Skincare

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Ladies,

*(the picture I’ve chosen is somewhat misleading but let’s roll with it)*

I’m thinking of beginning a subscription with GLOSSYBOX

Apparently, for a £10 per month subscription, you’ll receive five premium products sent to you to try for yourself. The best part is that it’s customised for you.

I think it’s a good investment, especially for beauty bloggers or beauty product fanatics.

The only annoying thing is that I hadn’t found out about it a year or so ago! I’d have subscribed with GLOSSYBOX a long time ago if I had known.

I love my music, but I’d easily sit through the adverts on Spotify, if it meant getting five new products to blog about a month… They literally cost around the same price!

I’ve heard that although they give out sample sized products often, they also from-time-to-time send out full-sized ones! Imagine that!

I wish they done one for the lads, tbh… (or do they?)…

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If you wanted to eat Lush‘s Cupcake (and couldn’t because you shouldn’t),  you’re definitely also going to want to eat Lush’s Salted Coconut. Okay, maybe not though because I don’t know how salt consumption affects you… If you’re anything like me – which at this point (if you’re not) that’s probably a blessing –  your body and face will inflate faster than Usain Bolt can win at the Olympics.

Superbly soft skin and scrubbing go hand in hand. This creamy coconut and sea salt exfoliator is the perfect way to keep your paws in tiptop condition. Apply a generous dollop to wet hands and scrub all over or use when your hands are dry for a rougher cleanse. Sea salt is a wonderful natural exfoliant, packed full of restorative minerals to cleanse and treat the skin, whilst coconut oil deeply hydrates without making your hands sticky. Those who love the sweet smell of the outdoors will love to get stuck into this scrub – fragranced with the smell of sweet gorse.

I didn’t think I needed a hand scrub. I still don’t think I do… I get complimented for having soft hands. No, really! It’s not like I go asking people to touch up my hands for clarification, but… I have been told that I have soft hands – after a handshake! So, now that we’ve all established what my best feature is, I’ve got to keep them in tip-top condition… Hence why I purchased this bad boy!

Salted Coconut smells like a Bounty, has the consistency of Lush’s Ocean Salt and feels like it too, once washed off or absorbed in. The only difference is, it doesn’t sting like Lush’s Ocean Salt does because OS has lime juice in it.

As I touched upon above (spontaneous use of a pun), you can either wash it off or allow it to soak into your hands. I do the latter. It is pretty moisturising so it could, in essance, also be used as a hand cream…

Once people have stopped stroking my hands and telling me how soft they are, Lushies are informing me that if you’ve dry or rough hands, you’ll need a separate moisturiser. So, my advice is: pick one up along with this just in case.

They weren’t lying when they gave it the: “take your hands to paradise” slogan… #PhilCollinsWouldBeJealous

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Lush Cupcake is the next best since indulging in a Lola’s or Hummingbird Bakery’s cake in a cup…

Rhassoul mud, which is highly absorbent, works with cocoa powder to draw out all the dirt and impurities and give a deep cleanse. Fresh mint stimulates and tones the skin, whilst linseed and cocoa butter soften and moisturise. Smooth a generous layer of this mask onto your face and leave for 10 to 15 minutes.

What is Lush’s Cupcake made of? Cocoa Powder, Cocoa Butter, Mint and Rhassoul Mud. It’s basically (also nothing basic about it) like a mint-chocolate scrub-mask. So, if you’re a fan on Mint-chocolate chip ice cream (but want to abstain from eating it and would like to lather it on your face instead), you’ll have struck gold with this one!

Like most of Lush’s masks, this one is a gentle exfoliator which helps to give your skin the deep-cleanse that it needs. It’s especially good if you’re leading a city life, commuting in and around polluted areas. “Cleanse and clarify with this chocolate(y) treatment”. That’s what Lush describes it as…

Also, like its brothers and sisters, Lush’s Cupcake is a fresh face-mask (thus should be kept in the fridge). This means you’ll need to finish it in a month, before the ingredients’ sell-by and use-by dates expire.

If, in the unlikely event that you forget to finish it in time, I believe they’ll still be safe to use on your body; just don’t risk it on your face. You could also *not* try eating it. It’s got cocoa powder in it, so how bad can it be? (Don’t!)

Try it (on your face and/or body) and tell me whether or not you feel as though it’s “BANG TIDY” (in the words of Keith Lemon, who, if he won’t “see you through the week”, he’ll “see you through t’ window”).

Should I do yet ANOTHER Lush post, tonight? Yes, yes I should. Seven posts and counting… I’m not even done yet! So, don’t ever say I don’t spoil you. I do. I spoil you, like milk. Spoilt milk. (just not the bad kind, as there is always a good kind).

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Have you heard the story of Veera Ppan? No? Don’t worry, neither have I…

According to *fabricated* facts, Veera Ppan, the love of Ppeter Ppan’s life – after he grew up and hit puberty, because that was inevitable (regardless of how much he never wanted to grow up, #ThatsLife) – wanted his moustache to be in prim and proper condition, so she got on the phone to Lush, and this was born in their labs/kitchen…

Soften a little between your fingertips, then work evenly through your moustache for shape and definition. Packed with beneficial waxes and oils, including castor oil, candelillia wax, Japan wax, rose wax, and two types of sandalwood oil – your ‘tash will be slick, styled and conditioned. Featuring one of our new Volume 3 Gorilla perfumes, Smugglers Soul, this is also a great way to condition and perfume the tips of your hair.

Veerappan is a moustache wax. Gents, if you’ve ever wondered what the French men use to get their ‘taches so pointy and curly, it’s THIS. Trust me, I went to Paris and did a focus group. Every single (and in a relationship/married) man with a French moustache said Veerappan. Not even (slightly*) lying.

Borat’s illustration on the packaging is good too, no? He’s used it as well… All the way from Khazakstan! The mankini-wearing legend! #NiceToMeetYou

Anyway, wax isn’t just made for hair removal or head hair styling, it’s made for beards and moustaches too! Put that gel and spray away, pick up Veerappan. If it saved Ppeter Ppan’s relationship, it’ll save your life!

This isn’t no ordinary wax, it’s got oils in it, would you believe?! This means that it’s treating the moustache hair, and not just chemically charging it! It’s a small tin, but I’d hazard a guess that a little goes a long way. I’ll let y’all know if that’s the case in November when I’ll grow my lady moush as part of #Movember. If you can’t wait til’ then, get your wives or girlfriends to oblige. If you ask nicely, you never know…

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Gentlemen of the land,

You filthy* (but overly good-looking, stylish, and handsome lot), Lush wants you to know that you – as lovely as you are – are not invincible to BO. Just because you stand there all nonchalant with your exquisiteness doesn’t mean that you are not capable of getting dirty…

*squeaky-clean

Why not clean up with Lush’s Dirty Springwash? Two things: it’s not named appropriately because obviously after you’ve bathed or showered in it, you will no longer be dirty. Secondly, it’s not limited to Spring. It’s not going to harm you if you washed with it in the Winter, Summer or Autumn months… As long as you wash with it, it’s all good!

A shower gel to leave you feeling minty fresh and alert. Dirty Springwash leaves skin feeling invigorated – perfect after a workout at the gym. Spearmint and menthol create a tingling effect on the skin, and stimulates the mind. Thyme adds a herby note to the fresh scent.

Yeah, this is a shower gel. It’s a blue liquid. Everyone loves the colour blue, right? Even those that don’t, they’re just in denial, bless them. (not the river in Egypt).

If you don’t like blue, you will once I’ve finished with you, and sung you ‘One Love’ on repeat. #ForTheMothersPride #OneLove

This gel wakes you up, and gives a tingly sensation when applied. Look, lads, I don’t have a trunk, so I haven’t got a clue if it’ll burn your nethers. Ask someone who knows. Like, a fellow man?

If, washing your body isn’t your thing, lads, just smile (and brush your teeth), that’ll do the trick. People go weak for that. If you brush your teeth with Minty toothpaste, why don’t you use this, though? Practically the same smell and feels. Mint. #Fresh #IceCool #IceCubeWithoutKevinHart