When we think of LUSH, we automatically think that all their products smell lovely, right? Wrong. Ultrabland smells ULTRA like horse manure. I’d hazard a guess that after spending a total of 5 years scooping up pony poop – I should know what it smells like.

Alright, aside from the fact that it reeks like the extraction of our NEIGHbours, is it good? Yes. I mean, if you’re going to buy it based on the smell – don’t. However, if you’re buying it because you want to remove your make-up entirely, invest like Dragon’s Den or Lord Sugar.

Seriously. It’s so good (albeit Ul-REEK-A Jonsson’s protégé).

How do you use it? Rinse your face with water, slather it on, wipe it off with a warm, wet flannel. Then, the excess you can wash with your chosen cleanser. It’s SO good. Mascara? Gone. Eyeliner? Gone. Matte lipstick? Gone. It’s awesome.

Based on an ancient Greek formula for cold cream, Ultrabland is beautifully simple and very effective. Made with almond oil, rose water, beeswax and honey, this cleanser removes all traces of dirt and makeup, without stripping away your skin’s natural defences. Smooth over the face, any dirt will cling to the cream and you can remove it with a warm damp cloth or cotton wool.

Does it smell like roses or bees-wax? Hahahahah, Does it ‘eck! I’m sure horse toxic, lumpy exits were used to make this – but they’re trying to pass it off as wax and roses. They just wouldn’t put that as an ingredient because we wouldn’t buy it. Honestly, go smell it – even for a dare. It REEKS! 😂

Remember Phoebe from FRIENDS’ “Smelly Cat”? Well, I reckon LUSH are going to release their own rendition of her song called ‘Smelly Horse’. Ultrabland is going to be in the advert.

If Ultrabland was a Teletubby, it’d be Stinky Winky.

I enjoyed the ‘Tattoo Tagso much that I’ve decided to do another one… However, I’m now turning my attentions to Beauty..

Do you remember your first makeup item?

I actually do! I think my first makeup product was the Maybelline Super Stay 16 Hour Foundation in 300 shades too dark and about 700 layers too thick. That was Mii… Haters would say I looked like an acne-sufferer who resembled TanMom!

Describe your perfect mascara. Have you found one that fits your specifications?

I have to say that my favourite ever mascara has to be the Masterpiece Transform by MaxFactor. This one suits my lashes perfectly and to a T. It lengthens, it curls, it thickens and it darkens… I love everything about it. Even the thin wand…

What kind of coverage do you prefer from foundation?

Matte and flawless coverage – but I don’t mind if a blemish is still be visible. Also, I wouldn’t say no to a few glowing areas… However, I don’t want to look like I’ve been doing nothing but performing the act of facial perspiration all day!

Favourite high end brand?

Christian Dior. It’s one of them ones that can show all the other high-end ones the Door

What cosmetic brands have you always wanted to try but still haven’t?

Kiko Milano, Kat Von D, Shiseido, Sephora, Origins.

Favorite drugstore brand?

L’Oréal (or Bourjois). I have a thing for the Parisienne.

Do you wear fake eyelashes?

Nope. I literally can’t even contemplate fake lashes or a metal eyelash curler. My lashes are my eyes’ life… If I put glue on them to put extra lashes on, my real OGs will real COME OFF!

Is there any kind of makeup you can’t leave the house without?

I’ve left my house looking like I shouldn’t have left or that I don’t have one to leave plenty of times… So, in a word, no.

What is your most cherised beauty product?

My L’Oreal Men Expert Tattoo Reviver. I’m not even going to *tattoo* coat it… There, I said it! 😉

How often do you shop for makeup? Do you like to pick up an item here and there or get lots of goodies at once?

I shop often for makeup and food. I think makeup comes before food. I pick up items here or there and/or hoard them here or there as well. I’d buy a product, forget about it, think I’ve lost it when I remember, then find it again – out of date…

Do you have a “beauty budget” or you spend freely? 

I’m moving into my own place at the end of the year, so, no – I can’t afford to not budget.

Do you utilize coupons, rewards cards and sales when you shop for cosmetics?

Nah. I’m awful at this. I should, but I don’t. I just A) never remember to and B) don’t see the point because realistically they’re making you spend more than you need to. Having said that, one thing I do love, is my mum’s Boots’ card. 😍😍😍.

Is there a brand that you absolutely can’t stand?

If I don’t like a brand, I won’t blog about it or use its products… If I love a brand, I blog about it. If they have a product that doesn’t agree with me, I’m honest.

Do you avoid certain ingredients in cosmetics like parabens or sulfates?

There’s only so much you can actually do to prevent ingredients… I just try to use the most natural of products or products that have a high % of natural ingredients in them.

Do you have a favorite place to shop for makeup?

Boots/Superdrug. I get lost in there. Sometimes when I need Dior, I venture into Fenwick or John Lewis and can never find the exit. I mean, how does one find the exit of one of those?

Do you like trying new skincare products or do you keep a certain routine?

I love trying new ones, but I think it’s best – for my skin – to stick to a routine because I don’t want my skin to breakout again. It was awful.

Favorite bath and body brand?

L U S H. It’s, umm, LUSH.

What brand do you think has the best packaging?

Guerlain. That packaging though… Also, LANCÔME is up there too, tbh.

Which celebrity always has great makeup?

Vanessa Hudgens or Kate Middleton.

5 Favorite Beauty Gurus

What? 😆

I’m supposed to say who I look up to for makeup? Myself, I reckon I do good makeup on myself and just about no-one else. Charlotte Tilbury. HudaBeauty. Jenna Marbles (if she was to do a makeup video). My neighbours’ cat? I’m sure she’ll be good at it if I train her. 💖

Do you like multifunctional products like lip and cheek stains?

That’s like asking me if I like bidets. I love bidets.

Are you clumsy in putting on makeup?

Do you mean: “have you left dents in your eye where you pupil used to be (whilst putting on mascara)”? If so, yes.

 Do you use makeup base/primer for the eyes?

The only things I ever wear on my eye are creams, mascara and eyeliner. I can’t for the life of me (or anyone else’s) do eyeshadow. Also, I might as well own up now in saying that my eyeliner isn’t “wings and dat”… It’s more “line your waterline and on/under the lash line (with Khol) and hope for the best”.

How many hair products do you use on a typical day?

Zero. None. Nought.

What do you apply first, concealer or foundation?

Isn’t that like asking me if I pour milk into my bowl before the Coco Pops – or – if the Chicken came before the Egg?

Come on, people! What are some of these questions?! Why on God’s Earth would I put concealer before the foundation??? If you do that then I’m sorry, I’m sure it works for you but it’s just not something I’m familiar with.

Do you ever consider taking makeup classes?

The word ‘consider’ is a strong one. You could “consider” something all you want, if you really want to do it, you would. 💖

What do you love about makeup?

That I can write about it. That it gives others confidence… That it can transform people’s faces or bodies. If you think about it, makeup is really quite something.


This a story all about how I entered my bath and ended up looking like Jim Carry from The Mask… 🎶 (Fresh Prince of Bel Air probably did this tune better).

Anyway, of all the strange things to happen to me, I walked into my bath for a shower (#savage, allie?! 😱) after trying an “experiment” which claims to revert greys/whites/silvers back to your natural hair colour, but looked in the mirror to find Stanley Ipkiss staring back at me.

Nettles, rosemary and rice bran vinegar work to cleanse the skin, removing dirt and grease, leaving bright and beautifully clean skin. Chamomile blue oil and rose absolute are used for balancing skin tone. Rice bran and ground almonds will gently exfoliate the skin and when mixed with water, the almonds create a soft cleansing milk. Our chlorophyllin is extracted from alfalfa, which is rich in vitamins and minerals and is great for revitalising the skin.

Herbalism is a green, fresh cleanser that positively surprised me in how good it felt on my skin. I actually feel as though my skin has been “replenished”. Oh, yes, I’m onto adult words now! Join me here tomorrow where I’ll be mentioning words like: “stratospherically” (well fit) and “unbloodybelievably” HOW are you real and not a God? 💖

What do I love about Herbalism? The fact that it’s got chlorophyll in it. 😆 Everyone get your ‘Photosynthesis for Dummies’ books out, or AQA as they’re better known… Who loved science growing up? Tbh, I didn’t mind any subject, I enjoyed school ’cause I was a boffin (who didn’t know her gluteus maximus from her funny bone).

Even though I’ve only used it once, I’ve already noticed that Herbalism has made my skin smoother, softer and cleaner. I can always tell if a LUSH product suits me after just one use – it’s the same with their masks (which are their products 😆).

For example, their Tea Tree Toner has broken me out once before…. I later realised that this was because spots and bacteria were trapped under the skin, so LUSH’s Tea Tree Water was just bringing that to the surface.

This is a good tip to note. Obviously if you encounter a really bad reaction like burning, skin infection or discolouration – stop using whatever you’re using immediately and go to seek treatment. If not, go in to seek advice, but stop until you get it.

Finally, I love Herbalism. It’s Herbalismly Herbtastic and I Herbzard a guess that I’ll be repurchasing. Green like Kermit. Frogs are always bae on Sundays, especially this one.


If you were an apple, you’d be a fine-apple… 🍍😉 (one that wasn’t harmed in the making of LUSH’s Gorgeous, obvs)

LUSH’s Gorgeous is… just that. I don’t use it often because I got it for my mum, but I do enjoy slathering some onto my face every now and again as a refreshing treat.

Personally, I can’t really tell you much about this product because, as I said, I don’t use it a lot. However, it costs £40something — that I am aware of! 🤣

Gorgeous, as far as I know, is great for balancing the skin-tone… My mum has hyper-pigmentation sun spots, so this is good for balancing out the skin-tone, or so I’ve heard…

A light but highly effective face cream. We’ve filled this with freshly-juiced fruits, cold-pressed and organic oils to leave your skin feeling like velvet. Made fresh in small batches, we’ve used fresh pineapples, which contain enzymes to refine pores, fresh organic lemon and orange juices encouraging the skin to stay matte and to help remove dead skin cells, and orange blossom honey water to soothe and moisturise

LUSH’s Gorgeous, like most things, smells delightful… If I had to tell you what it smells like, I’d say a fruity and juicy Orange scent. I absolutely love LUSH, its products and their fragrances live up to its name, LUSH!

I’ve used it a couple of times, each of those times I’ve noticed that, like Enzymion, it dries into my skin very quickly. However, unlike Enzymion (which dries matte), this one leaves a dewy glow.

Look, it’s major expensive in comparison to the other creams I’ve bought for myself and worked well. I don’t think paying £40+ for it (if I was going to use it for myself alone) is justifiable. However, my mum’s the one who’s been using it every day, and I’ve noticed a brightness in her skin, and her dark spots are less noticeable.

I’ll be sharing her entire beauty regime soon, because I’m sure it’ll help plenty of you.


Hello, worth-itian/s! 😉

Welcome to Good Friday on Beauty Bae, where I’ll be reviewing anything and everything “Good”.

I’m virtually (and not violently) kicking things off with a review of LUSH’s ‘Let The Good Times Roll’. Who remembers the good times? Who can forget the good times? What is better than the good times? Nothing.

I have to say that, although I look like some type of LUSH Connoisseur, this is the first time I’m trying this…

My brother bought it for himself and told me about it! Oh, the shame of being a “beauty” blogger but having to be told by your own brother that you should try something…

Anyway, I tried it, and I’m now able to cast my honest (non-Robert Rinder) judgement. I rest all cases, especially the luggage ones!

‘Let The Good Times Roll’ has some pretty good ingredients in there… #BADUMTSCHHHHHHHHHHHH! Slam that symbol so hard it disjoints from the drum kit, bae! 🥁💖

This face and body cleanser is a gentle treat for the skin, leaving you soft to the touch with a buttery popcorn fragrance. Maize flour and polenta gently exfoliate, whilst cinnamon powder stimulates and leaves you feeling fresh and revived, with beautifully soft skin. This gentle yet scrubby cleanser will soothe and soften your skin, giving it a natural glow.

Maize flour is aMAIZEing on the skin by the way… It’s basically like corn starch.

Anyway, LTGTR smells like cookie dough… It’s very sweet.

Even after you wash it off and dry your face, there’s still a sweet fragrance that sticks around… That’s one of the only things I can think of that might not be to everyone’s taste. Having said that, if you want to smell like cake or biscuit batter, this is the one.

Another thing that I think might “take the biscuit” for some people is the fact that it’s a little too gentle and soft…

What I mean is, if you’re into scrubs or cleansers that are rough enough to take off dead skin and impurities but not harsh enough to damage the skin, this one isn’t for you. If that’s more your thing, you need something like Ocean Salt or Dark Angels.

On the flip side, this one is good for those who suffer with sensitive or dry skin but want their skin to look soft and moisturised.

One thing I love about brands like LUSH: they don’t test their products on animals – and only purchase ingredients from farmers who don’t test on animals. 💖