Nutrition

Banana Bread

I had banana bread for lunch the other day, and it reminded me that I know of a really tasty recipe that I’ve yet to post up, so – here it is…

Before we get into it, I need to confess that my mother’s potential reincarnation to human (from monkey) may be the reason why I love bananas so much. She adores them, I adore her. It’s that simple. She eats bananas like I do sushi.

Without further ado… (Much ado about everything)…

In the ‘gred’ of ‘ients’:

  • 2 large eggs after Michael Jackson has finished with them… #Beaten
  • 70 grams of a naughty pack of almonds which you’ve been forced to ground #ThugLyf
  • 70 grams flour that did a Mowgli from the Jungle Book (and raised itself)
  • 2 large ripe bananas, so ripe!
  • 140 grams of ‘butter me up’ butter

The Methodone programme (as seen on Jezza):

  1. Turn up the heat of your oven to approximately (or exactly) 180C/160C fan/gas mask 4. Yes, I said mask. #DarthVader
  2. Butter up a loaf tin and line the base and sides with baking parchment (also known as heat-proof paper).
  3. Mix the butter and sugar until creamy, light and fluffy. Now, like a sloth – slowly start add the eggs and gradually include flour.
  4. Fold (your arms) in the remaining flour, ground almonds, baking powder and bananas.
  5. Transfer the mixture from your bowl and into the tin, baking for approximately 30 mins or until a skewer comes out clean.
  6. Remove from oven and leave to cool in the tin.

That’s literally it.

For extra garnish, feel free to add toasted almonds and drizzle some runny icing (icing sugar and 3tsp water). This’ll be sure to turn it into a DELICIOUS Banana & Almond drizzle cake.

Although I don’t have an image of it yet, I’ve posted one that is very similar. As you can see, they’ve opted to garnish theirs with banana chips. I wanted to add almonds because banana and almond make for a perfect, tasty match. Much like me and bae.

Salmon

Tonight has been one of the busiest nights, ever! I actually didn’t get home until about 8pm, and I’ve been cooking/eating/blogging since I arrived. I left work at around 5 and went in search of fresh tuna steaks… I couldn’t find any (fresh ones).

I checked Iceland because one branch in particular was the closest…

I’m sorry but their ones looked like they’ve been there since my date of birth.

Also, I know they’re a supermarket called ‘Iceland’ but I wasn’t expecting everything to look like it’s literally been in a freezer for 76 and a half years…

I mean, come on! There’s being a frozen food store and then there’s selling icebergs in the shape of food! The one I was in today was the latter.

Imagine trying to defrost the produce from my one in particular… You’d be standing next to your microwave/oven for seven centuries and a few decades (at the very least)…

Mums go to Iceland‘??? Yeah, maternal ESKIMOS!

However, I do want to make a point that Iceland does stock the best desserts and Ice cream. What’s more, I’m sure their packaged foods are great too – I’ve just not been impressed with their seafood selection thus far. Having said that, I did see some lobster tails and scallops that I thought looked like they should be in the mouth and down the hatch.

Anyway, back to my quest for fresh tuna  – which in case you can’t keep up, there wasn’t any fresh, tasty looking ones in Iceland. I then went to the local co-op, didn’t Get Lucky in there either…

Look, in hindsight, I could’ve easily searched the high road for a fishmonger, but it was 7ish (and I needed bladder relief) – ain’t no fishmonger gonna have fresh fish that late. Yes, I could’ve gone to Billingsgate but then again, no – no I couldn’t. 😭

I keep going off on tangents, sorry! So, somehow I ended up buying Sockeye salmon fillets to make instead… This is proof of that world famous saying: “if at first you don’t tuna, try a Sockeye salmon gain”. 

God only knows where the name ‘Sockeye’ derived from. Whether or not the fisherman who discovered this very fish realised a sock had been ‘pon its eye and thought: “let’s call it sockeye”, we may never know…

The recipe is as follows (like Twitter):

  • Coconut oil
  • Sesame seeds
  • Sockeye Salmon
  • Cayenne Pepper

What to do when you’re B(eing) Q(ute):

Spread coconut oil all over the fillet, sprinkle cayenne pepper together with the sesame all over (front and back). Leave the salmon to grill itself in the pan, on a medium heat for approximately 4mins (each side).

You can flip the salmon (like a savoury and nothing to do with batter pancake) using a spatula. Hands up who likes spatulas the normal amount that anyone should?  🙌

Oh, before I forget (not that I could because it’s in the picture), I added a handful of mixed nuts, a cheese stuffed mini pepper and and an artichoke “on a bed of” leafy greens. Masterchef, come GET ME!

Finally, my mum makes grilled plantain and a special chilli sauce (also seen in the picture – the sauce).

The recipe for mum’s chilli sauce (I assume) is plum tomato, endless amounts of scotch bonnet chills and finely chopped onions..? Don’t quote me on it though.

Mum, if you’re reading this, I apologise profusely for either getting your recipe completely wrong or giving away your chilli sauce  recipe secret (if it’s right).

But, I’m sure She Doesn’t Mind.

I feel a bit weird doing a Nando’s review approximately 15 years since I had my first – but let’s go with it…

Nando’s, is the place where all the nans, their kids, grandkids, and great grandkids go. Everyone goes to Nando’s. In fact, you don’t have to have a nan to go with… You can go with your man, drive a van, or just turn up with your mate Jan, who’s a fan.

I love Nando’s. The food, the sauces, the ambiance (not ambulance, although – if you try a spice too hot and aren’t accustomed to it, you might need one).

PERi PERi Sauce

My favourite Nando’s sauce has to be the Pomegranate dressing. It’s not spicy, it’s just bae. Also, Nando’s NEW(ish) Vusa sauce is apparently hotter than the Extra Extra Sauce (the black bottle) but, umm, I don’t know if my mum made love to a Scotch Bonnet the night she got preggers with me, I just didn’t find it “too spicy”. However, it is DELICIOUS! I’d have it on everything.

Nando's

What do I have when I go there? Aside from the Halloumi, Hummus Dip, Sweet Potato Wedges and Chicken (what it’s most famous for)? The Quinoa salad. It’s got my absolute every favourite ingredients… Chicken, Quinoa, Chick Peas, Avocado, and Greens. I have to admit I’m not big on Feta – so I choose to have the salad without. I do get a side of Halloumi though.

If you find yourself in South Africa (where it originates) or Portugal, pop down and try it from the HOME of Nando’s. Alternatively, do a Mii and travel as far as your local high road, in the UK, for a CHEEKY one! You’ll never regret it. It’s actually the most delicious way to have chicken. Grilled. Charred.

Finally, this is a special announcement – I’m obsessed with the Wing Roulette. It’s a safer, non muderous version of Russian Roulette. Instead, you’re sacrificing your tastebud (if too much spicy/heat isn’t your thing). BAE. B A E. U are B-A-E, Nando’s.

I was a pesky pescatarian when I was at Uni, wasn’t I? Yes, I was. My Uni was in Ealing and there were a number of good sushi places around, so I got accustomed to the consumption of fish like it was tap water.

If you know me, you know I love to cook. I’m in no way a Nigella, probably more a younger Mrs. Doubtfire (who’s yet to set the kitchen or her non-existent big fabric breasts on fire)…

This is a recipe for two. If you have a S/O who enjoys salmon, this’d be a nice treat! It’s so easy and quick to do, you’ll honestly love it – if you love Vietnamese food or anything authentic.

  • 25g (1oz) piece fresh ginger, peeled and thinly sliced
  • 1 tbsp fish sauce (or stock?)
  • ½ tsp sugar
  • 1 tsp fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 tsp crushed garlic (you wouldn’t want to wear cloves on a night out)
  • 2 salmon fillets
  • Spring onions to decorate

Combine the marinade ingredients in a bowl (fish sauce/stock, sugar, lemon juice, garlic, pepper and ginger), add the salmon, then use a pastry brush to spread the marinade evenly over it. Cover the now marinated fish in tin-foil or cling film and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

If you’re planning on cooking this outside, grill the salmon on a BBQ for about seven minutes each side. Alternatively, cook in a preheated oven at 200°C/400°F/gas mark 6 for eight to 12 minutes.

Finally, scatter the spring onion over the salmon before serving. Devour. 😋

Happy Easter

Happy Easter LoveBunnies! 😉

I thought I’d come online quickly and write up a ‘Cook/Bake with Mii‘ post, because why the heck not?!

Here are a list of a few things (non-chocolate related) I’d recommend you make, bake and eat during the Easter weekend…

Boiled eggs

My current addiction. You know how to make boiled eggs right?! 😆

  1. Eggstreamly good eggs
  2. “WAT?!”er
  3. “(Hot) Sauce in your PAN, boil!”
  4. A hob(knob) ‘pon the cooker

Bisch, basch, BOSCH (the probable brand of your oven)!

Pop the eggs in the saucepan, pour the water over them until covered, then sprinkle some salt and boil.

When your saucepan starts looking less like a saucepan and more like an explosive scientific experiment, that’s your cue to take it off.

Hot Cross Buns

A traditional treat… We all love a Hot Cross Bun, don’t we? I love mine dipped in maple syrup or honey for an even sweeter taste.

Do you want a recipe for them? Of Kors you do!

  • 175g mixed dried fruit (loops)
  • 1 ORANGE, zest (for life)
  • 7g sachet of fast-action dried yeast(er)
  • 175g cast-er-vote ✅ sugar
  • 300ml semi-skimmed milk, warm, plus 1 tbsp milk to glaze (milk it for all it’s worth-it 😉💖) 
  • 600g (“flour game) strong” white bread flour
  • tsp mixed spice (at this point, you could even sprinkle some PERi-PERi salt) 😍
  • ½ tsp ground cinnamon (“Ahoy! Cinna-mon-timbers!”)
  • whole nutmeg, to grate (you may want to spare your nutty friend Meg though cos she weren’t to blame for the boogie).
  • 75g unsalted butter, softened, plus 1 tbsp melted butter (BUT- BUTTER! Not marge, not lard — BUTTER!)
  • medium free-range egg, good yolks only (the ones that cause an abundance of “hahahaha”s)
  • 50g plain flour (wallflowers are best)

Mix together the dried fruit and ORANGE zest (for life) in a bowl(aroid). Set aside, collaborate and listen. Put the Yeast(er) in a jug(gernaut) with 15g caster sugar (lumps). Pour over 4 tbsp warm milk and leave to foam (like Colgate) for 5 minutes.

In a food processor, pulse the flour (like every time I see bae’s selfies, I eat my own ones – pulsate), 110g caster sugar, a pinch (not punch 👊 though cos we’re mid-month) of salt, the mixed spice, cinnamon, a good grating of nutmeg (Nutty Meg at it again, can’t take her ANYWHERE!) and the softened butter until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs (K-Leeds to the FC). 💖

Tip into a large bowl and make a well (try throwing a new pound coin in and making a wish) in the centre. Pour in the yeast mixture and most of the remaining milk. Mix to a sticky dough, adding more milk if needed.

Tip on to a floured surface and knead for 8-10 minutes, until smooth and elastic (hopefully not like my hair was when I went blonde).

Add the dried fruits and zest mixture and knead (again?! How “kneady” is this bread?!) until combined. Put in a lightly oiled bowl, cover with oiled clingfilm and leave in a warm place to rise for 1 hour until doubled in size.

Press the dough into a rectangular shape (like its a golden buzzer on BGT). Then, ‘Divide’ (like Ed Sheeran’s album) and ‘Shape (Of You)‘ into 16 balls of equal size. Place them, almost touching, on baking trays lined with baking parchment.

Cover with a damp tea towel and leave in a warm place until doubled in size and joined together – this may take up to an hour, depending on the temperature.

Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 230°C/fan 210°C/gas mark 8. Beat the egg yolk (like you’re MJ) with 1 tbsp milk and gently brush the (squeezy 😉) buns with the mixture.

Mix together the plain flour and 1 tbsp melted butter with 4 tbsp water to form a paste. Spoon into a piping bag with a plain nozzle and pipe a cross on the top of each bun. Bake in the oven for 5 minutes, then reduce the oven temperature to 190°C/fan 170°C/gas mark 5, and bake for a further 10-15 minutes until risen and golden. Remove from the oven and cool on a wire rack.

In a small pan, gently heat the remaining sugar with 2 tbsp water to dissolve. Bring to the boil, then brush over the cooled buns. Allow to cool completely before serving.

Roast Lamb

I don’t eat lamb (often) at all! My diet mainly consists of chicken, vegetables and fish – I hardly even eat beef… So, I can’t really put a recipe of Roast Lamb because I don’t usually cook with it. Sunday roasts, for my household, is usually made up of chicken or fish (very rarely pork). However, I have come across some pretty experimental roast lamb recipes here.

Bread

Bread is life. Obviously it’s a huge deal around Easter, that and wine… 🍷 Although, saying that, wine is a huge thing 364/5 days-a-year for most of us. 🤣

Have you tried making your own? (Bread)

You don’t even need a bread maker to make some… Here’s a recipe for making some bread without all the technology…

You Knead These (100%)

Shake the flour, salt and yeast (like a Polaroid Picture) in a large bowl. After they’ve been well and truly shaken (not stirred), create a wishing well in the centre, and pour in the oil and water into it. All that’s left (of this bit) is to then Little Mix well.

If the dough seems a little “stiff(en that upper lip – Mockingbird)”, poor 1-2 EGGstra tablespoons of H2O, mix well then tip the dough onto a lightly floured work surface and start kneading it like I do you…

Once the dough is ‘satin-smooth’ (if it’s “satin-smooth”, you might want to start considering the options of wearing it as lingerie tonight instead) transfer it into a slightly oiled bowl.

Leave to rise for 1 hour (with a teatoowl over it) until it’s x2 in size. Alternatively, you could put it in the fridge and leave it there overnight (just cling-film it).

Line your baking tray with baking parchment. Knock back your Rise (not Fall) dough (like you would 45 jägers on a Stag/Hen do), then gently mould the dough into a ball.

Place it on the baking parchment to prove (because that dough ain’t making its way into your belly until it’s proven itself to you!) for a further hour until it’s doubled in size.

After its a quadruple times bigger than it was at first, heat your oven to 220C/fan 200C/gas 7.

Sprinkle a light dusting of flour on the loaf and cut a cross about 6cm long into the top of it, then put it in to bake for 25-30 mins (until golden brown and the loaf sounds hollow when tapped underneath).

Leave to cool on a (not coat) rack.

Carrots

This one’s for the Easter Bunny. You could just eat carrot cake if you don’t like eating them raw… If you end up eating more slices than you bargained for, needing to visit the dentist on Tuesday – don’t worry,  he’ll probably sing you Ed Sheeran!

However, if you don’t mind raw “oranges” (carrots are oranges not greens), just munch on some carrots. Besides, they’ll help you see things clearer. For instance, when someone knows you’re an absolute BAE! 💖