Lifestyle

‪We assume our parents’ lives will mirror ours. If our parents split up when we were young, we’d split up with whoever we are with later in life… Wrong.‬

‪There are parents out there who’s love stood the test of time, but ended up giving birth to children who ended up getting a divorce. Love is a personal experience, it isn’t hereditary.‬

‪Love sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t. In the same way that ‘not all love works’, not all love doesn’t not work (in other words: ‘works’).

‪The right kind of love is invincible and lasts the test of time. You just have to find the person worth putting up with. ‬

‪I’ve learned not to expect to be the person who is being put up with (because not many people can put up with me), but to actually be the person who puts up with it. Since adopting this mindset, I haven’t been disappointed.‬

‪Not all love is meant to end in a breakup, hatred/animosity. The right love lasts forever. That is what we all deserve, whether that’s individually or not. We all (individually or not) deserve better.

I’m, as I’m sure you are, tired of the same old shit. The same old story. The same old broken record. The same old circles.

Let’s all agree to accept our fears, our demons, and our limitations, because nothing will ever change unless we do.

Acceptance is the first step to ‘change’.

We’re all stubborn, nervous and lack the capability to communicate in situations. So, it is what it is, it’ll be what it’ll be.

We will always remember our first and/or deepest loves, regardless of the circumstance.

‪‪The internet, for me, is not about the amount of connections I have, it’s about the ones I know in real life.

I know I can’t talk on the subject because mine is more modest, but I’d like to think that even if I had loads, I’d still maintain the same belief.

My belief is that unless you are a brand, a business, or a well-known/recognised figure in the public eye, you shouldn’t worry abou the amount of likes/comments/connections you have. ‬

‪I blog, but I don’t blog for followers. I blog because it’s a diary (or my chance to talk about things that matter to me, or review products).

The online realm, for me, has over time become a mere distraction… It’s a filler for the lack of responsibilities I currently have.

I’m lucky in that I’m still living at home, planning on getting my first house, going to work… That’s what I live for. I don’t have the responsibilities of other people my age who might already be married or parents.

Once I marry, I’m getting straight off it because the internet does more damage than good. The online realm would’ve served its purpose in entertaining me for as long as it needed. Life is a journey. We hold on to things until we no longer should. Everything serves its purpose eventually.

So, if you take away anything from this post let it be that I cannot stress enough how unimportant it all is. Of all the online connections I’ve made, how many can I call in a crisis? Have I tried to bring certain online connections into my real life? Yes. However, none of the ones that have chosen to remain strictly online will be aware.

Also, do you really think I will allow Mark Zuckerberg et el to have photos of my future children? Facebook is the first platform I’ll remove myself from.

I don’t need the online realm. I just choose to want it for now. There’s a difference. [Yes, I went through a phase where I thought I needed it, but I had an epiphany and haven’t since – wisdom is a beautiful thing.]

Like I said, I‘ve always used the online sphere to connect to people I don’t know IRL and even as my diary. I’m so grateful for the connections I’ve made, and will continue to make – for sure. But, I used to use it as a platform to showcase my happy times, but would disappear off the face of the earth when I wasn’t happy or in a good mood. (I’d even delete posts that made me look like I was going through a hard time.)

Eventually, that mask started to slip. Because, NEWSFLASH: I am human and not happy all of the time – in fact, probably most of the time. (That’s the truth, not a sob-story. We all go through shit. I just have quite extreme mood swings. It doesn’t help that I’m a woman with hormones and periods).

I genuinely was embarrassed of my mood-swings and erratic nature, so I’d tried to hide it. But, I’m proud to announce that 28 years in, I’ve finally accepted myself, even if most don’t choose to.

I’d say that overall, I’m happy 10-20%, unhappy (in recent times) about 30-40 and an equal mix of angry, insecure, and confused with a hint of neutrality the remainder of the time…That. Is. Me. I make no apologies and won’t hide that. You shouldn’t either.

Look, the last thing I want is for people to have the wrong perception of me… Although, I’ve learned that if people are addicted to seeing us in a certain way, they’ll do it anyway, even if we go as far as dissecting ourselves in front of them…

Followers will choose to follow us regardless. People will choose to be around us IRL regardless. The followers who we know IRL are a bonus. That’s what we have to understand.

There is nothing that can keep a true person from us. What’s real can never fade, regardless of how hard we try to push it away.

To conclude, how many of our online connections can we call in a crisis? Not the ones who we don’t have IRL, right?

The web really isn’t everything – unless it’s something our career or public image depends on, in which case we’ve no choice. However, even then, we do. We’re selective about what parts we show and how we’re being marketed.

Failure is trying. At some point in your life, you tried to better yourself, tried to level up, tried to prove a point… But, you failed. Except, plot twist: you didn’t. You tried.

Failure is a sign of trying. Failure is saying: “I tried, but it wasn’t the right time, the right place or the right person to try with.”

Mark Zuckerberg, Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos, they ALL tried. They all failed, but continued to push and here they are relishing in their success. If they’d given up or stopped trying, would we have Facebook, Apple or Amazon? And, did they actually “fail”? No. They didn’t, not when you think of it in the grand scheme of things.

Coming across a few things (or ways) that don’t work isn’t failure… Least of all when you finally crack it and get to the destination.

You should not be scared of ‘failure’. You should be scared of not trying. You should be scared of not speaking up on something you feel strongly about… You should be scared of not trying to better yourself… You should be scared of not trying to level up, not failing when you try.

Regrets are a sign that I didn’t try. I’d much rather have a long list of failures in life than a long list of regrets. “What If?”, that could never be me. Looking back when I’m 70 at a life where I tried and I failed at stuff? Fine. Because, I’ve got scars both physically and emotionally to prove that. That is a life fulfilled. When I look at my grandkids at that age, I’d tell them the same. I’d instil in them that they have to “try” even if they fail for a while because ‘regrets’ are for losers. ‘Failure’ is cool.

100% of things that failed ended up leading to wins. So, what the fuck is there to be scared of?

It’s Halloween season, go find something actually scary like a ghost or some paranormal activity… Not ‘failure’.

Here’s to failing as many more times as needbe before I get it so right that no-one can deny it’s right. 🥂

Happy Diwali to all who celebrate. I, personally, don’t think Diwali is limited to just being celebrated by Hindus (I hope not anyway because I’ve celebrated it for as long as I can remember).

My mum and I went to the opening of a local bank and they were giving out Diwali candles, but they were the battery-powered LED ones… This was 5 years ago, and we still have the candles now, they still work.

If you know me, you’ll know that I love lights. However, I just recently discovered that Thomas Edison, who I thought invented lights, might have actually stolen the idea from someone else… Not sure how to feel about that, other than to not condone theft of ideas (or otherwise) and just respect the invention of light and admire it…

Anyway! Back to Diwali. For me, Diwali is not just a festival of light – but a celebration of our own human light. There’s a reason why auras come in colours, isn’t there?

So, let’s celebrate our own unique light and radiate it onto everyone who wants it shone on them (in exchange for theirs to be shone on us).

The world in general is a pretty dark place, our minds can be too. Around the world, no-one is happy… Therefore, let’s try to make ourselves (and each other) happy by radiating our own unique light and shining it bright – to the point where it’s undeniable and cannot be extinguished.

I think we need it now more than ever… Especially this time of year, I mean, today the UK had its clocks turned back an hour! This obviously means we’ll be going to work and coming home in the dark… It doesn’t help that I’m scared crapless of the dark! Waaaah!

Shine on!