Lifestyle

Yesterday, the mother bearage and me took a trip to a department store, to do some shopping for my room. I want to decorate it, and make it brightly coloured. It’s Spring, which leads on to Summer no less… So, my room’s got to reflect my energy during those seasons.

We ventured into Habitat like a couple of sloths wanting to check out our nature reserves – slightly like a David Attenborough documentary… I didn’t last 10 minutes in there.

I found some scatter cushions that I fell in love with, took one out to have a look and they all fell like Dominos, and there were some crockery vases that I hadn’t seen… Needless to say, they fell like Humpty Dumpty and I was livid with embarrassment! Never again.

I did wonder though: ‘why on Earth they’d have a bunch of 10 cushions placed in front of vases on the bottom shelf’?! It’s a bit odd to say the least… I mean, I’ve never known anyone to do a 360 degrees turn around a table just to check if there’s some CROCKERY behind a cushion… WHAT THE FUDGERIGAR?! (if a bird was made of toffee).

A lady who works there shared my pain (without the added mortifiedness of smashing an item) and reassured me it was “all good” and that there were “too many cushions there, anyway”. She also, like a legend, cleared up my mess. Didn’t mention the stupidity of putting cushions in front of the crockery though… Alas.

I must’ve really embarrassed momski, but she still loves me (as I do her) and was there for me during and after my embarrassing ordeal. She did also warn me that I’d drop it, I was just feeling those #ThugLyf vibes… Sorry mum! 🙈💛

That was when my eyes met with a delightful, orange, holey throw… I can’t tell you how soft, bright, and stunning it was – but I’m going to…

Oh.

It was orange (less like DT’s burnt skin-shade THANK GOD but more like a juicy Orange 😍). It just looked DIVINE. I wanted it.

Habitat were doing 20% off everything, so I bought it and have been snuggling in it all day…

It’s so comforting, comfortable, and a-comma-dating. Imagine I dated a comma. #Punctuation. Let’s get #Grammatical, #Grammatical, I want to get #Grammatical… Let me see your #Apostrophe! 😜

Soft and warm, with a chunky pattern, the Topaz orange and cream knitted cotton throw adds colour and texture to a scheme.

Designed in house and exclusive to Habitat, the throw is lightweight yet cosy, the perfect piece to have at hand for chilly evenings.

In terms of room decor, this throw gets a PUNCH (above the rest, like Anthony Joshua), 10/10!

For colour, I’d give it another 10/10.

For price, usually – I’d give it an: “are you having a BATH without something from LUSH in there?!” On this occasion, because I smashed some crockery, and it’s worth it – like bae – I’d give it an “AOK.”

Not bad, Habitat… Not bad at all! It’s not bad enough to be — good!

De Christ Wine

This wine uses a blend of 75% Sémillon, 10 % Sauvignon and 15 % Muscadelle.

It is bred in our cellars for a minimum of 2 to 3 months before it is bottled.

Very aromatic, very well balanced (sugar / alcohol), long persistence in the mouth.

Consumed very fresh (around 6 ° C) as an aperitif and fits perfectly white meats and with foie gras.

Let yourself be surprised by an astonishing pairing with Roquefort!

Finally, it will accompany wonderfully sweet desserts like wild strawberries.

Aging potential: 5 years.

Alcohol content: 10.5%

Christ the saviour of your Friday and Saturday nights is born… 

OH MY GOD, I can’t believe it… I’ve never been this hungover at home. (‘hungover’ as in hanging over my bedroom’s chandelier like Sia)🎶

You know what, I like wine the normal amount… I mean, I don’t like it as much as Phil Mitchell of Eastenders does…  But, I like it enough to drink it socially on nights in/out.

However, the ones I’m used to have a tendency to be too high in alcohol content, tasting too much like it too… I know what you’re thinking: “U WOT, MATE?!” I get it, I know…

Although, I did hear that the sign of a good wine means you shouldn’t be able to taste much of the alcohol. It’s the same with cocktails… Of course there should be a taste, but it shouldn’t be full on that you end up on the phone to 111 after you’ve had a few.

I’ll be pleased to know that De Christ wine isn’t one that tastes too much of alcohol. It’s so fruity, sweet and tasty – unlike any I’ve tried before. Much like bae.

I’m sure diabetes has tried knocking on my door (like a Jehova’s witness) since I’ve got this (potentially before), but I’ve let them in. We take it in turns, I read them a few passages from my blog, and they read me a list of their insulin stats dated 18 BC to 2017.

This wine tastes how I feel when I look at selfies of bae. SUGAR RUSH! 😍 and as though I’ve been frolicking in a factory of Werther’s Original, cos he’s worth it.

Although I love both white and red, this has converted me and I’m now a fully fledged white wine drinker.

I can’t have too much of any wine though because my head feels as though it’s hanging from the other side of a teacup ride. You know those rides at the fairground? Yeah, imagine my neck being what Stretch Armstrong is… You’re welcome.

L'Oréal

I’m actually typing this as I power plate… I have absolutely no idea how it’s going to come out, I’m just trialling this as an experiment.

The music – Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shape of You’ – is playing as I’m typing and my whole body’s engaging in convulsions of the electric pulsating variety. Nice.

Yesterday, I posted a photo of my new hair colour (and eyebrow shape) along with my made up facial follicles also known as ‘pores’. Singapores, winners of Dermatoligists Got Talent, 0-2017 (current).

Everything on my hair and face (except my brows and skin) was courtesy of L’Oréal. Yes.

I’m sharing it with you all because I think everybody could benefit…

L’Oréal might be cost effective, and umm – who doesn’t love cost effective?! It also leaves your face looking a quadrillion yens. (Pound’s suffering, and I ain’t giving that Fartface any more airtime). So, I’ll stick with yens…

Let’s take some time out to appreciate the title that I chose for this post… ‘Get The Look: without my DNA’ cos let’s face it (puns, puns everywhere!) if you looked like me… Scrap that, I wouldn’t let you!

Anyway, time to run through the process of going from Lebanese Polar Bear to Lebanese PHWOAR GRAS(ILY) BEAR! Relax, it’s French, isn’t it? 😉

*a step that isn’t really a step because if you don’t do this before applying your makeup, are you okay? Do you need a visit from the Hygiene Standards Agency?*

I washed my face with LUSH’s Let The Good Times Roll, and followed up with a LUSH’s Eau Roma water. Look, got to be patriotic to the French, don’t I? I’m using L’Oréal after all.. Also, LUSH sounds like a French word. Imagine Fred from First Dates saying it? … or someone from Leeds via Versailles. Anyway. Moving on (in the post, not from bae… #flambé).

I then went on to moisturise my layer using This Works’ In Transit Camera Close Up (which a full, detailed review of is coming soon). Long title, the length of its title is as long as the duration of love that I have for it…

Step One:

Prime that baby. Get that facial skin of yours, and put some L’Oréal ‘Infallible Mattifying Base‘ ‘pon it. I really want to swear – but my mum has instructed me not to. I listen to my mum, so FUDGE ME is this a good primer?! Butterscotch. It’s silicon-y and fills fine lines and nasilobial creases perfectly. Trust me, the amount of times I laugh at mine or bae’s jokes, it’s a wonder I don’t look 400 in the face…

Yeah, so – it’s good it’s infallible, inflammable, infantasticable, inflatulancable, infatuationable, influxable, inlovable, inadorable… Ineverythinggoodable.

Step Two:

Foundate that baby! Take that primed complexion of yours, and foundate it using Infallible Total Cover. The thickness of this bad boy… 😍 If it was a sport, it’d be dubbed: “PHWOARKOUR”!

It’s so hot that I need a fire extinguisher. I love it. 100% full coverage. It’ll probably cover every embarrassing memory that’s ever entered your mind.

I love this. It’s so bae that I don’t even know what ‘bae’ means anymore… Joking. How could I forget Bae? Even though he’s probably trying to (or already has) forgotten me.

Step Three:

Apparently, I got this next one’s name wrong… 😭

I thought it was the Nude Magique highlighter but apparently it’s True Match. I’ve got both the highlighter and bronzer in the True Match range.

I have no idea why I was thinking about Nude Magique… I’m a fully clothed naturist sorceress.

So, yes – I got it wrong and now I’ve fixed it. Knowing me, it’ll definitely happen again, but not with anything associated with L’Oréal. Scouts and Girl Guides honour.

So, highlight your triangles below the eyes, chin, bridge of your nose, and Cupid’s bow (without the arrow). Blend using the L’Oréal blender (if you’ve got one) or a brush/fingers of if you’re a filthy FCUKER, a boiled egg.

Step Four:

Take that Con on TOUR, babies! Draw them cheekbones like Picasso… Give your face that chisel, fizzle, drizzle fo’ shizzle!

As I prematurely stated in several paragraphs/sentences before this one… ’cause I type a lot, don’t I?

See, there’s a button which solves all of that… The “x” at the top left of this page. It’s a kiss, apparently! Alternatively, you could kiss me via a sublime (minal) tweet. 😘

At approximately Contour o’clock, apply the Liquid True Match Bronzer.

Step Five:

‘Lips or eyes?’ Lips or eyes..? I’m sure if L’Oréal was around in Shakespeare’s day, that’d be his first and foremost question… Forget his infamous “to be, or not to be?”.

I went with lips, all the better to kiss you with. I applied Colour Riche… It’s ‘badabing badaboom’. I’m sure everyone who had the privilege of seeing me yesterday would agree.

Step Six:

My favourite. Eyes. My most prized possession are my lashes. I’ve actively thought about getting them insured, then realised that I’m not vain nor completely senile. Emphasis on “completely”. 😂

Not speaking of bae (but speaking of him at the same time), his eyes are like melted Twixes. That deep, creamy droplet shade of brown. PENG!

So, yes, eyelashes. Double. Extension. Extend those lashes to DOUBLE the length.

WOW. My lashes went from there to EVERYWHERE.

They were probably enjoying the scenery in Queensland (Australia) while I was chilling at Buckingham Palace, London.

For those who’ve just joined us, or are not native to the UK, I don’t live in Buckingham Palace. Soz. The Queen does though.

Also, not every citizen of the UK is accustomed to that lifestyle of drinking teas with the Queen and taking her Corgis for a bladder or bowel relief on the grounds.

Step ‘MORNING’:

I dyed every one of my hair strands with L’Oréal Casting Creme Gloss. In keeping with the theme of the last paragraph, one could say that I shine brighter than Rihanna’s diamonds and Rudolph’s nose between the 23-26th of December.

There you go. That’s how I went from Miamii Mansour to Miamii Mansweet, like some Chinese takeaway that you’ve yet to eat from a plate.

Thanks for reading, or attempting to. It’s been fun, for me… I’m not sure if you’ve had fun… Maybe tell the moon and the stars to send me a message, informing me of your thoughts?

Banana Bread

I had banana bread for lunch the other day, and it reminded me that I know of a really tasty recipe that I’ve yet to post up, so – here it is…

Before we get into it, I need to confess that my mother’s potential reincarnation to human (from monkey) may be the reason why I love bananas so much. She adores them, I adore her. It’s that simple. She eats bananas like I do sushi.

Without further ado… (Much ado about everything)…

In the ‘gred’ of ‘ients’:

  • 2 large eggs after Michael Jackson has finished with them… #Beaten
  • 70 grams of a naughty pack of almonds which you’ve been forced to ground #ThugLyf
  • 70 grams flour that did a Mowgli from the Jungle Book (and raised itself)
  • 2 large ripe bananas, so ripe!
  • 140 grams of ‘butter me up’ butter

The Methodone programme (as seen on Jezza):

  1. Turn up the heat of your oven to approximately (or exactly) 180C/160C fan/gas mask 4. Yes, I said mask. #DarthVader
  2. Butter up a loaf tin and line the base and sides with baking parchment (also known as heat-proof paper).
  3. Mix the butter and sugar until creamy, light and fluffy. Now, like a sloth – slowly start add the eggs and gradually include flour.
  4. Fold (your arms) in the remaining flour, ground almonds, baking powder and bananas.
  5. Transfer the mixture from your bowl and into the tin, baking for approximately 30 mins or until a skewer comes out clean.
  6. Remove from oven and leave to cool in the tin.

That’s literally it.

For extra garnish, feel free to add toasted almonds and drizzle some runny icing (icing sugar and 3tsp water). This’ll be sure to turn it into a DELICIOUS Banana & Almond drizzle cake.

Although I don’t have an image of it yet, I’ve posted one that is very similar. As you can see, they’ve opted to garnish theirs with banana chips. I wanted to add almonds because banana and almond make for a perfect, tasty match. Much like me and bae.

Sunshine Blogger Award

Bella Inzio did a Sunshine Blogger Award and nominated everyone who read it… I obviously read it, and have accepted her indirect nomination with pride, because today was the sunniest day ever, to happen in London, England…

It was so incredibly sunny that haters would say it hailed and snowed! Don’t ask meteorologists, ’cause they’re the haters!

TERRIBLE WEATHER! WHAT THE HELL?!

Yeah – here’s the ‘4 Simple Rules For Accepting My Nomination‘:

• Merci beaucoup the person(s) who nominated you in a post and linking up with their blog

• Answer the 11 questions sent by the person who nominated you (to the best of your ability, or in my case – worst)

• Nominate 11 blogs to receive the award and write them 11 different questions (this should be fun, everyone knows how much I love a good interrogation #BroadchurchCALLING).

• Make reference to the rules and display the Sunshine Blogger Award picture in all its glory on your Postmansour Blog

The Qu(estions)te that Bella wanted answering:

1. What’s your favourite flower?

The ‘Bird of Paradise’. I absolutely love it. The ones that remind me of my mum, which I also love, are Plumeria/Frangipani, Jasmine, Gardenia, and Daisy. 🙂

I’m also a massive fan of blue orchids and roses. In fact, I’d probably say the blue orchid is my second favourite. Definitely the first is Bird of Paradise.

2. How do you unwind when stress strikes?

Blog like a Bloggosapien.

3. Who’s your celeb crush?

Bae, he probably doesn’t identify himself as a celebrity but he is and/or should be… He is in his field – that’s for sure! Trust me, he’s outstanding in it, a legendary Scarecrow of a guy! 😆

He’s so lovely it’s scary. 💖

4. Do you have a sports team you support?

Leeds (via Manchester) United.

5. One random fact about yourself.

I’m normal, on the outside. Yeah, I’m normal. Somewhat normal – in between normal and Normansour.

6. Something you worked really hard for that you’re proud of?

My life. I literally sat in my mum’s womb for 9 MONTHS! That’s slave labour – literally. #OneBorn

7. What’s your guilty pleasure?

Bae. Although he ain’t guilty, he’s innocent – like the smoothie. 😉

8. What made you want to start your blog?

The fact that I can touch type, type really fast, and do some cool stuff with typing. I have a type, writers. Writers are just my type.

*Time to take a break, I’m Out.* 

9. Something you want to improve on?

Understand that bae might not feel the saeme? Nah, tried that – wasn’t fun. So, he does. I’ll make sure he does. 😜

I’m also absolutely joking, listen – if he didn’t, I’d absolutely understand. A Desperado is a drink, not a trait.

10. One characteristic in a partner that is non-negotiable?

I would’ve said funny, ’cause they have to be hilarious 💖 – but nowadays I’m really digging (a hole in the ‘Shape of Them’ 😆) annoyingness. Like, the more annoying they actually are, the better. 😘

11. Are you a planner or do you wing it?

I own a planner, love lists, and eat chicken wings – so I guess I’m the best of both worlds?

Nominations:

If this was Big Brother, I’d nominate those who are reading this. I’m doing a Bella because I’m hungry af and need to eat. I also love too many bloggers to link just 11. Of course, the latter was my excuse. The first reason was just the test.

My questions:

  1. What’s your favourite song ever written?
  2. Where do you like to go to eat out?
  3. How many pets do you/have you had (if any)? OR Why don’t you have any pets now?
  4. What’s your favourite memory?
  5. If you could stalk anyone without being caught or noticed (and without it being almost illegal) who would you stalk and why? 😂
  6. How would you know you’ve made it?
  7. What’s your dream job?
  8. Where do you see yourself in 3 years time?
  9. Define your own “happiness”?
  10. What is your favourite thing about life?
  11. If you could spend time with anyone, dead/alive, who would it be and why?