‘Subscribe’.

You’re going to want to – or not want to… It’s entirely up to you. But, umm, it’s in the best interest of your ancestors that you do. It’s what they would’ve wanted. They’d be like: ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ not subscribing to Miamii’s upcoming newsletter. 😘

BB Seaweed

A calming fresh face mask with fresh seaweed, ground almonds, rose absolute and aloe vera to soothe and soften the skin. We also use rosemary oil for its regenerative qualities, kaolin to remove any excess dirt or oil, and millet flakes to gently exfoliate away dead skin as you scrub it off. To use, smooth a generous layer of this mask onto your face and leave for 10 to 15 minutes.

LUSH describes this as a “calming” mask, I wholeheartedly, facially and bodily agree.

BB Seaweed has nothing to do with a smartphone being wrapped in seaweed (like some Hosomaki) or a documentary about weed on the BBC. Instead, it’s a LUSH fresh face-mask and one of my current faves!

Look, if I didn’t have Rudolph’s nose brightness spread across my face like some form of irrational rash, I wouldn’t have to use this… 😫

My skin felt calm and cool amongst other glorious things. Also, upon washing it off my skin looked radiant, soft and supple to touch and it (Vanessa) Feltz as though it’d been treated to an upmarket facial.

I loved it.

If I had to say anything constructive it’d be that I wasn’t a fan of its consistency. It was like rubbing clay sushi on my face! 🤢However, I’m willing to look past the above critique because BB Seaweed has really helped my skin. I cannot thank LUSH and the BB Seaweed enough.

Beautiful.

This is a special message to bae because I’m conscious that I haven’t mentioned him on my blog today…. What an absolute LEGEND he actually is. Words, letters, numbers, sentences, paragraphs, stanzas, dissertations, thesis’, books, features, reports, articles, newspapers, magazines, grammar, punctuation and alliteration are on the street, you’re B-A-E; the one and OWN-LY.

‘Onomatopoeia’ is my favourite word in English [on curriculum] and if I had to describe bae using it I’d choose “WHAM!” cos a few Christmases ago I gave him my heart… 💖

Last but by no means least, consonants are underrated. Vowels spell out “I” and “U” but consonants, when put together, can put the “WE” in WE belong together.

Show off and increase cleavage with our Perfect Sculpt Silicon Bra. Always see celebrities with that perfect cleavage? That’s because they use our Breast Lift bra. Why not use that extra boost? 😉

Silicone, strapless and invisible!

Bra is Reusable 50 – 100 times!

HOW TO USE:

1- Remove bra from box.
2- Loosen the clip on ties partially.
2- Place bra on your breasts.
3- Pull end of string ties, while pulling up the clip.
4- Enjoy the lift!

PERFECT SCULPT STRAPLESS BRA is the most popular bra on Facebook right now… So, I tried it, didn’t I? Of course I did.

Yes, I’m relatively flat chested, but I thought this would be a good purchase because it’d lift my (barely there) chest, in a hope that it’d make it look a little fuller… Needless to say it didn’t.

For one, it’s extremely sticky and uncomfortable! I know it’s called a ‘stick-on bra’ but I wasn’t expecting it to rip my skin off! There’s GLUE on the fabric – so it’s not silicone!

Basically – if you want a comparison, it left like the SHILLS mask and/or wax all over again, this time for the breasticles. Therefore, not only am I facially skinned but chest-ally too. Great.

Look, if you have fuller breasts, it might work better for you… However, I’d like to warn you – it’s a gluey bra, so if the two cups end up closing into one another, it’s hard to separate them. Also, don’t leave the bra out without packaging it back up because the glue will dry out (if it’s not covered with the plastic it comes with).

As you can tell from this post, I didn’t like it at all. I don’t like writing negative reviews, but I feel like I’ve got to save you from buying something that I found to be a scam. It didn’t work for me. It’s a rip-off. The videos you’re seeing is probably some next CGI sh*t.

Shall I tell you what else I didn’t like? The whole shopping experience. The website stated that I’d be paying for a set of three, only one arrived. [Thank God though… If three had arrived I’d be throwing them all in the bin]. What’s more, I ordered a nude coloured one but a black one was delivered… I tried it once but the adjustable strings didn’t work – I didn’t notice a difference in lift nor an increase in volume.

It may well be that my chest being small is to blame for this bra’s uselessness but I wanted to try it nonetheless – I did, and it didn’t work for me. I wasn’t happy. It cost me $19.99 and it was crap, leaving be breastless.