Real Issues That Affect Us

heatwave UK

Hey guys,

I just wanted to chuck out a quick post on anxiety. Look, you might read my Twitter, Facebook and blog thinking that I’m a really happy person all of the time, wrong. I’m not always happy. Some days, like today, I get down and depressed/anxious – sometimes, like today, for no reason at all…

For me, I think it’s the weather. Today was really rainy, grey and dull. It looked super depressive and overcast.

Anxiety can strike at any moment and comes in a range of extremes. You can’t really plan it, but you can definitely notice the signs. If you notice the signs before it’s too late, you can prevent a meltdown.

What are the signs?

1) palpitations and uneasiness – when your heart starts racing or beating faster and you can feel in yourself that there’s a sort of emptiness or weird feeling coming over you.

The way to counteract those is through breathing techniques and trying to find out exactly what it is that’s causing the uneasiness. Could it be that you’ve changed something in your routine? Had something on your mind? Drank or taken something that you wouldn’t usually take? For instance, I was on a really bad concoction of weight loss supplements, and that spurred on severe anxiety a couple of years ago.

2) racing thoughts – do your thoughts run at a million miles per hour, forcing your head to overheat?

The way to stop this from happening is by doing a mindfulness podcast. There are great podcasts that calm the nerves. You can find them online.

3) bad/negative feelings – these are just feelings that you’re going to have to let pass. Some days are just not our days. Those feelings are an indication of that, if and only if it carries on for longer than normal, seek medical help. You can get referred to the psychologist or a counsellor. You can also get a prescription for antidepressants or tranquilizers. What I will say though is – don’t rely on them. It’s not healthy or safe to get used or addicted to them.

4) hyper sensitive to noise and emotions – this one is a tough one to get rid of because first you’ve got to establish what it isn’t that’s causing the hyper-sensitivity, then you’ve got to try to avoid the places or situations that bring it on. That’s hard. Especially when you don’t know why the heck you’re feeling anxious in the first place. I mean, if there’s nothing that you can put your finger on, nothing going on to make you feel that way; it could just be a hormone or emotional imbalance that’s passing through. Let it.

Seriously, the only way to beat anxiety is to know that there’s a better day awaiting you in tomorrow. The precise moment that anxiety strikes might not be for you, but tomorrow will be. Don’t dwell, don’t think about it too much. Distract yourself. Watch something hysterical, do something you enjoy, be with the people who make you laugh/happy. Life’s too short for anything else.

Alternatively, just speak to a friend or friends who you can trust and you know won’t judge. If you’re spiritual, a prayer or meditation helps too. The main thing is to not let it get you down, or worse than you are already feeling.

Remember, it’s a phase, it’ll pass and what you’re stressing about (if anything at all) will be a distant memory or not even one come next year. It’s really not that deep.

Enjoy every moment, and try to find the positive of the anxiety. The fact that you’re able to notice that you’re anxious is a huge plus. Trust me when I say there are people who don’t realise it until it’s too late. They don’t even the right tools to deal with it so the healing process takes longer. Don’t let that be you. Don’t be ashamed of anxiety either. Only the greats get anxious.

Anxiety occurs in people who are hyper sensitive and caring. Granted that being hyper-sensitive might not be perceived in society as a good thing, but at least you’ve got feelings. I have too much of them. Sensitivity is a massive turn on. Also, who doesn’t want to be caring?! It’s the nicest trait ever (equal with being funny).

The important thing is that whatever it is, don’t bottle it up. Speak to someone. Do something about it. Mental health is the most important of the health. It affects the rest of our organs, so make sure it’s been well treated, well fed (in thoughts). Keep it positive. A smile is of most importance. Keep smiling, even when you really don’t feel like it. Your mind will get tricked into releasing serotonin and endorphins that are responsible for making us happy.

Finally, the trick is to make yourself feel happy, even if you might not feel it during times of anxiety and depression. It’s easy for us to crack when we hit an all time low, but remember that you can only go up from there. Try to make a strength from your weaknesses without adding unnecessary pressure.

That’s all I wanted to say. If you ever need a chat, you know where I am. X

Hey guys,

Here is my life’s musing blog post… I don’t even know how this is going to pan out nor how to write a ‘life’s musings’ post, but I’ll give it my best shot!

I want to discuss a few things that I have learned this year… I have to say that this year has been the biggest for me in terms of reflection. I have learned things I never knew, and grown as a person in such a way that I feel ready for my Level 26 (in three months).

“What’s meant for you won’t pass you.”

This one was the biggest lesson and has proven the ultimate. The saying above means that no matter what happens, you will always end up on the road that you are destined for. Whether we’re talking about career, health, love etc. everything that is destined for us will be ours…

Do you know the amount of times I pondered or worried about things – only to realise that there was legit no reason to do so whatsoever? I always worried that I’d not end up where I needed to be, but looking back, I realise it’s the stupidest thing! You always do. Everyone always does.

Sure, we go through things along the way, but by hook or by crook we arrive at our destination. Then again, it isn’t even our destination, but the destination that our spiritual guides have planned for us.

“What’s gone is gone.”

Why are you flogging a dead horse? Don’t. Quit that. What we need to understand is that everything happens for a reason. People meet us on our path for a purpose and a duration of time. If the chapter has ended, don’t go back and read it, no matter how good it might have been… Move on. Let it go.

Only we are permanent and our families (husband/wife or blood relatives) when TLC’d. Even spouses and blood relations need nurturing. Those relationships need to be nurtured. You need to dedicate your time/effort and communicate regularly and effectively. That’s the only way to keep those going.

Right – now for the good part… Relationship advice. From a single person i.e. ME. Good luck!

  • Really take time to get to know your significant other, taking part in stuff they enjoy, and not complaining about it.

The not complaining part is the biggest teacher here. Honestly, just relish in the quality time that you’re spending with them. Don’t complain.

  • Do whatever s/he asks of you with a smile 

By “do whatever s/he asks”, I don’t mean if s/he’s possessive or controlling… What I mean is, all of the intimate stuff, the stuff that make them happy. Do that to please them.

  • Take it in turns to share house duties

If you live together, you can even do house duties (domestic stuff) together… Share the load. It’s bonding and you’ll grow together as a couple.

  • Don’t call or text or be clingy when they’re out

I’m not someone who texts or calls someone a lot anyway, but I think this one is one that may help you… If your wo/man is on a night out, don’t call or text them. Wait for them to text first. When s/he texts/calls, that’s a sure fire sign that s/he’s missing you. Obviously they’re missing you even if they don’t, at that time they’re just busy or spending time with their people. Remember: having separate outings are healthy for the relationship. Sometimes, spending too much time together can be detriment.

Be respectful of their views; learning the difference between a disagreement and an argument… 

This one is SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY! I cannot stress enough the importance of knowing the difference between a disagreement and an argument… Just because you simply don’t agree on something, that doesn’t warrant a domestic and/or a full blown row! A disagreement is when you have different views on a particular topic, while an argument is usually a shouting match over something petty or complex (neither of which include clashing viewpoints). If they support Theresa May and you support Jeremy Corbyn, that is NOT an argument. That, right there, is a disagreement.

  • Have regular date nights

Spending time together is important. If you’re not doing that, again, are you even together? Look, we all know that being together long-term means that the initial spark is at risk of being lost. Well, what if I told you that regular date nights keeps it burning? The reason that spark is lost is because people stop doing the stuff they did to win their significant other over. Yeah, ‘work’ and ‘kids’ are all good excuses, but they’re not always valid. There are ways to work around things. Get a babysitter.

  • Focus on the little things, they’ll one day become the big things

There’s a pattern forming here… That pattern is having good attention to detail and just being fully attentive. Really focus on the little things that they do, and not taking any of them for granted. You’ll look back and realise how important it all was.

  • Stick by each other even if you don’t agree with some of the stuff they do

Advising someone about something they’ve done and mentioning how you’d have done it differently is better than scolding them for it (alone or in front of others). Well, it depends – if it was proper offensive then okay, scold them (in private), but then again, why would you get with someone who’s offensive, anyway?!

The worst thing you can do is argue with your man/lady in front of others. Also, don’t run to people after an argument. It clouds their view on the person. Best thing to do is talk it out with your significant other after, to clear the air. If it’s still bothering you, ask for a second opinion. Remember to keep some things private, others don’t need to know everything.

  • Learn the difference between private and secret

Everyone is going to be in a relationship/marriage at some point. It’s no secret (unless you’re a bigamist, in which case, what’s YOURS?! I can’t even get ONE FFS! 😂). Be private about your love life but not secretive. Don’t be one of those couples that posts a selfie a day and shows off what “bae has got” you for Christmas/Valentine’s Day. I can tell you now, NO ONE CARES!

  • Laugh together

This one’s self explanatory… Laughter is the best medicine. Do that shizz and sprinkle it everywhere like fairy dust. It’s FREE. Doesn’t cost a thing, much like Jenny from the block’s (and my) LOVE.

  • Communicate

Talk. A lot. All the time or as much as possible, It’s vital. Relationships are built on communication mostly.

  • Trust/Honesty

You’ve got to trust each other and be honest with one another form the get-go or else: what are you doing?

  • Planning

Planning stuff is vital. It strengthens and prolongs the relationship. Plan stuff together and most importantly: do them together.

  • Go on holiday

Apparently, you can find out if they’re ‘the one’ by going on a holiday with them (prior to living together). If you can stand to spend every day (for however long you go on holiday), then you’re made for each other. Congratulations.

The things you should take away from this post: don’t nag, don’t complain, argue or point score and don’t be too clingy when they’re out with other people (or in general)… Also, don’t be over jealous/zealous. Yeah, a little bit of jealousy is healthy, but if you’re going to be giving waitresses daggers just because they asked to take their order, in all honesty – you need help.

Understand that relationships aren’t traps, well, they shouldn’t be… If they don’t want to be with you, they should have that choice (as harsh as it sounds). In this case, the key is loving them enough to know that sometimes, things don’t always work out as we first thought…

Finally, balance and the importance of having your own things going on outside of the relationship. Don’t change once you go exclusive. Keep those hobbies and your personality. The worst thing you can do is lose the person that they fell in love with in the beginning. Loads of couples break up because one of them changes, no longer being the person the other fell for.

There you go, these tips will help you (I hope). If you’ve got any other tips to keep a relationship, friendship or anything else going, comment me.

Peace, love and tranquility,

Miamii

😘

(if you’re wondering how I’m still single after reading this post, your guess is as good as mine).

I want to thank inamessyworld.wordpress.com for awarding all of the blogs that they follow (including Beauty Bae) the Real Neat Blog award. Here’s my message to inamessyworld, the world can’t be too messy if you’ve just won a NEAT award. 😉

Anyway, thanks for the nomination and I’ll get cracking with answering your questions as best but probably ‘worst’ – knowing me (knowing you, HAHA 😆🎶)!

Right, first, let’s discuss the discussting rules:

1) tag/link The Nominator, ’cause they’ll “be BACK!” Arnold, is that you?

2) Thank them profusely.

3) Mention these rules.

4) Answer the questions they asked (to the best of your ability).

5) Come up with questions of your own…

6) Keep this chain going by nominating others, linking them into the post.

7) Tell your nominees about the fact that you nominated them, or don’t – ain’t nobody going to tell you what to do!

So, without further ado, much ado about LOTS OF THINGS! Here goes EVERYTHING:

What made you start blogging?

I’d like to say that I wasn’t a complete and utter nerd who knew how to code basic HTML into web servers at the age of 13, but – I can’t… I was. I loved writing, I loved web design and I loved the idea that I can write and people can read it from all over the world. Not much has changed on that front.

What would you change about yourself?

I wouldn’t have these nasalobial creases or lines at the age of 25, FFS! Do you know the length of time I take out of my day to not blog, not eat, not work and not tweet – just do FACIAL YOGA?! I mean, if I wasn’t rendered undatable before, I sure as HECK don’t look datable when I’m massaging/applying acupressure on my own face or suppressing air in my cheeks like a chipmunk.

What are your aspirations?

My aspirations are to meet bae, get married, have a couple of kids, and just live past my life expectancy. Ain’t asking for much, am I? I obviously have career aspirations, like crawl up that ladder like a baby learning to walk for the first time and/or further establishing myself as a journo – but, I’m in control of that. I am my own leader in that. The rest is fate and God’s work.

What has been your biggest struggle?

Real. The struggle is: REAL. Mick taking aside, I’m sure I hvs plenty of struggles, I just really don’t have time to A) list them all or 2) think about them. They are struggles and I’m able to overcome them.

Also, if I’ve yet to take a Mick that you know, leave their details in the comments section. I’ll be holding Mick-Taking auditions in a theatre near you to see who’ll qualify…

If you could choose one celebrity to have dinner with, who would it be?

Hmm, definitely the funniest person to exist… The founder of Klingon Klangton.

Name one thing you fear:

Being a 70 year old virgin. 🙈😂🤣😩 I mean, there’s a film about a 40 year old one but ain’t nobody reached senior level and still not got ‘it’ – other than Nuns, of course! 🙏

Your favourite song?

Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye… Yeah, okay… Calm down! Before you ask, no, I’m not entirely sure what this means… But, I do know that I’m NOT frustrated! I have self-control and standards, thanks. I want ‘The One’ not EVERYONE.

My questions to my nominees:

What do you look for when reading/following other blogs?

Where do you like to be professionally/personally in 5 years time?

Why did you choose to specialise in the subject that you’re currently blogging about?

In what ways does your blog inspire those who read its posts?

What do you think is your best trait?

Would you consider video-blogging (if you don’t do it already)? If you do, list three things you love most about your vlog.

Mention three of your favourite bloggers/vloggers and explain your reasons why they inspire you.

How would you know if you’ve ‘made it’?

* why is Bae such an absolute SPICE?! 😍 Just, leave me here to swoon like a swan at his EVERYTHING. Legitimitisly.

My nominees:

Everyone who reads this and wants to get involved… I’ll probably mention a few of you in a tweet (to nominate you personally) too.

Podcast

Today, I checked the Instagram Story of Sara Asiya, one of my favourite Instagram personalities. She is the funniest lady I’ve come across in a while, I love her. However, sadly, she constantly is faced with negative feedback and her feeds are no stranger to negative comments and is becoming a hub trolls.

Today, she broke down LIVE on Instagram. It broke me. I know that this stuff happens, but I think seeing the affects first hand really messed me up.

The media is notorious for spreading the message that women are “too big” or “too thin” and what the “perfect” body/face shape is, so the last thing we need is some troll that has nothing better to do with their time than hurt and offend people. There’s a difference between banter and disrespect.

I do not stand for it, and I do not condone it. Listen to what I’ve got to say below…

This is my open letter to the voters. You, yes you

Fact:

Voting is actually a luxury. There are countries that prohibit their citizens from voting… Citizens in some countries are oppressed and have to watch a leader they don’t want go into power and are helpless in their societies. So, if there was no other reason for you to vote – let this be reason…

The United Kingdom sees voting as a right to those over a certain age. Use this right, dont abuse it!

Voting is free and is a way for you to get your voice heard, a chance to have your needs (and your society/community’s needs) met. Don’t waste it!

Your choice:

When choosing a name to cross on your ballot, make sure you are completely certain and understand what’s at stake.

Read their manifestos, watch their Question Time responses and decide based on what benifits you and the wider community.

Look, although there’s plenty of austerity and barbarianism that’s going on in this day and age, the ability to vote shows that not all hope is lost. There is a way to combat this treachery, by choosing the right candidate for PM…

If you can hold your head up high, knowing your reasons for the candidate you’ve voted for, you’ve won. No one can take that from you.

Yes, absolutely a vote is for the benefit of the many and not the few – so choose correctly. Be selfish in your vote but also spare a thought for the aftermath.

Remember:

Whatever the result, you’ve done all that you can. You visited your local Polling Station, put a cross in a box that matters most, handed it in, and walked out with pride.

If you’re a young person and this is your first time voting, you rock! The world needs you (and more of you). Honestly, be proud of the fact that you registered and you voted. This is something that you’ve had a hand in changing. You contributed to the outcome. Kudos.

Things nobody wants to hear tomorrow:

“I didn’t vote but the right/wrong person won” – vote. If the right person won, great. But, you could’ve been that extra % that edged it that little bit further. If the wrong person won, that’s probably your fault because you chose not to vote. So, shame of you really…

“I voted for them thinking the other party would win.” Fuck off. Seriously, just fuck right off! If this was a bet on the dogs at the bookies, would you put all of your life savings on the wrong dog for a laugh (when in your heart of hearts you knew they’d lose)? No, didn’t think so…

Voting is a risk, granted, but it takes only one person to change our community, and you’re it.

Logistics:

“Should I use the pencil provided or bring a pen?” Take a pen with you if you’d feel more comfortable. I will be. Either way, whether you voted in pen/pencil, you still voted. Pen marks can be crossed out just as easily as pencil marks can be erased. It is NOT illegal to vote in pen.

Who should you vote for today?

It should be easy… If you don’t know, just vote for the one that has the LEAST CONS to offer. You’ll find the answer to that on a maternity ward… Rhymes with Harbour.

My vote?

I stand with the National Security & Emergancy Services, I stand with the NHS, I stand with education, the social housing/social care, I stand with the majority. I am voting for a better future, a somewhat safer one.