Nutrition

Pad Thai

If you follow me  on Twitter (and have yet to mute me for my constant LIVE streaming of my daily parodic life), you’ll know that I love Pad Thai. I’m actually learning to love Pad Thai more than life’s fair share of humans… Twitter’ll tell you I’m not anti-social though, I have published approximately 30k tweets. 😆

Anyway, Thai cuisine is the bae awae from bae… No, no. no… I don’t think you actually understand! When I eat a plate of extra nutty and spicy Pad Thai, I don’t think about the maybe painful excretion afterwards – I just eat it. 😋 It’s lush. It’s delicious. It’s everything.

If you’d like to make it for yourself, click here.

Here’s a contradiction for the inter-diction… I usually hate the sauce in stews but I wouldn’t mind that extra Pad Thai-an residue. It’s SO tasty when done right. I like it flavoursome aka ‘not bland’. I’ve sadly had a few where not even Chilli oil can save them.

If you’re looking for a great place to try some, there’s one in Camden that does is just right. Like the story of the Three Bears. Also, those prawns (as seen in the picture) were the best prawns I’ve ever put inside of my facial-hole known as ‘mouth’.

Back to the restaurant, I’m there as much as people go to work, school, or college/uni… If you don’t go to any of those, I love them as much as you stay at home or live that retired life. Prince Philip, if you’re reading, which – let’s face it, of course you are. You and the Queen are secret fans, aren’t you? The answer you’re looking for Philip is: “yes.”

What a guy! Retiring at 95, the dude’s a DON.

If Pad Thai entered FarEastVision, it’d get ichi ni san shi points from me.

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You’re going to want to – or not want to… It’s entirely up to you. But, umm, it’s in the best interest of your ancestors that you do. It’s what they would’ve wanted. They’d be like: ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ not subscribing to Miamii’s upcoming newsletter. 😘

Banana Bread

I had banana bread for lunch the other day, and it reminded me that I know of a really tasty recipe that I’ve yet to post up, so – here it is…

Before we get into it, I need to confess that my mother’s potential reincarnation to human (from monkey) may be the reason why I love bananas so much. She adores them, I adore her. It’s that simple. She eats bananas like I do sushi.

Without further ado… (Much ado about everything)…

In the ‘gred’ of ‘ients’:

  • 2 large eggs after Michael Jackson has finished with them… #Beaten
  • 70 grams of a naughty pack of almonds which you’ve been forced to ground #ThugLyf
  • 70 grams flour that did a Mowgli from the Jungle Book (and raised itself)
  • 2 large ripe bananas, so ripe!
  • 140 grams of ‘butter me up’ butter

The Methodone programme (as seen on Jezza):

  1. Turn up the heat of your oven to approximately (or exactly) 180C/160C fan/gas mask 4. Yes, I said mask. #DarthVader
  2. Butter up a loaf tin and line the base and sides with baking parchment (also known as heat-proof paper).
  3. Mix the butter and sugar until creamy, light and fluffy. Now, like a sloth – slowly start add the eggs and gradually include flour.
  4. Fold (your arms) in the remaining flour, ground almonds, baking powder and bananas.
  5. Transfer the mixture from your bowl and into the tin, baking for approximately 30 mins or until a skewer comes out clean.
  6. Remove from oven and leave to cool in the tin.

That’s literally it.

For extra garnish, feel free to add toasted almonds and drizzle some runny icing (icing sugar and 3tsp water). This’ll be sure to turn it into a DELICIOUS Banana & Almond drizzle cake.

Although I don’t have an image of it yet, I’ve posted one that is very similar. As you can see, they’ve opted to garnish theirs with banana chips. I wanted to add almonds because banana and almond make for a perfect, tasty match. Much like me and bae.

Salmon

Tonight has been one of the busiest nights, ever! I actually didn’t get home until about 8pm, and I’ve been cooking/eating/blogging since I arrived. I left work at around 5 and went in search of fresh tuna steaks… I couldn’t find any (fresh ones).

I checked Iceland because one branch in particular was the closest…

I’m sorry but their ones looked like they’ve been there since my date of birth.

Also, I know they’re a supermarket called ‘Iceland’ but I wasn’t expecting everything to look like it’s literally been in a freezer for 76 and a half years…

I mean, come on! There’s being a frozen food store and then there’s selling icebergs in the shape of food! The one I was in today was the latter.

Imagine trying to defrost the produce from my one in particular… You’d be standing next to your microwave/oven for seven centuries and a few decades (at the very least)…

Mums go to Iceland‘??? Yeah, maternal ESKIMOS!

However, I do want to make a point that Iceland does stock the best desserts and Ice cream. What’s more, I’m sure their packaged foods are great too – I’ve just not been impressed with their seafood selection thus far. Having said that, I did see some lobster tails and scallops that I thought looked like they should be in the mouth and down the hatch.

Anyway, back to my quest for fresh tuna  – which in case you can’t keep up, there wasn’t any fresh, tasty looking ones in Iceland. I then went to the local co-op, didn’t Get Lucky in there either…

Look, in hindsight, I could’ve easily searched the high road for a fishmonger, but it was 7ish (and I needed bladder relief) – ain’t no fishmonger gonna have fresh fish that late. Yes, I could’ve gone to Billingsgate but then again, no – no I couldn’t. 😭

I keep going off on tangents, sorry! So, somehow I ended up buying Sockeye salmon fillets to make instead… This is proof of that world famous saying: “if at first you don’t tuna, try a Sockeye salmon gain”. 

God only knows where the name ‘Sockeye’ derived from. Whether or not the fisherman who discovered this very fish realised a sock had been ‘pon its eye and thought: “let’s call it sockeye”, we may never know…

The recipe is as follows (like Twitter):

  • Coconut oil
  • Sesame seeds
  • Sockeye Salmon
  • Cayenne Pepper

What to do when you’re B(eing) Q(ute):

Spread coconut oil all over the fillet, sprinkle cayenne pepper together with the sesame all over (front and back). Leave the salmon to grill itself in the pan, on a medium heat for approximately 4mins (each side).

You can flip the salmon (like a savoury and nothing to do with batter pancake) using a spatula. Hands up who likes spatulas the normal amount that anyone should?  🙌

Oh, before I forget (not that I could because it’s in the picture), I added a handful of mixed nuts, a cheese stuffed mini pepper and and an artichoke “on a bed of” leafy greens. Masterchef, come GET ME!

Finally, my mum makes grilled plantain and a special chilli sauce (also seen in the picture – the sauce).

The recipe for mum’s chilli sauce (I assume) is plum tomato, endless amounts of scotch bonnet chills and finely chopped onions..? Don’t quote me on it though.

Mum, if you’re reading this, I apologise profusely for either getting your recipe completely wrong or giving away your chilli sauce  recipe secret (if it’s right).

But, I’m sure She Doesn’t Mind.

I feel a bit weird doing a Nando’s review approximately 15 years since I had my first – but let’s go with it…

Nando’s, is the place where all the nans, their kids, grandkids, and great grandkids go. Everyone goes to Nando’s. In fact, you don’t have to have a nan to go with… You can go with your man, drive a van, or just turn up with your mate Jan, who’s a fan.

I love Nando’s. The food, the sauces, the ambiance (not ambulance, although – if you try a spice too hot and aren’t accustomed to it, you might need one).

PERi PERi Sauce

My favourite Nando’s sauce has to be the Pomegranate dressing. It’s not spicy, it’s just bae. Also, Nando’s NEW(ish) Vusa sauce is apparently hotter than the Extra Extra Sauce (the black bottle) but, umm, I don’t know if my mum made love to a Scotch Bonnet the night she got preggers with me, I just didn’t find it “too spicy”. However, it is DELICIOUS! I’d have it on everything.

Nando's

What do I have when I go there? Aside from the Halloumi, Hummus Dip, Sweet Potato Wedges and Chicken (what it’s most famous for)? The Quinoa salad. It’s got my absolute every favourite ingredients… Chicken, Quinoa, Chick Peas, Avocado, and Greens. I have to admit I’m not big on Feta – so I choose to have the salad without. I do get a side of Halloumi though.

If you find yourself in South Africa (where it originates) or Portugal, pop down and try it from the HOME of Nando’s. Alternatively, do a Mii and travel as far as your local high road, in the UK, for a CHEEKY one! You’ll never regret it. It’s actually the most delicious way to have chicken. Grilled. Charred.

Finally, this is a special announcement – I’m obsessed with the Wing Roulette. It’s a safer, non muderous version of Russian Roulette. Instead, you’re sacrificing your tastebud (if too much spicy/heat isn’t your thing). BAE. B A E. U are B-A-E, Nando’s.

I was a pesky pescatarian when I was at Uni, wasn’t I? Yes, I was. My Uni was in Ealing and there were a number of good sushi places around, so I got accustomed to the consumption of fish like it was tap water.

If you know me, you know I love to cook. I’m in no way a Nigella, probably more a younger Mrs. Doubtfire (who’s yet to set the kitchen or her non-existent big fabric breasts on fire)…

This is a recipe for two. If you have a S/O who enjoys salmon, this’d be a nice treat! It’s so easy and quick to do, you’ll honestly love it – if you love Vietnamese food or anything authentic.

  • 25g (1oz) piece fresh ginger, peeled and thinly sliced
  • 1 tbsp fish sauce (or stock?)
  • ½ tsp sugar
  • 1 tsp fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
  • 1 tsp crushed garlic (you wouldn’t want to wear cloves on a night out)
  • 2 salmon fillets
  • Spring onions to decorate

Combine the marinade ingredients in a bowl (fish sauce/stock, sugar, lemon juice, garlic, pepper and ginger), add the salmon, then use a pastry brush to spread the marinade evenly over it. Cover the now marinated fish in tin-foil or cling film and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

If you’re planning on cooking this outside, grill the salmon on a BBQ for about seven minutes each side. Alternatively, cook in a preheated oven at 200°C/400°F/gas mark 6 for eight to 12 minutes.

Finally, scatter the spring onion over the salmon before serving. Devour. 😋