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For the 286th time this month (and we’re only on the 16th), I do not sell eyebrow stamps on Wowcher.

Please respect this and my inbox…

Contact Wowcher directly.

Oh, and I also feel the need to justify why I don’t sell eyebrow stamps…

My eyebrows look like what would happen if Hyde Park and the Amazon rainforest decided to lay down and reproduce on top of somebody, anybody’s brow bone.

Thanks.

You knew it was coming! If you’ve got me on Twitter, in which case, God help you and us all… You’ll know that I have been going on about Benefit’s Cheek Parade for a few days now…

I ordered it, it arrived and I unboxed it like Floyd Mayweather, ring size. Wait – did I say “size”?! Whoops! ūüô䬆I meant “SIDE”! Easy mistake… Am I right?!

So, anyway, back to Cheek Parade… All I can say is you’ll BENEFIT from it, trust me!¬†I mean, it’s no set of DONUT lights, but it’s close!

Cheek parade is a festive, cheeky looking palette that screams “SMEAR ME ACROSS ALL FOUR OF YOUR CHEEKS!” By four, I mean my two and bae’s two. What’s mine is ours and what’s his is, THEIRS –¬†probably.

Now for the serious stuff… ¬†You look three mighties FINE! If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineORANGE (and that’s just the palette)…

Back to bae, usually, he’d cost you ¬£122, but Benefit are selling him for ¬£49.99. You get five product sized blushes, highlighters and bronzers in total and all of them look like “HALLELUJAH!” in the face, structure and skeletal (cheek – and the rest) bones.

Names of the five powders: Rockateaur – ¬†which if you’ve ever woke up with foreign accent syndrome… SAY IT LOUD, SAY IT PROUD! Hoola – which, let’s not beat around 578 mulberry bushes, they’re just legit what HAWAII would look like. Dandillion, which: on other people would look fab… But, on me it’d look washed out and like I just completed a year long expedition in Antarctica; trying to save the MOLAR BEARS.

The Hoola Lite – which looks like if someone shined a TORCH on your facial region – #SEXY … and lastly, Galifornia, which – your best bet is to ask Katy Perry & Snoop Dog/Lion/Goat about that because they sung a song about its girls once. Still, the shades on that one (and the rest) is:¬†ūüėć.

One thing to note, the palette is refillable [I’m assuming] because the powders are detachable. Did mine love to jump out and caress my floor? Yes, sir/miss! Like powders, like brush… That one (too) was trying out for long jump at every opportunity; which leads us nicely onto the mirror… Mine had more product on it than inside the actual palette.

All in all, it was a good buy. I think it’s a bargain. The colours, the beauty, the price, it’s all a win:win situation. In my opinion,¬†Cheek Parade is well worth investing in, if you’re into blushers/highlighters and bronzers… Urban Decay’s NAKED 3 eyeshadow palette is the cheek equivalent to this… I primrose.

Right, thanks for reading!

If no one’s told you today, you amount to approximately 3 BILLIUN blessings, all of which are ‘hearts for eyes’ emojis (and Godly ones, observationally).