Fashion

IKEA

Does anyone know if IKEA or fashion brands know that we’re now in May? Why are they acting like it’s April Fool’s Day and as though it’s been dragging on for over a month now?!

‘Yeezy’ has apparently released IKEA trainers. WHAT THE ‘FLIBBERTIGIBBET’ IS GOING ON?!

I heard of that Balenciaga bag selling for $2,000+ even though it looked identical to IKEA’s who are selling their ‘Frakas’ (the bag) at $0.90). Now, even Kanye West is cashing in. WHAT?

Then again, we can’t be too surprised – his style is something else entirely. There’s little love lost though ’cause he made a name for himself through making music not clothes.

I’m all for IKEA, I have nothing against the store or their colour scheme (blue is my favourite colour, and yellow is one of), quality of products or bags but I think creating garments out of them is a tad weird, isn’t it? Look, just look at the face mask in the picture above and tell me that’s normal.

Yes, I know Moschino have phone cases in the shape of McDonald’s fries but that’s creative… That’s just making us look less addicted to technology and more like we’re potato addicts. I love potato. Potato is life, especially McDonald\s fries potatoes. YUM. But IKEA branded clothing? The world has lost it. Thing is, the trainers would look so much better if they didn’t have a furniture/homewear store’s logo on them.

This is why I have no interest in commercial/mainstream fashion.

Giving credit where it’s due, IKEA are bossing their marketing campaign strategy. Legends.

Polyvore

The one who doesn’t do ‘fashion’ is blogging about fashion twice in the space of one day That’s what’s happening.

As I hang my head over my toilet like a drunk, hungover or pregnant person, here’s my review on Polyvore.

One of my besties introduced me to this app, and tbh I’m very impressed. As you must know by now, I usually buy clothes around Christmas time – sometimes not at all… I actually still own outfits that I fitted into at the age of 16, no lie.

The way I look at it is – I own a washing machine. So, clothes go inside of that washing machine, as does fabric softener/detergent. Join us here tomorrow for a review of Calgon – ’cause “washing machines live longer with” them. “BANG and the limescale* is gone!” Oops, sorry, wrong ad…

Back to Polyvore, the app for those who lack fashionista/beautista qualities. Basically, what this app says to me is that I’m someone who doesn’t know how to put an outfit/look together, so – rather than wracking my four and a half braincells trying to choose various garments/makeup to match, just use Polyvore. It’s simpler and easier to mix & match, showing you exactly where you should be purchasing clothes/cosmetics from.

I love it. I don’t think colour co-ordination has ever been my weakness – neither has outfit choosing -but I think it’s good to know the latest fashion trends, even if I’m going to go against them… It’s got to be said that I love the smart-casual options I’m seeing on there, unlike seeing a bank balance of £0.20p. 😆

There you go, I love Polyvore, a lot vore than I thought I would… Poly, Poly, Poly! Vore, Vore, VORE! When life gives you Polies ask for VORE.

Polyvore

Eva Bra

Wow. If this story doesn’t tug at your heartstrings so hard that they come off, are you human?

So, a Mexican student called Julian Rios Cantu was 13 when his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to go through a DOUBLE mastectomy! The family’s life changed forever, and it’s affected the poor guy so much that he promised to revolutionise the diagnosis of breast cancer, preventing mastectomies for other women.

At the age of 18, Julian and his three friends created ‘Eva’, the sensory bra that monitors the shape, texture, colour, and temperature of each breast – to determine whether there are cancerous cells that could put women at risk.

If you’re looking for more information on this bra, there’s a video posted onto Higia Technologies (the company that Julian has founded) explaining how it works and was made.

Eva is made up of 200 small, tactile biosensors that map out the surface of each breast and its results recorded via the bra and sent to an app, alerting the wearers of changes.

In the video it states that customers only need to wear Eva for one hour a week to have the results registered. Cantu dreams of Eva being less painful than mammograms, giving better results than an ultrasound. He’s also dubbed it the: “autoexploration bra”.

Want to find out more? Click here to watch the Spanish video tutorial.

Yes, the Eva bra might just be a prototype right now, but I think it’s a brilliant idea that’ll gain large, widespread funding. Want to stay in the loop? Subscribe the Higia Technologies’ newsletter now – available in English and Spanish.

I think Julian deserves a Mexican knighthood. What an absolute teen prodigy, and inventorial legend. The student turned entrepreneur has gone on to win the top prize at the Global Student Entrepreneur Awards in Germany.

Show off and increase cleavage with our Perfect Sculpt Silicon Bra. Always see celebrities with that perfect cleavage? That’s because they use our Breast Lift bra. Why not use that extra boost? 😉

Silicone, strapless and invisible!

Bra is Reusable 50 – 100 times!

HOW TO USE:

1- Remove bra from box.
2- Loosen the clip on ties partially.
2- Place bra on your breasts.
3- Pull end of string ties, while pulling up the clip.
4- Enjoy the lift!

PERFECT SCULPT STRAPLESS BRA is the most popular bra on Facebook right now… So, I tried it, didn’t I? Of course I did.

Yes, I’m relatively flat chested, but I thought this would be a good purchase because it’d lift my (barely there) chest, in a hope that it’d make it look a little fuller… Needless to say it didn’t.

For one, it’s extremely sticky and uncomfortable! I know it’s called a ‘stick-on bra’ but I wasn’t expecting it to rip my skin off! There’s GLUE on the fabric – so it’s not silicone!

Basically – if you want a comparison, it left like the SHILLS mask and/or wax all over again, this time for the breasticles. Therefore, not only am I facially skinned but chest-ally too. Great.

Look, if you have fuller breasts, it might work better for you… However, I’d like to warn you – it’s a gluey bra, so if the two cups end up closing into one another, it’s hard to separate them. Also, don’t leave the bra out without packaging it back up because the glue will dry out (if it’s not covered with the plastic it comes with).

As you can tell from this post, I didn’t like it at all. I don’t like writing negative reviews, but I feel like I’ve got to save you from buying something that I found to be a scam. It didn’t work for me. It’s a rip-off. The videos you’re seeing is probably some next CGI sh*t.

Shall I tell you what else I didn’t like? The whole shopping experience. The website stated that I’d be paying for a set of three, only one arrived. [Thank God though… If three had arrived I’d be throwing them all in the bin]. What’s more, I ordered a nude coloured one but a black one was delivered… I tried it once but the adjustable strings didn’t work – I didn’t notice a difference in lift nor an increase in volume.

It may well be that my chest being small is to blame for this bra’s uselessness but I wanted to try it nonetheless – I did, and it didn’t work for me. I wasn’t happy. It cost me $19.99 and it was crap, leaving be breastless.

Tu Clothing

When Sainsbury’s no longer *just* your go-to for groceries…

Woah. Hold me back. Hold me so back that I look like I’m at the front (somehow).

Can I get a “GRACIAS?!” … I would say AMEN but umm… Today, I want to switch it up.

I’m legitimately obsessed. Extremely obsessed that if someone asked me why I’m ‘obsessed’, I’d just reply with: “’cause OCD summoned me to their HQ and BOOM! There. It happened.”

Anyway, yeah, if you’re looking for Summery PJs, Tu Clothing from Sainsbury’s might have to get a visit! No, really…

You know that song: “you go to Tesco’s, where you get your best clothes”? Well, I’ve upgraded and I’m rocking Sainsbury’s bedroom attire for now!

“DRESS WELL, FOR LESS”. Yes, I know it’s “LIVE” but come on! You can’t “LIVE” an outfit, can you? … You can live IN an outfit, though!

God (and my whole University together with its students/lecturers) knows I LIVED in a blue Hollister hoodie for THREE YEARS! But, like, it’s Spring – and Summer’s coming up, so I can’t wear hoodies, unless I want to Sweat more than Bet(ty)…

What else have I got to say? Visit Sainsbury’s.

Buy some really orange, blue, coral PJs and live life the the full.

Life is everything. Live it the way you want, with the people you want.

When you can’t think of anything to write, just include some lyrics to one or two of your favourite songs:

“Yeah, uh-huh, you know what it is
Black and yellow, black and yellow
Black and yellow, black and yellow

Yeah, uh-huh, you know what it is
Black and yellow, black and yellow
Black and yellow, black and yellow

“He’s too hot (hot damn)
Call the police and the fireman
He’s too hot (hot damn)
Make a dragon wanna retire man
He’s too hot (hot damn)”

Gotta kiss himself he’s so pretty.