His Royal Highness, he makes a DAMN good King… 😍

If you’re not a King, you’re probably a Queen and… AMSTAR-TING to get REALLY get back into this blog postage (& packaging).


I’m Bach with a post about Victoria’s most Secret venture… Fragrances. Everyone who shops at VS, shops lingerie. I don’t know many who know VS for its other stock. Firstly, its PJ (not Peanut & Jelly) selection is SOMETHING ELSE!

Alas, I’m not here to discuss this… I’m here to talk fragrance. Especially her limited-edition ‘Golden Bloom’.

Get wrapped up in limited-edition sexy-warm scents, with notes of cozy gourmand, winter woods and dark ripe fruits.

  • Golden Bloom: Warm, with warm apple and tiger orchid

  • Velvet Petals: Warm, with sweet almond glaze and creamy sandalwood

  • Dark Flora: Warm, with pomegranate and sugared woods

  • Midnight Ivy: Warm, with rum raisins and amber woods

I love perfume, but- I’m the hardest (or easiest) to please because I love both fruity and floral scents.

I can never choose. I like them all, end up choosing one, and then regret my choice. So, imagine my QUELLE SURPRISE! when I discovered that VS (the FULL ON FLAMBAE OF THE RETAIL MARKET) sells a fruit & floral hybrid body mist?! Mate. Mateo. Mattise. Matrimony. Mattress. Metamorphic rock. Igneous.

That’s another thing (that has absolutely nothing to do with sedimentary)… I’m not even going to pretend that I didn’t USE TO have the tendency to overspray myself to the point where your nostrils could tell I was on my way from the Arctic (if you’re based in Australia). With “Golden Bloom”, this is no longer an issue.

That’s right, it’s a very soft and subtle scent. I’d like to say it smells like flowers and coconut. It’s honestly the most exotic thing I’ve ever smelled/smelt/s’mores. I love it.

Oh, let’s get on to my other favourite part about this… The packaging. Two trillion percent (by the time I’m 80) I’ll have the bottle’s design tattooed all over my body. My aim is to look like the Garden of Eden before I (hopefully) go there, God willing!

Okay, back to the scent itself… VS describes it as a “sexy” “forest” smell… Now, I don’t know how long you’ve been keeping up with this blog for (if you keep up with it at all), but I LOVE FORESTS!

I mean, I’d never go into one now… But, I just love the idea of them. Knowing that there’s a place where there are SO MANY TREES makes me so happy (them being cut down NOT AT ALL).

I also love what I imagine forests to smell like… Like a woodland. Oak. Fresh air. Squirrel poop. Deer wee. EVERYTHING. (probably not the two latter things before “EVERYTHING”).

Let’s take things back to VS’ description… I have to say that I didn’t really get the whole “forest” thing… Because, what forest has VS been to that smells like coconuts? Then again, I’m not a connoMansour of forests. Green houses/rooms, maybe. Forests? Not so much

In a nutshell, put Golden Bloom around your nostrils when you get the chance. You might like it. If you don’t, sorry.

I don’t usually do this and get no enjoyment out of it but: if you’re one of the 0.00000000000000000000000000001% that would like to rant about my content and how “I need to learn to distinguish truth from fiction”, email: complaint@MiamiiGivesADiarrhea.NOT

I don’t like ending (or anything-ing) with negativity, so… *watches something hysterical on YouTube/TV/streams it online* I feel like everybody should do the same. If everyone followed suit, there’d be less animosity.


I’m excited. I’ve just signed up to a monthly subscription of GLOSSYBOX!

I covered it in a previous blog post, expressed interest but didn’t know if I was going to go through with it because I wasn’t sure if I was going to like all of the products that they send over every month. However, I just decided to go through with it and place an order, I’m sure I’ll enjoy what I get sent, and will be sure to blog about the products afterwards.

I’ve seen a few of you ladies have a subscription with GLOSSYBOX, how are you finding the samples? I know everybody’s different and each box is customised, but you must know if you like the stuff that’s getting sent to you each month, no?

Also, I’m guessing they send out special gift boxes on our birthdays because why else would they ask for it, right? What sort of stuff have they put in yours previously?

In other news, my long awaited Hair Jazz post is coming next week. I will be doing a TeaMi tea one as well soon, I’ve just been too busy to give it a go – but I’m working on it…


Jimmy Chooooooooooo(n)’s Exotic is something quite extraordinary…

Imagine Jimi Hendrix and imagine a perfume. Put them together and what do you get? Jimmy Choo (probably).

Putting the BAE in BASS since I don’t even know when… 

If you want to smell like you’ve been frolicking in the Caribbean, this is definitely for you. Everyone loves a good Mango, don’t they? This one smells like that, pretty much…

For me, it’s the fact that it’s a strong fruity scent that reminds me of summer in a hot country that makes me like it more than someone who migh not likely be a fan. Obvs.

The packaging is a cute spherical bottle that is burnt orange in colour. You can see Jimmy Choo’s name engraved on it too.

Today is the first day of Spring and National Fragrance Day, so why not spray some Jimmy Choo Exotic on? It’ll bring Summer round faster…

This fragrance’s top notes are are blackcurrant and grapefruit. The middle notes are passion flower and orchid, with the BAEse notes being patchouli and raspberry.

Ladies, your fragrance ain’t got a PATCH(ouli) on this! 😉


Justin Bieber’s song Cold Water is often confused with this cologne. A little FYI, I’d have the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge happen to me every second of my daily life for you – I wouldn’t JUST “jump into cold water”…

I love a bit of Davidoff Cool Water. I like the name Davidoff, sounds spiritual, like: David & Goliath! Some superheroes don’t wear capes, Dave being one of them! 🙏

I don’t know a thing about male’s cologne, but I do know a “NAWTY” scent when I smell one. I see Lynx on the shelf and I’m like: “Oh, okay.” So, guys, just do “whatever sprays your scent”, and when you have a fragrance that gets complimented or sticks to your clothes, that’s when you know you’ve found The One. *BRB as I turn into your fragrant smelling liquid in spray form*

Davidoff Cool Water. I bought it for my brother like YEARS ago and I’ll never forget it. It smelled cool. No, really. Look, I know it’s called ‘Cool Water’, but it actually smells like COOL FRESHNESS. I really like it, it’s understated and subtle but it does the trick.

Also, if I remember correctly, it’s a blue bottle. You know what happens when I see anything blue, don’t you? Nothing, I just stare at it and think: “Y U PRETTY?” 😍 much like every time I see a selfie of SOS (and I don’t mean a screenshot taken from Rihanna’s video).

Back to Davidoff Cool Water. If you want it, get it, if you don’t, it’s okay, I like it enough for the both of us. I’m sure you smell INSANELY GOOD anyway!

Side note: I’m sure if Davidoff Cool Water was given the power of personification, it’d be smiling all the time – that exact smile.


Viktor & Rolf‘s BonBon … (or as I like to call it: “Boom Boom”)!

If you’d like to know what I’ve smelt like for two whole years then look no further than this… Side note: you’re also a tad strange, if so! Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure I’ve wondered what you smell like too… 😂

Anyway, it’s so sweet and sticks to me like superglue. If I spray some on Monday, I can still smell it on my clothes by Wednesday. What happens on Thursday? I spray it again and smell it until Sunday. #7Days #CraigDavid #ReReWind #TheCrowdSayBonBonSelecta (it from John Lewis, Boots or The Perfume Shop).

That, right there, is the sign of a good perfume.

A timeless sensation pure and absolute pleasure. For women who create their own story.

Caramel characterizes the scent’s evolution, from inception to completion, the caramel notes mature from a sharp, edible top note to softer and milkier in the middle then darkening to add depth to the base note of amber, all surrounded by heart notes are of orange blossom and jasmine.

What is Viktor & Rolf’s BonBon shaped like? A beautiful pinky-purple bow.

How much does it cost? £40-something, but the fact that it’s a very strong scent means you only need to spray it once.

My stunningly-amazing mother (JHEEZE! The word “Mother” sounds a little too strong for this post… #Mummy #Motherbear #Momstar #Momski #Momitis 😂) bought it for me in 2014 and I’ve still got it (and it’s half-full) almost three years on!

Yeah, so, Viktor & Rolf, buy into it. #BonBon #SweetLikeBonBon #BonBonBonIWantYouInMyRoom #BonBonBonding