Lifestyle

Nivea, Pepsi, Co-OpThere must be something in the advertising industry’s water because Nivea has become the second (out of three) brand to pull an advert from the airwaves, this week…

We all know which was the first, don’t we? Pepsi, of course! Yeah, their 2017 advert featuring Kendall Jenner was removed after hundreds of thousands of viewers complained that it was “trivialising recent street protests across the US” which took place in support of the ‘Black Lives Matter’ movement.

Although a few took offence (with many voicing their opinions via social-media) there’s no denying that a large number of others were able to react by making jokes or being sassy, Martin Luther King’s daughter being one of them…

Pepsi has since apologised and taken down the advert (as expected), also publishing an apologetic statement to the disgruntled fans, customers and Kendall Jenner in particular.

As I said, Nivea has also had to have its advert taken down… The German skincare company has become the second brand to publicly apologise to viewers and fans for its “white is purity” campaign; which was deemed discriminatory and racially insensitive…

How the advertisers signed this one off as okay I don’t and won’t ever know! I mean, just LOOK at it (picture above).

Oh and – just when we thought that was it for failed adverts, the UK’s Co-operative supermarket has too come under fire over “outrageous sexism” after it released an advert regarding chocolate Easter eggs…

Their latest commercial encourages parents to treat their daughters “for doing the washing up”. I mean, I don’t even know whether to laugh or cry… WHAT?! It seems as though the advertising world has well and truly lost it.

Alas, this month’s shaping up to be the month advertising fails. Remember, we’re 7 Days in, and already three adverts have been pulled (like a piece of meat). Who knows what else is in store over the next 22-or-so days…

Oh, how could I forget… Cadbury very nearly makes the fourth after it was criticised for opting not to use the word “Easter” in its egg hunts. SWINES!

TeaMi… (the tea that I sort-of share a name with)… I’m Miamii, this is TeaMi.

I discovered TeaMi when I got bored of Bootea and fancied a change (nothing to do with running out of content for this blog, okay?!)… I came across it on Instagram and decided that I should invest in a 30 Day pack and review it.

I think there was a short waiting time of two days from the time that I ordered it to when it arrived. Hilarious story though: the postperson apparently knocked at 7:30am to deliver it (which they didn’t). I know this because I was awake at that time and didn’t hear a knock at the door so someone was still in dream state and it wasn’t me! Moving on, so I reached out to them on Twitter but by the time they’d responded, I’d already gone to pick it up.

TeaMi is a detox tea. It might seem like the other ones on the market, but to me, it’s completely different. I think it’s honestly the best one I’ve tried – based on the taste first and foremost… The taste is different to anything I’ve tried. It’s just really subtle in flavour, not overpowering in the slightest.

The daytime one’s called “Skinny” taste like honey, to me…One thing you should know: the Skinny packet contains loose tea leaves that you should boil and drain.

In order for the body to look good, it has to feel good. Teami Skinny tea combines a unique blend of all natural ingredients. Teami Skinny does not produce a laxative effect – you can drink as many cups as you like!   Our Teami Skinny is the morning…

The nighttime one…

Teami Colon Cleanse Tea is used to purify the body from the inside out, cleansing the organs while simultaneously clearing the digestive tract of any toxins caused primarily by pollution, harsh chemicals and processed foods. Teami Colon Cleanse rids the body of these unwanted toxins and leaves you feeling better…

Hahahahahahahahhahaha! Hahahahahahhahaha! No, wait – HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

Where do I begin?… Let’s start in the bog aka ‘the toilet’ and then umm – never leaving? Yes, the nighttime one is a laxative named ‘Colon‘ and boy does it CLEANSE the colon – so much so that you’ll need a colon-oscopic surgery to fit a new one in after the other one FALLS OUT! Honestly, it’s hardcore. I literally felt like I’d been given a cocktail of Imodium, Senakot, and a melt-in-water manure-inducing enema type thing.

Look, the tea is called TeaMi… Expect some TMI all round!

Although I pooped on Day Three of this (more than I have in my entire 25 years of living), I can say that I do feel cleansed afterwards. It really did help get rid of toxins in my body, and I also felt more energised.

I love it. I’ve yet to finish it – I’ll share an update “Results” post once I’ve completed the cleanse, but I’m going to have to be honest and say I haven’t been sticking to it, though… I have just finished 31 days of no sweet treats, trying to raise money for charity. Since finishing, I have been OD’ing on them (sweets) FORociously.

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This water’d make a camel jealous.

Water (I should hope so or else…)

Mint Leaves (like Tree-sa May should!)

1 whole peeled Lemon (first name ‘Unwaxed’, not Keith)

Shavings of Cucumber (not Gillette)

Leave to soak for a few hours (or even a day)

Drink it to sober up after a manic Däyger. 💖

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While I wait for bae to “as if by magic” be single and slide into my DMs to ask me on an actual date, I’ve decided to start eating my body-weight in dates until then, in a hope that it induces not just the labour of love but a miracle.

I’ve been obsessed with walnut cake since I ate it at a community centre last year, or the year before that… I was volunteering at a film night and there it was laid out as part of the spread, it mentally twatted me to life. The rest is history…

So, anyway, date & walnut cakes… 😋😋😋 #IDidntKnowIWasStarvingUntilITastedYou

IN (DA CLUB) GREDIENTS 🎶

  • 2 pounds worth of dates (cost and weight), (Brad) Pitted and (Karate) Chopped
  • 2 pounds English (or Brexitted) walnuts, (Michael) Korsly Chop(stick)ed
  • 1 cup of (Alan) Sugar
  • 1 tablespoon (Great British) Baking (Loose) Powder
  • 1 1/4 cups all (Justin Bieber) purpose (bouquet of one) flour
  • 4 egg(stremely good) yolks
  • 4 egg(stremely pearly) whites

HOW DO YOU… MAKE ME NOW! 🎶

Start by turning the oven ON, unless you want to eat cake batter then, A-OK. EU OK, HUN? Turn up the heat to 300 degrees, like you when you look in the mirror, bae! 😉

Grease (lightening) your pan and flour it.

In a large bowl, combine the dates (we’ve yet to go on) walnuts (which we’ve yet to paint), (Alan) sugar (we’ve yet to cane), baking powder (we’ve yet to apply on our #Flawless faces) and (a wedding bouquet of one) flour. Stir in egg yolks (puns included).

In a large glass or metal mixing bowl, beat (it like MJ, legend) the egg whites (of my eyes not tattooed) until stiff peaks start forming. Fold the whites into the fruit/nut mixture until no streaks remain. Spoon (like we should be doing sometime soon) into prepared pan.

Bake in the preheated oven for 90 minutes (not 7 Days). Let cool (ICE) in (Peter) pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely.

(The original recipes didn’t include what’s in the brackets, I just added it for the LOVE 💖)

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This review on Fiji water is extremely late.

I have been drinking this for YEARS but never thought to write about it because I just never remembered to…

Look – Buxton, Evian, Volvic, Smartwater… (when you surprise yourself at your level of understanding into the mineral/spring water industry) … They’re all good, but Fiji is by far the best imo. I love how island-ic it looks and tastes.

Not only can you see how iconic it looks, but you can taste it too. If I had to describe its taste, I’d say it’s smooth (and “mattifying” – #bblogger & #hblogger lingo) to the tastebuds. I love it. What’s more, it actually tastes exotic.

I always buy a bottle or 10 whenever I see them in a store.

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Let’s discuss the packaging, yeah? Oh wow, it’s so different to any water bottle I’ve ever seen… It actually looks like or more expensive than its cost price when in comparison with other artisan water brands. Do you know any? 😆

I’m surprised it’s not a HUGE trend on Instagram tbh. Those colourful Starbucks shakes are good, but these bottles are just as good if you ask me…

Next time you see these in a shop, pick one up and taste the difference.

You can buy them in bulk at Ocado, apparently. O C A D O, OCADO.com. 🎶

Finally, I would go as far as to say I get Fiji-ty when I haven’t had access to one of these, a coffee, a Yorkshire Tea or a selfie of your Cajunderrated SPICY, SAXY, Marvin Gaye Kareoke-inducing face. 💖

No H2O(T) beats YOU and purified water, FYI.