Nutrition

Happy Easter

Happy Easter LoveBunnies! 😉

I thought I’d come online quickly and write up a ‘Cook/Bake with Mii‘ post, because why the heck not?!

Here are a list of a few things (non-chocolate related) I’d recommend you make, bake and eat during the Easter weekend…

Boiled eggs

My current addiction. You know how to make boiled eggs right?! 😆

  1. Eggstreamly good eggs
  2. “WAT?!”er
  3. “(Hot) Sauce in your PAN, boil!”
  4. A hob(knob) ‘pon the cooker

Bisch, basch, BOSCH (the probable brand of your oven)!

Pop the eggs in the saucepan, pour the water over them until covered, then sprinkle some salt and boil.

When your saucepan starts looking less like a saucepan and more like an explosive scientific experiment, that’s your cue to take it off.

Hot Cross Buns

A traditional treat… We all love a Hot Cross Bun, don’t we? I love mine dipped in maple syrup or honey for an even sweeter taste.

Do you want a recipe for them? Of Kors you do!

  • 175g mixed dried fruit (loops)
  • 1 ORANGE, zest (for life)
  • 7g sachet of fast-action dried yeast(er)
  • 175g cast-er-vote ✅ sugar
  • 300ml semi-skimmed milk, warm, plus 1 tbsp milk to glaze (milk it for all it’s worth-it 😉💖) 
  • 600g (“flour game) strong” white bread flour
  • 3 tsp mixed spice (at this point, you could even sprinkle some PERi-PERi salt) 😍
  • Âœ tsp ground cinnamon (“Ahoy! Cinna-mon-timbers!”)
  • 1 whole nutmeg, to grate (you may want to spare your nutty friend Meg though cos she weren’t to blame for the boogie).
  • 75g unsalted butter, softened, plus 1 tbsp melted butter (BUT- BUTTER! Not marge, not lard — BUTTER!)
  • 1 medium free-range egg, good yolks only (the ones that cause an abundance of “hahahaha”s)
  • 50g plain flour (wallflowers are best)

Mix together the dried fruit and ORANGE zest (for life) in a bowl(aroid). Set aside, collaborate and listen. Put the Yeast(er) in a jug(gernaut) with 15g caster sugar (lumps). Pour over 4 tbsp warm milk and leave to foam (like Colgate) for 5 minutes.

In a food processor, pulse the flour (like every time I see bae’s selfies, I eat my own ones – pulsate), 110g caster sugar, a pinch (not punch 👊 though cos we’re mid-month) of salt, the mixed spice, cinnamon, a good grating of nutmeg (Nutty Meg at it again, can’t take her ANYWHERE!) and the softened butter until the mixture resembles breadcrumbs (K-Leeds to the FC). 💖

Tip into a large bowl and make a well (try throwing a new pound coin in and making a wish) in the centre. Pour in the yeast mixture and most of the remaining milk. Mix to a sticky dough, adding more milk if needed.

Tip on to a floured surface and knead for 8-10 minutes, until smooth and elastic (hopefully not like my hair was when I went blonde).

Add the dried fruits and zest mixture and knead (again?! How “kneady” is this bread?!) until combined. Put in a lightly oiled bowl, cover with oiled clingfilm and leave in a warm place to rise for 1 hour until doubled in size.

Press the dough into a rectangular shape (like its a golden buzzer on BGT). Then, ‘Divide’ (like Ed Sheeran’s album) and ‘Shape (Of You)‘ into 16 balls of equal size. Place them, almost touching, on baking trays lined with baking parchment.

Cover with a damp tea towel and leave in a warm place until doubled in size and joined together – this may take up to an hour, depending on the temperature.

Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 230°C/fan 210°C/gas mark 8. Beat the egg yolk (like you’re MJ) with 1 tbsp milk and gently brush the (squeezy 😉) buns with the mixture.

Mix together the plain flour and 1 tbsp melted butter with 4 tbsp water to form a paste. Spoon into a piping bag with a plain nozzle and pipe a cross on the top of each bun. Bake in the oven for 5 minutes, then reduce the oven temperature to 190°C/fan 170°C/gas mark 5, and bake for a further 10-15 minutes until risen and golden. Remove from the oven and cool on a wire rack.

In a small pan, gently heat the remaining sugar with 2 tbsp water to dissolve. Bring to the boil, then brush over the cooled buns. Allow to cool completely before serving.

Roast Lamb

I don’t eat lamb (often) at all! My diet mainly consists of chicken, vegetables and fish – I hardly even eat beef… So, I can’t really put a recipe of Roast Lamb because I don’t usually cook with it. Sunday roasts, for my household, is usually made up of chicken or fish (very rarely pork). However, I have come across some pretty experimental roast lamb recipes here.

Bread

Bread is life. Obviously it’s a huge deal around Easter, that and wine… đŸ· Although, saying that, wine is a huge thing 364/5 days-a-year for most of us. đŸ€Ł

Have you tried making your own? (Bread)

You don’t even need a bread maker to make some… Here’s a recipe for making some bread without all the technology…

You Knead These (100%)

Shake the flour, salt and yeast (like a Polaroid Picture) in a large bowl. After they’ve been well and truly shaken (not stirred), create a wishing well in the centre, and pour in the oil and water into it. All that’s left (of this bit) is to then Little Mix well.

If the dough seems a little “stiff(en that upper lip – Mockingbird)”, poor 1-2 EGGstra tablespoons of H2O, mix well then tip the dough onto a lightly floured work surface and start kneading it like I do you…

Once the dough is ‘satin-smooth’ (if it’s “satin-smooth”, you might want to start considering the options of wearing it as lingerie tonight instead) transfer it into a slightly oiled bowl.

Leave to rise for 1 hour (with a teatoowl over it) until it’s x2 in size. Alternatively, you could put it in the fridge and leave it there overnight (just cling-film it).

Line your baking tray with baking parchment. Knock back your Rise (not Fall) dough (like you would 45 jÀgers on a Stag/Hen do), then gently mould the dough into a ball.

Place it on the baking parchment to prove (because that dough ain’t making its way into your belly until it’s proven itself to you!) for a further hour until it’s doubled in size.

After its a quadruple times bigger than it was at first, heat your oven to 220C/fan 200C/gas 7.

Sprinkle a light dusting of flour on the loaf and cut a cross about 6cm long into the top of it, then put it in to bake for 25-30 mins (until golden brown and the loaf sounds hollow when tapped underneath).

Leave to cool on a (not coat) rack.

Carrots

This one’s for the Easter Bunny. You could just eat carrot cake if you don’t like eating them raw… If you end up eating more slices than you bargained for, needing to visit the dentist on Tuesday – don’t worry,  he’ll probably sing you Ed Sheeran!

However, if you don’t mind raw “oranges” (carrots are oranges not greens), just munch on some carrots. Besides, they’ll help you see things clearer. For instance, when someone knows you’re an absolute BAE! 💖

Pukka Three Ginger

Yes, I know what you’re thinking – “your last post was about tea and you’re doing another one?!” Why, yes! Yes, I want to express my love for teas. To be honest with you, I love coffees more than tea, but teas are a better choice for detoxifying the body.

Pukka’s Three Ginger tea is excellent. You’ll notice that I have a slightly large obsession with ginger. I love ginger. Ginger, giraffes, ginger giraffes… Yeah, I’m obsessed!

No, I don’t know why it’s called Three Ginger… I wasn’t aware that there was more than one type of ginger… I do however know that you should read on.

Three Ginger tea is a warming swirl of organic ginger, galangal & golden turmeric.

Anyway, the ginger tea is very strong but I like it. If you like ginger, you’ll love this.The ingredients are ginger, galangal and golden turmeric. It’s spicy, but bearable.

All Pukka teas contain the highest quality organic herbs.

Have you tried Pukka’s Three Ginger tea? What were your thoughts? Get involved in the comments or send me a mind message ’cause you’re good at that…

Last word: it’s PUKKA, MATE! BONZA.

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This water’d make a camel jealous.

Water (I should hope so or else…)

Mint Leaves (like Tree-sa May should!)

1 whole peeled Lemon (first name ‘Unwaxed’, not Keith)

Shavings of Cucumber (not Gillette)

Leave to soak for a few hours (or even a day)

Drink it to sober up after a manic DĂ€yger. 💖

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While I wait for bae to “as if by magic” be single and slide into my DMs to ask me on an actual date, I’ve decided to start eating my body-weight in dates until then, in a hope that it induces not just the labour of love but a miracle.

I’ve been obsessed with walnut cake since I ate it at a community centre last year, or the year before that… I was volunteering at a film night and there it was laid out as part of the spread, it mentally twatted me to life. The rest is history…

So, anyway, date & walnut cakes… 😋😋😋 #IDidntKnowIWasStarvingUntilITastedYou

IN (DA CLUB) GREDIENTS đŸŽ¶

  • 2 pounds worth of dates (cost and weight), (Brad) Pitted and (Karate) Chopped
  • 2 pounds English (or Brexitted) walnuts, (Michael) Korsly Chop(stick)ed
  • 1 cup of (Alan) Sugar
  • 1 tablespoon (Great British) Baking (Loose) Powder
  • 1 1/4 cups all (Justin Bieber) purpose (bouquet of one) flour
  • 4 egg(stremely good) yolks
  • 4 egg(stremely pearly) whites

HOW DO YOU… MAKE ME NOW! đŸŽ¶

Start by turning the oven ON, unless you want to eat cake batter then, A-OK. EU OK, HUN? Turn up the heat to 300 degrees, like you when you look in the mirror, bae! 😉

Grease (lightening) your pan and flour it.

In a large bowl, combine the dates (we’ve yet to go on) walnuts (which we’ve yet to paint), (Alan) sugar (we’ve yet to cane), baking powder (we’ve yet to apply on our #Flawless faces) and (a wedding bouquet of one) flour. Stir in egg yolks (puns included).

In a large glass or metal mixing bowl, beat (it like MJ, legend) the egg whites (of my eyes not tattooed) until stiff peaks start forming. Fold the whites into the fruit/nut mixture until no streaks remain. Spoon (like we should be doing sometime soon) into prepared pan.

Bake in the preheated oven for 90 minutes (not 7 Days). Let cool (ICE) in (Peter) pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely.

(The original recipes didn’t include what’s in the brackets, I just added it for the LOVE 💖)

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This review on Fiji water is extremely late.

I have been drinking this for YEARS but never thought to write about it because I just never remembered to…

Look – Buxton, Evian, Volvic, Smartwater… (when you surprise yourself at your level of understanding into the mineral/spring water industry) … They’re all good, but Fiji is by far the best imo. I love how island-ic it looks and tastes.

Not only can you see how iconic it looks, but you can taste it too. If I had to describe its taste, I’d say it’s smooth (and “mattifying” – #bblogger & #hblogger lingo) to the tastebuds. I love it. What’s more, it actually tastes exotic.

I always buy a bottle or 10 whenever I see them in a store.

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Let’s discuss the packaging, yeah? Oh wow, it’s so different to any water bottle I’ve ever seen… It actually looks like or more expensive than its cost price when in comparison with other artisan water brands. Do you know any? 😆

I’m surprised it’s not a HUGE trend on Instagram tbh. Those colourful Starbucks shakes are good, but these bottles are just as good if you ask me…

Next time you see these in a shop, pick one up and taste the difference.

You can buy them in bulk at Ocado, apparently. O C A D O, OCADO.com. đŸŽ¶

Finally, I would go as far as to say I get Fiji-ty when I haven’t had access to one of these, a coffee, a Yorkshire Tea or a selfie of your Cajunderrated SPICY, SAXY, Marvin Gaye Kareoke-inducing face. 💖

No H2O(T) beats YOU and purified water, FYI.