Another minute, another blog post… I promised you a night dedicated to male grooming, so this is what you’re going to get!

Kalamazoo. Gentlemen, have you ever washed your beard and face and thought: “I know what I can do with right now… A bottle of Yazoo!” Well, I think this was the inspiration behind the name.

Keep things bright and bushy with this creamy wash for furry faces. Fresh pineapple juice is full of enzymes to cleanse the skin and zap away dirt, whilst almond oil, jojoba oil and cupuaçu butter will leave your beard soft and strokeable. Simply scoop some out of the pot and massage onto your beard and face, rinse off and pat dry.

Kalamazoo has nothing to do with animals, don’t worry. It’s not named after a zoo in “Kalama”. All it is, boys, is a face-wash.  #NoBiggie unless your last name is Smalls, then… Yeah, #BiggieSmalls.

Your face-bush is going to look lovely after this… Why cut it when you can wash it? Think of the hard work your follicles have put in, lads! Hairs don’t grow on trees, you know… They grow on faces, bodies and heads! Give them (your beard and hair follicles) some lovely VIP treatment. They deserve that!

Kalamazoo gets rid of dirt, impurities, and grease (not limescale because it’s not ‘Cillit Bang’, although, the dirt IS “gone” after using this).

How do you use it? Well, you’ll be pleased to know that it’s not rocket science, so Neil Armstrong’s been given the night off and allowed me to explain it to you… You start by digging your finger tips in, as applying a generous amount all over your face and beard then rinse off. Boom. You’re a new man!

Kalamazoo and the band that released Agadoo have a lot in common… They’re partial to the odd pineapple. Yeah, go on, shake your beard (instead of tree), you know you want to! 😉


I’ve covered some Lush cosmetics products for women, but I’m conscious that I haven’t posted any for Men.

This post is dedicated to the lovely gentlemen who want to try something new, something different and are interested in what Lush has to offer. This is my first post of the night, but not my last, so keep watch for more Men’s related posts, this evening.

Lush’s Cosmetic Lad is a moisturiser to be applied after shaving. It helps calm the skin, preventing any lumps and bumps from forming. It also soothes the skin, protects against redness, heals shaving cuts, and reduces skin sensitivity.

This moisturiser is ideal for calming razor-sore skin with its aloe vera and lavender honey water. Honey is an antiseptic, while aloe vera and lavender water soothe the skin. They are ably assisted by the lovely (African) Marigold, which has anti-redness powers. We’ve added fresh wheatgrass juice, which contains an antioxidant to shield the skin from damage. Tangerine and sandalwood essential oils give it a deep and refreshing scent.

The natural ingredients used means that it not only softens the skin, soothes it, and replenishes it, but it also moisturises it too (without looking greasy).

Aloe-Vera, it’s me… I’ve been wondering if after all these years, you’d like to meet? Yes, that’s right, Aloe-Vera makes an appearance in this cream, along with wheatgrass, marigold, honey and lavender water. Tangerine (not the one across the Pond) as well as Sandalwood essential oils (not sandals made of wood) are added into the mix to further add to its gloriousness.

A little FYI: although it’s called “Cosmetic Lad”, and it’s specifically targeted at men and shaved skin, ladies can use it too. Especially those who do laser hair removal and/or suffer from excessive hair-growth brought on by PCOS (Polycystic Overies Syndrome). You could also shave your legs with it.


What kind of Holy water is this? Genuinely, the amount of times I’ve heard about Micellar Water and thought it was something you could drink (before starting this blog)…

Obviously, now that I’m a fully fledged beauty blogger (who knows absolute sod all about 95% of beauty products but writes about them then hopes for the best), I feel like I’m entitled to pass judgement.

I bought it from a shop (not a pharmacy) on my way home and thought I’d give it a try as I’ve become increasingly tired of using make-up wipes. If you read my Waitrose cucumber wipes post, you’ll know they’ve really been stinging my eyes recently.

Garnier’s Micellar Cleansing Water is apparently used by sensitive skin sufferers and made from natural ingredients, the water of Micellar – which is a mixture of Hexylene, Glycol, and Glycerine and who host of other God knows whats – to name just one (and only one). It can’t be that bad, can it? I mean, it’s Garnier after all! I’m sure if I’d tried a lot more Garnier products earlier, I’d have loved them!

It claims to “remove dirt, impurities and makeup”. Whether it removed dirt or impurities, I don’t know because my face has never – as far as I know – looked dirty or impuritie(d), so I wouldn’t know what I’d be looking for…

Makeup? Yes, it removed my cheek, chin, forehead, nose and top lip makeup pretty well… In terms of whether it was “soothing”, it felt soothing but I don’t have any pores or inflamed breakouts that need soothing at the moment (touch wood!) so, again, I can’t comment…

My skin is somewhat sensitive and this is specifically targetted at the sensitive-skin type so I agree that I haven’t noticed a redness or an irritancy since applying. I’ll follow up with an update tomorrow though (or over the next few days) just to be sure.

Okay, overall I do feel as though my face is cleaner and more soothed since trying it. I applied it on my face using cotton  pads, and as I said, it took the majority of my make-up off. But, I don’t know what kind of bionic, invincible eye make-up I have been wearing of late (the same Kajal eyeliner from Maybelline and They’re Real mascara from Benefit) but MY GOD! They just seem stay on and hang in there for dear life! What am I supposed to wash my eyes with to get rid of them entirely? 😭The most ridiculous thing about this idiocy of a situation that I’ve been finding myself in is that I haven’t even been wearing heavy eye-makeup like I usually do. However my flannel/face towel still gets black marks all over it! What is this sorcery?

Also, for a product that claims to be for “sensitive skin”, it’s apparently stung some people’s eyes like a… BEE(ch)! I don’t see how though because it doesn’t contain perfume.

Would I buy it again? Probably. I do think that if I was being honest though, I found it too over-hyped for the results it gives. I mean, it didn’t remove all of my eye makeup… That’s one of the main reasons why I wanted to try it. But, I’ve got to say that it didn’t sting me like Waitrose’s wipes did! So, that’s a result in itself I think…

It’s good, yes, but I wouldn’t write home about it if I emigrated to Australia on a foreign exchange student trip or something like that…

Jessica Alba and Kylie Jenner 

What in “blue blazes” (Happy belated #AustraliaDay) are those collagen lip jelly masks that I’ve been hearing about? 😱

They’re like a mask (for the lips) packed with collagen which claim to be lip-plumping and  lift the contours of our lips so that they appear bigger, fuller and more poutier.

YouTubers and Instagrammers alike have been upping the ante on promoting them, sharing videos of them trying it out and now it’s gone viral (less of an infection, more of an Internet sensation).

I haven’t tried the “lip jellies” personally but the results which I have seen look incredible. However, I’m not sure if it’s a trick of a Photoshop switch and a marketing ploy by celebs / non-celebs or if they actually work… Either way, it’s pretty impressive!

Why am I sceptical about whether they work on not? I say this because I purchased a Fullips lip enhancer, which worked, but it still didn’t give the results I saw on YouTube from others… Maybe I didn’t use it right or maybe my lips aren’t suitable for the one which got delivered (as there are various sizes), but I’m not sure… I did notice a difference at first, but now that a year or so has passed since using it, I have to say that I have since become underwhelmed with the result.

I now rely on over-lining my lips with matte liquid lipsticks as I don’t want my lips to get bruised nor swollen. All I really want is a fuller pout.

Truthfully, I’m not sure if I’ll be purchasing the lip jellies… I might do for fun, to test them out on here, but I’m torn. I may just note the ones I’ve heard of, embed the videos of results and do a bit of research on other people’s views. That’s what I might do, it’ll be more of a feature than a review, so keep an eye, nose or cheek out.

EOS: Coconut Milk Lip Balm

This is another highly celebrity endorsed product that I have been wanting to review for the longest time…

I finally have been able to because it’s Winter, and in Winter, we all need a celebrity endorsed sphere lip balm which costs £6 but is so small that that you can eat it in less than one mouth full (not that you would because it goes on the lips not inside them). Am I right?

I purchased EOS‘ (Evolution of Smooth) Coconut Milk. I’m not going to lie to you, the only other reason I bought it (other than wanting to see what all the fuss was about) was that it claims to be Organic. I love Organic produce, I try to use as much Organic things as possible, especially in my meals.

Get noticed with visibly softer lips. Nourish your lips and enjoy the delicious flavor of this coconut milk lip balm!

The packaging of EOS Lip Balm sphere? As small as it is, there’s no denying it’s unique, and cute. The Coconut Milk one came in a pale pink sphere which was sweet.

The scent? Delicious. Like Coconut Milk which is expected because I purchased a Coconut Milk lip balm… 😂 Imagine if it came smelling like Chicken. I’d send it back or deliver it to the ‘Pengest Munch’ and self-titled: ‘Chicken Connoisseur’ to review! It’s hardly “roadman” worthy, but it’ll do…

Taste? 😋 I wanted to eat it in one sitting. But, the cost, along with the fact that it’ll never fill me up, had me abstaining!

The result? Your bog standard lip balm. Yes, the ingredients – as far as I know – are organic, but the results are not extra-terrestrial or noticeable. What I mean is, no one has stopped me in the street to tell me that my lips look “Organic”. My friends don’t say: “Oh wow! Your lips felt a special kind of Organic on my cheeks, you wearing EOS?” when I go to give them a little peck. I’m not denying that my lips didn’t feel soft afterwards, but isn’t that the main purpose of a lip balm? You wouldn’t buy a lip balm if it said it’ll make your lips dry and coarse, would you?

Price? LOL. Just, LOL. (and I’m not talking Miley Cyrus’ – who has endorsed EOS on her Insta – film). £6 for a tiny pot of lip balm which hydrated as much as a Vaseline tin would. Do the maths!

Is it work six “squids”? If it weren’t for its “organic” claim, I’d have said no. It’s too small and doesn’t hydrate my lips any more than a usual lip balm that I could get for a pound or two. Vaseline is cost-effective and works better. But, then, you’re not buying into a celebrity endorsed product when you purchase a tin of petroleum jelly. 😂

The moral of this post is: just ’cause it’s endorsed, that doesn’t mean that it’s an exceptional product for its price… Although, as I said, I suppose you’re buying into the brand and Organic produce which makes up for it, I suppose…

Look – it works, I just expected a little more from it. Remember, celebrities most probably don’t use this every day! Don’t forget that they have enough money to get laser lip treatments (if such things exist) if they wanted!