TV

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I am flabbergasted to hear that there was a debate on ITV‘s ‘This Morning‘, where someone claimed that the ways in which victims of sexual assault dress play a part in whether a perpetrator is going to perpetrate!

I am appalled that we live in such a society where we still believe the way people carry themselves, dress, talk or behave makes them a target of such atrocious crimes.

In publicly declaring such a misogynistic claim, we are taking a percentage of fault from the perpetrator. So, where a perpetrator should be 100% liable for their crimes, they become something like 65% liable simply because someone decided that dressing “provocatively” adds to the “risk”. Sorry,  correct me if I’m wrong, but – should there even be a risk in the first place?!?!

There is a sad reminder every day in the newspapers we read and magazines we pick up that women, men, children, and teenagers (boys and girls) across the World have been victims of abuse (sexual, physical and the like).

Are you telling me that a baby is dressing “provocatively”? Are you telling me a man in a suit or woman in a blouse and smart trousers is dressed “provocatively” on their way to work? Are you telling me that students in school-uniform are dressed “provocatively”?

I know a man who was on the London Underground, standing on the escalators, he was sexually assaulted by another man in broad daylight! (this man was wearing a suit, carried a briefcase and was going to work at the time).

Dressing up (or down) has no part to play in a crime. The sad reality is, if someone is in the vicinity of a perpetrator or at-risk perpetrator, and they are in their sights, it’s going to happen. 💔

Rather than claiming “women’s attire” is to blame, we should be putting full blame on the criminals and educating everyone on the dangers of rape, as well as the different types of sexual assaults. If that’s not possible (which it totally is – even though we shouldn’t have to as it should be a known fact), then the Govs. should lock-up perpetrators and/or people at risk of perpetrating.

What’s more, pubs, bars, and clubs should refuse to serve at-risk perpetrators with alcoholic drinks on-tap for fear that this could lead to an offence… Because, if “dressing less provocatively” will lower the chances of rape, then so will not providing perpetrators with “excessive amounts of alcohol” and prohibiting them from “attending events deemed as risk-inducing”.

Bottom line is: when one goes to the beach, we are dressed in bikinis, swimsuits or trunks which, in essence, are outer versions of underwear. Does that mean we are inviting others to touch us? What do misogynists dress like when they’re at the beach, in a North Face jacket, seven pairs of leggings and 10 jumpers?

Tragically, even women in the Middle East who wear burkas are at risk.

Please, misogynists, really think before you claim a statement like that.

Sadly and pathetically, we live in a society where animals are dressed as humans. That’s what’s going wrong with the World as we know it. Every one of us needs to be vigilant – but that doesn’t mean sacrificing a night out or wearing every garment of clothing we have in our wardrobes just as a precaution. All you need is a can of Pepper Spray, learning martial-arts as self-defence, or downloading a safety app where you can press a button to alert the emergency services.

Don’t let anyone tell you how to dress, just be cautious and protect yourselves (and each other).

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Me with My ‘Red Nose’.

Hi guys and dolls,

We are taking part in Comic Relief‘s Red Nose Day, this year! I love everything to do with fundraising, curing causes or creating a better future for others… Then again, doesn’t everybody? There is a real sense of accomplishment attached to knowing that you have helped better at least one person’s life by donating.

For those of you who don’t know, Comic Relief is a National UK Charity and it runs an annual fundraising night where celebrities and civilians get together to raise money for various causes and issues that we face both in society and across the World.

The Red Nose Day celebrations are broadcast on TV, similarly to BBC‘s Children In Need.

We were asked to choose our own Red Noses last week, at random… I chose one like the rest of them. Guess which one I get? The “Nose-It-All”. Not sure if that’s an omen for “try not to looks like you know everything when you clearly don’t” or if it’s just a case of mere coincidence. Either way, I don’t know much, but I do know a hair wash and/or brush wouldn’t go amiss (if the picture above is anything to go by).

This year, Comic Relief’s Red Nose Day falls on the 23rd March. I’m excited but am wanting your help. I need ideas for what to do to raise money! Bake sale? Sponsored activity? … Any cool or quirky ideas are welcome!

Love,

Miamii

xxx

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Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie appears in Boots’ No7 advert

Boots‘ new No7 advert is one to watch and remember… If you havent seen it yet, get watching by clicking on the red and white play button above. I mean, let’s face it, you’re going to want to see this because it’s got the World’s leading feminist, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, fronting it.

Firstly, as a lady, I’d like to start by saying that even I hate the term “feminism” because it makes it sound as though we, females, put ourselves above the male population. That is not true in the slightest! Feminism, in essence, is about equality; the ability to be equals in society, because right now (and previously) that has sadly not been the case… Women should be allowed to do a “man’s job”. Women should be allowed to receive as much pay as a man earns when working in the same role. Females should not be seen as the inferior gender because there shouldn’t even be an inferior:superior ratio to begin with. Feminism isn’t about “us”, it’s about “equality”. Rant over!

Chimamanda, the Nigerian world-renowned and award-winning author who has appeared on Ted Talks‘We Should All Be Feminists‘, which featured in Beyoncé’s ‘Flawless‘ track, is the woman that every lady should aspire to be. She is an ambassador for women’s rights and knows all too well the difficulties we face in employment and society in general.

As far as adverts about female empowerment and validation go, this one is by far the strongest. It sends a clear message that us girls don’t need to “not wear makeup” or “hide” our “high heels” to “be taken seriously”. We should be allowed to exist in a society that accepts us because makeup “doesn’t mean anything, it’s just makeup”. You know what (or who) means something? The lady wearing it. She who wears it, how she composes herself, how she carries herself, how she feels, what she says… Makeup is just an enhancement to our natural beauty, it’s nothing more than that. High heels and/or fitted clothes the same…

It saddens me that Chimamanda ever had to stop wearing makeup and high heels in order to get noticed. But, luckily, she “woke up” and realised that in not doing so she was portraying a “false version” of herself. For many of us, makeup and clothes give us confidence. That’s not to say we’re not confident in our skin, we just happen to love make-up and enjoy looking our best.

I’m extremely glad that she is discussing our relationship with makeup because it’s only skin-deep. Society thinks it runs deeper than that, but it really doesn’t. Let it be a known fact that we are not wearing makeup to “impress someone”, we are not wearing makeup to seduce others, we wear it because we want to.

Speaking in her Ted Talk, Adichie said that the word feminist was “so heavy with baggage, negative baggage. You hate men, you hate bras, you hate African culture.” Instead, she said, she wanted to be identified as a “happy African feminist who does not hate men and who likes lip gloss and who wears high heels for herself but not for men”.

“Sadly, women have learnt to be ashamed and apologetic about pursuits that are seen as traditionally female, such as fashion and make-up.

Chimamanda recently shared a 9,000 word speech on Facebook where she described how best to raise a feminist daughter. You can read it in full HERE.

A snippet of it reads: “If she likes make-up let her wear it; if she likes fashion let her dress up. But if she doesn’t like either let her be … Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive. It is misogynistic to suggest that they are.

“Sadly, women have learnt to be ashamed and apologetic about pursuits that are seen as traditionally female, such as fashion and make-up.”

During her Ted Talk, Chimamanda also mentioned the pressure of attempting to look less feminine before teaching her first writing class for fear that she wouldn’t be taken seriously.

She said: “I really wanted to wear my shiny lip gloss and my girly skirt but I decided not to.

“Instead I wore a very serious, very manly, and very ugly suit. Because the sad truth is that when it comes to appearance, we start off with men as the standard, as the norm.
“If a man is getting ready for a business meeting, he doesn’t worry about looking too masculine, and therefore not being taken seriously.

“If a woman is getting ready for a business meeting she has to worry about looking too feminine, and what it says, and whether or not it will be taken seriously.”

That is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard… Imagine having to change what you wear for fear of not being listened to? The thought alone is beyond heartbreaking.

When thinking about it, anyone who has ever used the quote: “you can tell a lot about a lady by the way they dress” is being unintentionally sexist, not to mention incorrect. Clothes and makeup are luxuries, they are not necessities. The foundations of life are built on who we are, how we treat people, and the ways in which we act and not which brand of concealer we use. A lady who chooses to dress up and show up is more-often-than-not a lady who has enough time (or makes it) to get ready because she likes taking care of her appearance.

A teacher of mine once said: “if you look good, you feel good and if you feel good, you do good”, never a truer word spoken.

So, ladies, let this advert be a turning point for us in a hope that we begin to be taken seriously with or without makeup on our faces and heels on our feet. Also, this is in no way an advert that’s forcing women to wear makeup. Alicia Keys has rocked the no makeup look for years and we salute her.

Instead, this advert is supposed to empower those that do wear makeup yet feel less worthy than a man who just turns up to work in the same job but gets paid a larger salary or listened to more carefully. It’s also not a dig at men — far from it. Men, you are legends, we love and respect you wholeheartedly. We just want to be seen as equals. We just want there to be no gender inequality, we are one!