Cosmetics

Glossybox

I wasn’t going to blog about GLOSSYBOX because I wasn’t a fan of much… However, I’ve since changed my mind because some of them actually that bad. They might be useless for me, but they might be useful for you.

Merci Handy

Let’s start with the hand sanitiser. I need this when travelling on TfL. Trust me, I catch germs like Ash does Pokémon. So, it’s got to stop!

Merci Handy helps to a degree… It’s French, is rose gold in colour and seems pretty good? I’m not a hand gel connoisseur, I haven’t got any idea about how good it actually is…

As far as I know, it has one job, to kill the bacteria but keep it on our hands – until we can get to sink. That’s it. Oh, and it smells like perfumed alcohol.

Merci for reading.

Rodial Glamolash XXL

Yeah, okay, I’m going to say it – I wasn’t expecting much from this mascara…

Aside from the fact I’m very picky when it comes to mascaras, I have worn Rodial before, in the form of a foundation, and it didn’t agree with me.

I’ve got to say that I wasn’t expecting to be blown away by this… I was even reluctant to try it. Boy was I wrong. It’s lovely. Again, I’m not saying it’s the best I’ve ever used, I’m just saying it’s good.

It contains beeswax which helps with the conditioning of our lashes, carnauba wax which evens and fans them out and soluable collagen which works to provide full volume and body to them.

It’s a nice little sample, but I doubt I’ll be buying again…

The wand is nice and thin, just how I like it. I’d say it’s good for long lashed girls like myself, and even better for those with shorter lashes I’d suspect.

The most important thing about mascaras (for me) has to be the deep, dark colour. Rodial’s Glamolash XXL provides just that.

Models Co. Contour Stick

This one felt like I was applying Crayola on my cheekbones. Nah, it isn’t for me… I don’t do drawing on cheekbones, never have and won’t be starting anytime soon.

I’m sure it’s a great little tool for artists (of the makeup variety), but I can’t even draw a wing of eyeliner. I have no hope trying to draw contour.

Sorry, if we were on Family Fortunes you’d be hearing the BUZZER.

Also, while I’m here – GLOSSYBOX, the colour you gave me was horrendous… It was brown, sparkly, and I looked like I’d smeared glittery shit on my face. Nah, soz. I ain’t ’bout that life.

Elgon Deliwash Haircare Cleansing Conditioner Co-Wash

Oh! This one has to be my favourite of all of the Glossybox samples I received! Let’s face it, two out of four were abysmal, and another was a hand sanitiser, so… I mean, come on!

This smells lush, makes my hair feel soft and look shinier.

Mind you, I’ve just dyed my hair with L’Oréal’s Casting Creme Gloss (with Royal Jelly), if my hair gets any shinier, people’ll think it’s Rudolph’s nose a few months late (or early).

Yeah, I’d probably invest in this. It’s a definite maybe.

Again, like everything else in this month’s box, I wasn’t expecting much from this… However, it pleasantly surprised me. Well done, GLOSSYBOX.

SportFX Brow Pencil

I gave this one to my mum. I do not need it, one bit… My eyebrows are thick and black as it is… If I was to use this on top of them, I’d look like the night sky.

Another thing, I have experience of drawing my eyebrows (and lips) in with a pencil, the end result wasn’t pretty…. I looked like what would happen if Ru Paul’s Drag Race and a clown procreated.

My mum might be pleased with it though because her eyebrows aren’t as dark as mine, and she might actually know how to use it professionally. I’ll ask her and get back to you.

Final note: if it’s got Sport in the title, give it to the likes of Usain Bolt or Mo Farah, they’ll put it to good use.

To conclude, the best things about this box was the mascara and the conditioner. The hand sanitiser? Are you serious? You want me to get excited over that? It’s good but come on… Don’t even get me started on that Crayola Glitter shit thing! The brow pencil I’m indifferent on ’cause I never used it (and won’t).

Our must-have tool for achieving a flawless, airbrushed looking base.

Introducing our very first foundaton blending sponge. The Total Cover Foundation Blender has a pointed tip for those hard to reach areas (like under the eyes and around the nose) and a flat surface to press foundation into the skin for a streak-free, airbrushed looking finish.

L'Oréal Beauty Blender

I’m going to let you finish what I start but… Can I get a “WAS THAT YOU ON BAE STATION?!”

Very few times do I sound like I’ve had 70 jägers, or thereabouts… Today, is one of those times. You know aphrodisiacs? Euphoria? Delirium? Endorphins? Adrenalin? …

All the good feels that come with thinking of someone who’s a complete and utter infinity spice times infinity squared? Yes, that’s what happens when I think about bae.

If he was German, which he isn’t (I don’t think?), I’d be German WHIPPED! I don’t do whipped though… Just, the figure of speech.

Anyway, enough about bae (for a few sentences at least), let’s move on to the actual L’Oréal Beauty Blender that I should’ve reviewed a long time ago but hadn’t got round to. Look, it’s absolutely more sanitary and hygienic than using a boiled egg. So, DOUZE POINTS, L’Oréal!

I use it when I can and I’ve never had a problem. What do I mean by ‘when I can’? When I get up early enough, and am energetic enough to apply makeup ‘pon the skin that fits my skull like a glove. LEGENDARY!

Alright, so – wet it, apply the foundation on your face with your fingers, then blend. That’s the magic of this beauty blender. It’s a Beauty, and he’s Bae. The Beauty (Blender) of a Bae. The packaging is gloriously chic, I didn’t expect anything less from L’Oréal. Also, the Beauty Blender is black which means it won’t stain – or it will but won’t show. RESULT (or several)!

I’ve literally run out of things to say… Therefore, I’m just going to randomly type stuff that come to mind… Chicken, dogs, unicorns, latte, love, cats, Twix, Halloumi, Red Wine, White Wine, De Christ Wine, Come Dine, Bae, BaeBae, Baeyond Bae, Baeoncé, Baelerus, I Baet you any money that I love Bae more than Bae loves Bae. How much Bae would a Bae chuck at Bae, if Bae could chuck Baes at Bae? Bae. Bae for now, tomorrow, the next day, a few years from now and then eternity.

NYX

I feel like Dhabing when I’m wearing this lipstick tbh… If I was caught doing the Dhab with it on, I wouldn’t even be embarrassed. Except, no one would see it, because my arms would be covering it.

NYX Soft Matte Lip Cream, all £6.99 (?) of it, from Boots, has to be the best nude shade I’ve ever bought. If anyone asked me to send them nudes, I’d probably send them pouty selfies of myself, fully clothed (wearing every garment to enter my wardrobe) whilst wearing this on my lips. I really need to move away from this topic, don’t I? 😂

This Lip Cream’s shade is one of the only things I like about it… I’m not going to lie to you, the doe-foot applicator thing is of rubbish quality and so’s the packaging. it just looks cheap and is so mini. For £6.99 (or whatever it is I paid), I’m not happy with the packaging… I wasn’t expecting it to be gold plated and hold 1,400kg of formula, but I also wasn’t expecting it to be so small and cheap looking.

Having said that, I also like the smell of it – it’s like ice cream. Another thing I love is the look and feel of it (on my lips). It’s smooth, and doesn’t dry my lips out like Kylie’s would (if I put more than one layer on).

NYX’s matte lipstick is also good for over-lining your lips… If I were to take a lip-liner to my pancake flat lips, I’d look like Pete Burns. It’d look odd af! Instead, I over-line them using matte liquid lipsticks.

All in all, if you’re looking for a good lipstick, this isn’t a bad choice. Remember – for £6.99, it’s smaller than expected and cheap/tacky looking.

Also, if you’re into a little bit of MJ, here are some lyrics that describe what bae does to me…

The way he makes me feel
(The way he make mes feel)
He really turns me on
(He really turns me on)
He knock me off of my feet
(He knock me off of my feet)

– my lonely days are still here. 

L'Oréal Lip Paint

Hey you mighty fine lot,

You know what today is – right? Another day where I blog! Have you heard that age old saying: “L’O (and BEHOLD these matte lip paints are) RÉAL(LY something special!”? It’s a great saying!

L’Oréal, aside from being the be-all-and-end-all of life, is the be-all-and-end-all of makeup brands. I was proclaiming my love for not only them but their BB Creams, just yesterday…

Today, I decided I wanted to invest in one of their lip paints, and I did. I got one in shade: “Red, actually”.

My verdict: it was “Love at first wear”, actually! I put it in on and became ‘La Vie En Rose’ or ‘La dame en rouge’… In keeping with the French theme, “vous le valez bien”. 💖

What I love about these Paints: they’re matte. Bold. Long-lasting. They come in a modest (but awesome !!) range of colours, so there’s one for everyone…

Other things I love: it’s good… Smells nice… Is made up of a good “formula” (like F1, Team Mercedes and Lewis Hamilton, innit?)…

The only thing I have to point out – I found it very difficult to tell the difference between a tester and a new one.

The ones in the Boots which I visited were open (?) I’m not sure if that’s the idea they had in mind. I understand why L’Oréal would do this though because people spend their lives complaining about the over-sealing of makeup products… We can’t seem to open them half the time (mascaras [in general] especially)!

Recognised last words of this post: bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae…

Bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae…

Bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae, bae; so bae that I can’t even bae anymore! Oh wait – bae.

30 Beauty Questions Tag

I enjoyed the ‘Tattoo Tagso much that I’ve decided to do another one… However, I’m now turning my attentions to Beauty..

Do you remember your first makeup item?

I actually do! I think my first makeup product was the Maybelline Super Stay 16 Hour Foundation in 300 shades too dark and about 700 layers too thick. That was Mii… Haters would say I looked like an acne-sufferer who resembled TanMom!

Describe your perfect mascara. Have you found one that fits your specifications?

I have to say that my favourite ever mascara has to be the Masterpiece Transform by MaxFactor. This one suits my lashes perfectly and to a T. It lengthens, it curls, it thickens and it darkens… I love everything about it. Even the thin wand…

What kind of coverage do you prefer from foundation?

Matte and flawless coverage – but I don’t mind if a blemish is still be visible. Also, I wouldn’t say no to a few glowing areas… However, I don’t want to look like I’ve been doing nothing but performing the act of facial perspiration all day!

Favourite high end brand?

Christian Dior. It’s one of them ones that can show all the other high-end ones the Door

What cosmetic brands have you always wanted to try but still haven’t?

Kiko Milano, Kat Von D, Shiseido, Sephora, Origins.

Favorite drugstore brand?

L’Oréal (or Bourjois). I have a thing for the Parisienne.

Do you wear fake eyelashes?

Nope. I literally can’t even contemplate fake lashes or a metal eyelash curler. My lashes are my eyes’ life… If I put glue on them to put extra lashes on, my real OGs will real COME OFF!

Is there any kind of makeup you can’t leave the house without?

I’ve left my house looking like I shouldn’t have left or that I don’t have one to leave plenty of times… So, in a word, no.

What is your most cherised beauty product?

My L’Oreal Men Expert Tattoo Reviver. I’m not even going to *tattoo* coat it… There, I said it! 😉

How often do you shop for makeup? Do you like to pick up an item here and there or get lots of goodies at once?

I shop often for makeup and food. I think makeup comes before food. I pick up items here or there and/or hoard them here or there as well. I’d buy a product, forget about it, think I’ve lost it when I remember, then find it again – out of date…

Do you have a “beauty budget” or you spend freely? 

I’m moving into my own place at the end of the year, so, no – I can’t afford to not budget.

Do you utilize coupons, rewards cards and sales when you shop for cosmetics?

Nah. I’m awful at this. I should, but I don’t. I just A) never remember to and B) don’t see the point because realistically they’re making you spend more than you need to. Having said that, one thing I do love, is my mum’s Boots’ card. 😍😍😍.

Is there a brand that you absolutely can’t stand?

If I don’t like a brand, I won’t blog about it or use its products… If I love a brand, I blog about it. If they have a product that doesn’t agree with me, I’m honest.

Do you avoid certain ingredients in cosmetics like parabens or sulfates?

There’s only so much you can actually do to prevent ingredients… I just try to use the most natural of products or products that have a high % of natural ingredients in them.

Do you have a favorite place to shop for makeup?

Boots/Superdrug. I get lost in there. Sometimes when I need Dior, I venture into Fenwick or John Lewis and can never find the exit. I mean, how does one find the exit of one of those?

Do you like trying new skincare products or do you keep a certain routine?

I love trying new ones, but I think it’s best – for my skin – to stick to a routine because I don’t want my skin to breakout again. It was awful.

Favorite bath and body brand?

L U S H. It’s, umm, LUSH.

What brand do you think has the best packaging?

Guerlain. That packaging though… Also, LANCÔME is up there too, tbh.

Which celebrity always has great makeup?

Vanessa Hudgens or Kate Middleton.

5 Favorite Beauty Gurus

What? 😆

I’m supposed to say who I look up to for makeup? Myself, I reckon I do good makeup on myself and just about no-one else. Charlotte Tilbury. HudaBeauty. Jenna Marbles (if she was to do a makeup video). My neighbours’ cat? I’m sure she’ll be good at it if I train her. 💖

Do you like multifunctional products like lip and cheek stains?

That’s like asking me if I like bidets. I love bidets.

Are you clumsy in putting on makeup?

Do you mean: “have you left dents in your eye where you pupil used to be (whilst putting on mascara)”? If so, yes.

 Do you use makeup base/primer for the eyes?

The only things I ever wear on my eye are creams, mascara and eyeliner. I can’t for the life of me (or anyone else’s) do eyeshadow. Also, I might as well own up now in saying that my eyeliner isn’t “wings and dat”… It’s more “line your waterline and on/under the lash line (with Khol) and hope for the best”.

How many hair products do you use on a typical day?

Zero. None. Nought.

What do you apply first, concealer or foundation?

Isn’t that like asking me if I pour milk into my bowl before the Coco Pops – or – if the Chicken came before the Egg?

Come on, people! What are some of these questions?! Why on God’s Earth would I put concealer before the foundation??? If you do that then I’m sorry, I’m sure it works for you but it’s just not something I’m familiar with.

Do you ever consider taking makeup classes?

The word ‘consider’ is a strong one. You could “consider” something all you want, if you really want to do it, you would. 💖

What do you love about makeup?

That I can write about it. That it gives others confidence… That it can transform people’s faces or bodies. If you think about it, makeup is really quite something.