Here is my life’s musing blog post… I don’t even know how this is going to pan out nor how to write a ‘life’s musings’ post, but I’ll give it my best shot!
I want to discuss a few things that I have learned this year… I have to say that this year has been the biggest for me in terms of reflection. I have learned things I never knew, and grown as a person in such a way that I feel ready for my Level 26 (in three months).
“What’s meant for you won’t pass you.”
This one was the biggest lesson and has proven the ultimate. The saying above means that no matter what happens, you will always end up on the road that you are destined for. Whether we’re talking about career, health, love etc. everything that is destined for us will be ours…
Do you know the amount of times I pondered or worried about things – only to realise that there was legit no reason to do so whatsoever? I always worried that I’d not end up where I needed to be, but looking back, I realise it’s the stupidest thing! You always do. Everyone always does.
Sure, we go through things along the way, but by hook or by crook we arrive at our destination. Then again, it isn’t even our destination, but the destination that our spiritual guides have planned for us.
“What’s gone is gone.”
Why are you flogging a dead horse? Don’t. Quit that. What we need to understand is that everything happens for a reason. People meet us on our path for a purpose and a duration of time. If the chapter has ended, don’t go back and read it, no matter how good it might have been… Move on. Let it go.
Only we are permanent and our families (husband/wife or blood relatives) when TLC’d. Even spouses and blood relations need nurturing. Those relationships need to be nurtured. You need to dedicate your time/effort and communicate regularly and effectively. That’s the only way to keep those going.
Right – now for the good part… Relationship advice. From a single person i.e. ME. Good luck!
- Really take time to get to know your significant other, taking part in stuff they enjoy, and not complaining about it.
The not complaining part is the biggest teacher here. Honestly, just relish in the quality time that you’re spending with them. Don’t complain.
- Do whatever s/he asks of you with a smile
By “do whatever s/he asks”, I don’t mean if s/he’s possessive or controlling… What I mean is, all of the intimate stuff, the stuff that make them happy. Do that to please them.
- Take it in turns to share house duties
If you live together, you can even do house duties (domestic stuff) together… Share the load. It’s bonding and you’ll grow together as a couple.
- Don’t call or text or be clingy when they’re out
I’m not someone who texts or calls someone a lot anyway, but I think this one is one that may help you… If your wo/man is on a night out, don’t call or text them. Wait for them to text first. When s/he texts/calls, that’s a sure fire sign that s/he’s missing you. Obviously they’re missing you even if they don’t, at that time they’re just busy or spending time with their people. Remember: having separate outings are healthy for the relationship. Sometimes, spending too much time together can be detriment.
Be respectful of their views; learning the difference between a disagreement and an argument…
This one is SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY! I cannot stress enough the importance of knowing the difference between a disagreement and an argument… Just because you simply don’t agree on something, that doesn’t warrant a domestic and/or a full blown row! A disagreement is when you have different views on a particular topic, while an argument is usually a shouting match over something petty or complex (neither of which include clashing viewpoints). If they support Theresa May and you support Jeremy Corbyn, that is NOT an argument. That, right there, is a disagreement.
- Have regular date nights
Spending time together is important. If you’re not doing that, again, are you even together? Look, we all know that being together long-term means that the initial spark is at risk of being lost. Well, what if I told you that regular date nights keeps it burning? The reason that spark is lost is because people stop doing the stuff they did to win their significant other over. Yeah, ‘work’ and ‘kids’ are all good excuses, but they’re not always valid. There are ways to work around things. Get a babysitter.
- Focus on the little things, they’ll one day become the big things
There’s a pattern forming here… That pattern is having good attention to detail and just being fully attentive. Really focus on the little things that they do, and not taking any of them for granted. You’ll look back and realise how important it all was.
- Stick by each other even if you don’t agree with some of the stuff they do
Advising someone about something they’ve done and mentioning how you’d have done it differently is better than scolding them for it (alone or in front of others). Well, it depends – if it was proper offensive then okay, scold them (in private), but then again, why would you get with someone who’s offensive, anyway?!
The worst thing you can do is argue with your man/lady in front of others. Also, don’t run to people after an argument. It clouds their view on the person. Best thing to do is talk it out with your significant other after, to clear the air. If it’s still bothering you, ask for a second opinion. Remember to keep some things private, others don’t need to know everything.
- Learn the difference between private and secret
Everyone is going to be in a relationship/marriage at some point. It’s no secret (unless you’re a bigamist, in which case, what’s YOURS?! I can’t even get ONE FFS! 😂). Be private about your love life but not secretive. Don’t be one of those couples that posts a selfie a day and shows off what “bae has got” you for Christmas/Valentine’s Day. I can tell you now, NO ONE CARES!
- Laugh together
This one’s self explanatory… Laughter is the best medicine. Do that shizz and sprinkle it everywhere like fairy dust. It’s FREE. Doesn’t cost a thing, much like Jenny from the block’s (and my) LOVE.
Talk. A lot. All the time or as much as possible, It’s vital. Relationships are built on communication mostly.
You’ve got to trust each other and be honest with one another form the get-go or else: what are you doing?
Planning stuff is vital. It strengthens and prolongs the relationship. Plan stuff together and most importantly: do them together.
- Go on holiday
Apparently, you can find out if they’re ‘the one’ by going on a holiday with them (prior to living together). If you can stand to spend every day (for however long you go on holiday), then you’re made for each other. Congratulations.
The things you should take away from this post: don’t nag, don’t complain, argue or point score and don’t be too clingy when they’re out with other people (or in general)… Also, don’t be over jealous/zealous. Yeah, a little bit of jealousy is healthy, but if you’re going to be giving waitresses daggers just because they asked to take their order, in all honesty – you need help.
Understand that relationships aren’t traps, well, they shouldn’t be… If they don’t want to be with you, they should have that choice (as harsh as it sounds). In this case, the key is loving them enough to know that sometimes, things don’t always work out as we first thought…
Finally, balance and the importance of having your own things going on outside of the relationship. Don’t change once you go exclusive. Keep those hobbies and your personality. The worst thing you can do is lose the person that they fell in love with in the beginning. Loads of couples break up because one of them changes, no longer being the person the other fell for.
There you go, these tips will help you (I hope). If you’ve got any other tips to keep a relationship, friendship or anything else going, comment me.
Peace, love and tranquility,
(if you’re wondering how I’m still single after reading this post, your guess is as good as mine).