Cosmetics

L'Oréal True Match

L’Oreal’s #1 foundation is now available in 23 shades and matches 98% of UK skintones. L’Oreal’s velvety formula matches your skin’s unique tone and texture, for a true to skin finish: flawless, blendable, and never fake.

L’Oreal’s 23 shades range from warm to neutral to cool undertones, to ensure your foundation is right for you. Whilst your skin tone is visible on the surface and can alter through the seasons, your skin undertones are determined at a deeper level, they are part of your skin and never change. Each complexion has its own undertone: pink (cool), neutral or golden (warm), so you can now find a match that’s true to you.

Truly, Matchly, Deeply… 💖

Fresh from waking up and exiting my slumber this morning, I realised that I’d dreamt of applying the L’Oréal BB Cream ‘pon my facial features.

I think my dream was an omen to write this review up, while I wait for my hair and face masks to dry – before entering the bathing room of my abode for a SHOWER, POWER, FEW HOUR!

What do I want to say about this? Not a lot tbh (too much, probably)… The shade? PERFECT. It’s honestly my TRUE MATCH. Ivory – not that this matters to you in any way, shape or form (’cause not errbody is a Lebanese Polar Bear who tries to pass as “olive skinned”)…

I love the coverage, the dewy semi-matte finish and just how luxurious it feels… It’s very, very good. I especially love it now that my two previous favourite foundations have been discontinued. What kind of LUCK do I actually have, FFS? BOTH of my favourite foundations get discontinued, at the SAME-ISH TIME!

No worries though, ’cause I’ve got this ‘good girl’… Would say “bad boy” but A) it’s not a BOY and 2) it’s not bad, it’s GOOD.

Alright, time for a scrubba-dub-dub there’s a party (of ONE) in the tub. 🎶 Me, myself and I – that’s all I got… #Baeoncé.

L'Oréal Double Extension

For spectacular length discover Double Extension, our first reinforcing and extending mascara.

This 2 step Mascara is composed of:
STEP 1: Ultra-lengthening and fortifying base coat
-A conditioning white base coat enriched with Ceramide R and naturally-derived fibres that act like extensions to visibly lengthen the appearance of your lashes
STEP 2: Intense colour and coverage without clumping.
-The brush distributes intense colour from root to tip, making your lashes look longer without leaving clumps
-The result? Lashes look up to 70% longer

This tinga-ling right here, the L’Oréal Double Extension Mascara [Carbon Black]… Can I get several hundred thousand “AMEN”s and a “PREACH”? Yes, thanks so much!

So, like, I know, I get way too excited – but you know what, it’s L’Oréal – and this is my blog – so I can do whatever I like with it!

I LOVE THIS MASCARA! THIS MASCARA IS THE BAEST OF ALL THE BAES!

I cannot even explain the legitimateness of my love for this product… You can literally transform your lashes from “EYElashes” to “OMGlashes”!

You know when you put a product on your person and catch feelings for yourself: “FUDGE! DON’T I LOOK SMOKIN’?! (without the alarm?)” Yeah, that actually happened to me. That’s a very rare occasion.

So, it’s double sided – has two wands (like Harry Potter) – one primes and conditions, while the other darkens the lashes, lengthens, adding volume & curl.

Yes, as the packaging claims, my lashes did look longer and looked a lot better in terms of spacing. I say this because you do get those mascaras that drive your lashes to the corner of your eyes and you’re left thinking: “are they okay, or..? WAGWAN WITH THAT? Why’re they huddling together like a fight’s about to break out at school?” This doesn’t do that.

It’s perfection. I wore it today and yesterday and the day before that. I’ll continue to wear it every day. Even when it finishes, I’ll pop into Boots/Superdrug like a Skittle and buy another one. Who doesn’t love a Skittle, though? Smarties probably.

Anyway, back to this mascara, purchase and wear the heck out if it because it not only doubly extends your lashes, but it makes them look defined, fanned out, declumped/unclumpled/not-clumped or whatever the scientific “#bblogger” word is. It’s just, basically, in a tortoise shell (getting pretty bored of nuts now), L I F E.

You’re welcome and caio for now. I’ll take a bow, karate chop a wooden slab like “KAPOW” because I don’t want to get into a ROW, not NOW…

I’ll make a VOW to not be a COW. WOW. HOW did I come up with that? … Hmm, okay, I’ll see myself OW-T.

“BOOOOOOOOOOOM SHAKA SO LAKA THAT I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY!” Buy it with all of your pounds/euros/dollars/yens/rupees/franks/liras and use it on all of your lashes.

Palmer's, Ripe Mango, Flipbalm

Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula Ripe Mango Flip Balm delivers incredible, long lasting moisture while refreshing your lips with ripe mango.

Features:

Ultra moisturising formula.
Made from pure Cocoa Butter and Vitamin E to soften and soothe dry lips.
The one-of-a-kind flip top dispenser allows for ease of application and easily flips open and locks back into place.
No Parabens –No Phthalates –No Petrolatum –No Gluten

This paraben, phthalate (I’m not sure what this means), petrolatum ( or this. I’m guessing- if ‘a tum’ was made of petrol? 🤔) and gluten free product is one of the best I’ve tried – in terms of a lip balm…

Palmer’s is obviously known for being a brand that specialises in products that include cocoa butter as one of the main ingredients, the Ripe Mango Flipbalm is no different… Others include: ripe mango extract (yes, I went there, bought the t-shirt, wore it and it’s now in the wash), coconut oil, and beeswax.

What’s my verdict on it? It’s cheaper and so much better than EOS. Look, EOS is only famous and hyped up because it’s got a celebrity backing. This, on the other hand, deserves that EOS hype and then some! It’s very good!

I find that this Flipbalm hydrates my lips, and keeps them soft and juicy like a… ripe mango. Oh, come on (tu t’appelle)!

The taste as well… 😍. Like, if bae💖 doesn’t hurry up and come to me just because I’m wearing a Ripe Mango lip balm, something’s not write*…

If you know me (or of me) you’ll know I love mangos.

I also love the colour orange quite a lot more than the average person. Which, subsequently, is the colour of the packaging.

The packaging is very similar to EOS in terms of the shape and formula. Its product is in the shape of a sphere (that’s right, I paid attention in Maths – when shapes was being taught! #RUMBUS).

Also, Palmer’s Flipbalm comes in a range of flavours – watermelon and coconut. You can purchase one for yourself by visiting Superdrug… It might burnt a hole in your pocket of change as it retails at a whopping £2 something.

‘When the going gets tough, the Man (gets) go-ing’. 💖 Man go-ing, go-ing… Don’t get gone. ‘Stay With Me’. Please? 😘

L'Oréal

I’m actually typing this as I power plate… I have absolutely no idea how it’s going to come out, I’m just trialling this as an experiment.

The music – Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shape of You’ – is playing as I’m typing and my whole body’s engaging in convulsions of the electric pulsating variety. Nice.

Yesterday, I posted a photo of my new hair colour (and eyebrow shape) along with my made up facial follicles also known as ‘pores’. Singapores, winners of Dermatoligists Got Talent, 0-2017 (current).

Everything on my hair and face (except my brows and skin) was courtesy of L’Oréal. Yes.

I’m sharing it with you all because I think everybody could benefit…

L’Oréal might be cost effective, and umm – who doesn’t love cost effective?! It also leaves your face looking a quadrillion yens. (Pound’s suffering, and I ain’t giving that Fartface any more airtime). So, I’ll stick with yens…

Let’s take some time out to appreciate the title that I chose for this post… ‘Get The Look: without my DNA’ cos let’s face it (puns, puns everywhere!) if you looked like me… Scrap that, I wouldn’t let you!

Anyway, time to run through the process of going from Lebanese Polar Bear to Lebanese PHWOAR GRAS(ILY) BEAR! Relax, it’s French, isn’t it? 😉

*a step that isn’t really a step because if you don’t do this before applying your makeup, are you okay? Do you need a visit from the Hygiene Standards Agency?*

I washed my face with LUSH’s Let The Good Times Roll, and followed up with a LUSH’s Eau Roma water. Look, got to be patriotic to the French, don’t I? I’m using L’Oréal after all.. Also, LUSH sounds like a French word. Imagine Fred from First Dates saying it? … or someone from Leeds via Versailles. Anyway. Moving on (in the post, not from bae… #flambé).

I then went on to moisturise my layer using This Works’ In Transit Camera Close Up (which a full, detailed review of is coming soon). Long title, the length of its title is as long as the duration of love that I have for it…

Step One:

Prime that baby. Get that facial skin of yours, and put some L’Oréal ‘Infallible Mattifying Base‘ ‘pon it. I really want to swear – but my mum has instructed me not to. I listen to my mum, so FUDGE ME is this a good primer?! Butterscotch. It’s silicon-y and fills fine lines and nasilobial creases perfectly. Trust me, the amount of times I laugh at mine or bae’s jokes, it’s a wonder I don’t look 400 in the face…

Yeah, so – it’s good it’s infallible, inflammable, infantasticable, inflatulancable, infatuationable, influxable, inlovable, inadorable… Ineverythinggoodable.

Step Two:

Foundate that baby! Take that primed complexion of yours, and foundate it using Infallible Total Cover. The thickness of this bad boy… 😍 If it was a sport, it’d be dubbed: “PHWOARKOUR”!

It’s so hot that I need a fire extinguisher. I love it. 100% full coverage. It’ll probably cover every embarrassing memory that’s ever entered your mind.

I love this. It’s so bae that I don’t even know what ‘bae’ means anymore… Joking. How could I forget Bae? Even though he’s probably trying to (or already has) forgotten me.

Step Three:

Apparently, I got this next one’s name wrong… 😭

I thought it was the Nude Magique highlighter but apparently it’s True Match. I’ve got both the highlighter and bronzer in the True Match range.

I have no idea why I was thinking about Nude Magique… I’m a fully clothed naturist sorceress.

So, yes – I got it wrong and now I’ve fixed it. Knowing me, it’ll definitely happen again, but not with anything associated with L’Oréal. Scouts and Girl Guides honour.

So, highlight your triangles below the eyes, chin, bridge of your nose, and Cupid’s bow (without the arrow). Blend using the L’Oréal blender (if you’ve got one) or a brush/fingers of if you’re a filthy FCUKER, a boiled egg.

Step Four:

Take that Con on TOUR, babies! Draw them cheekbones like Picasso… Give your face that chisel, fizzle, drizzle fo’ shizzle!

As I prematurely stated in several paragraphs/sentences before this one… ’cause I type a lot, don’t I?

See, there’s a button which solves all of that… The “x” at the top left of this page. It’s a kiss, apparently! Alternatively, you could kiss me via a sublime (minal) tweet. 😘

At approximately Contour o’clock, apply the Liquid True Match Bronzer.

Step Five:

‘Lips or eyes?’ Lips or eyes..? I’m sure if L’Oréal was around in Shakespeare’s day, that’d be his first and foremost question… Forget his infamous “to be, or not to be?”.

I went with lips, all the better to kiss you with. I applied Colour Riche… It’s ‘badabing badaboom’. I’m sure everyone who had the privilege of seeing me yesterday would agree.

Step Six:

My favourite. Eyes. My most prized possession are my lashes. I’ve actively thought about getting them insured, then realised that I’m not vain nor completely senile. Emphasis on “completely”. 😂

Not speaking of bae (but speaking of him at the same time), his eyes are like melted Twixes. That deep, creamy droplet shade of brown. PENG!

So, yes, eyelashes. Double. Extension. Extend those lashes to DOUBLE the length.

WOW. My lashes went from there to EVERYWHERE.

They were probably enjoying the scenery in Queensland (Australia) while I was chilling at Buckingham Palace, London.

For those who’ve just joined us, or are not native to the UK, I don’t live in Buckingham Palace. Soz. The Queen does though.

Also, not every citizen of the UK is accustomed to that lifestyle of drinking teas with the Queen and taking her Corgis for a bladder or bowel relief on the grounds.

Step ‘MORNING’:

I dyed every one of my hair strands with L’Oréal Casting Creme Gloss. In keeping with the theme of the last paragraph, one could say that I shine brighter than Rihanna’s diamonds and Rudolph’s nose between the 23-26th of December.

There you go. That’s how I went from Miamii Mansour to Miamii Mansweet, like some Chinese takeaway that you’ve yet to eat from a plate.

Thanks for reading, or attempting to. It’s been fun, for me… I’m not sure if you’ve had fun… Maybe tell the moon and the stars to send me a message, informing me of your thoughts?

Glossybox

I wasn’t going to blog about GLOSSYBOX because I wasn’t a fan of much… However, I’ve since changed my mind because some of them actually that bad. They might be useless for me, but they might be useful for you.

Merci Handy

Let’s start with the hand sanitiser. I need this when travelling on TfL. Trust me, I catch germs like Ash does Pokémon. So, it’s got to stop!

Merci Handy helps to a degree… It’s French, is rose gold in colour and seems pretty good? I’m not a hand gel connoisseur, I haven’t got any idea about how good it actually is…

As far as I know, it has one job, to kill the bacteria but keep it on our hands – until we can get to sink. That’s it. Oh, and it smells like perfumed alcohol.

Merci for reading.

Rodial Glamolash XXL

Yeah, okay, I’m going to say it – I wasn’t expecting much from this mascara…

Aside from the fact I’m very picky when it comes to mascaras, I have worn Rodial before, in the form of a foundation, and it didn’t agree with me.

I’ve got to say that I wasn’t expecting to be blown away by this… I was even reluctant to try it. Boy was I wrong. It’s lovely. Again, I’m not saying it’s the best I’ve ever used, I’m just saying it’s good.

It contains beeswax which helps with the conditioning of our lashes, carnauba wax which evens and fans them out and soluable collagen which works to provide full volume and body to them.

It’s a nice little sample, but I doubt I’ll be buying again…

The wand is nice and thin, just how I like it. I’d say it’s good for long lashed girls like myself, and even better for those with shorter lashes I’d suspect.

The most important thing about mascaras (for me) has to be the deep, dark colour. Rodial’s Glamolash XXL provides just that.

Models Co. Contour Stick

This one felt like I was applying Crayola on my cheekbones. Nah, it isn’t for me… I don’t do drawing on cheekbones, never have and won’t be starting anytime soon.

I’m sure it’s a great little tool for artists (of the makeup variety), but I can’t even draw a wing of eyeliner. I have no hope trying to draw contour.

Sorry, if we were on Family Fortunes you’d be hearing the BUZZER.

Also, while I’m here – GLOSSYBOX, the colour you gave me was horrendous… It was brown, sparkly, and I looked like I’d smeared glittery shit on my face. Nah, soz. I ain’t ’bout that life.

Elgon Deliwash Haircare Cleansing Conditioner Co-Wash

Oh! This one has to be my favourite of all of the Glossybox samples I received! Let’s face it, two out of four were abysmal, and another was a hand sanitiser, so… I mean, come on!

This smells lush, makes my hair feel soft and look shinier.

Mind you, I’ve just dyed my hair with L’Oréal’s Casting Creme Gloss (with Royal Jelly), if my hair gets any shinier, people’ll think it’s Rudolph’s nose a few months late (or early).

Yeah, I’d probably invest in this. It’s a definite maybe.

Again, like everything else in this month’s box, I wasn’t expecting much from this… However, it pleasantly surprised me. Well done, GLOSSYBOX.

SportFX Brow Pencil

I gave this one to my mum. I do not need it, one bit… My eyebrows are thick and black as it is… If I was to use this on top of them, I’d look like the night sky.

Another thing, I have experience of drawing my eyebrows (and lips) in with a pencil, the end result wasn’t pretty…. I looked like what would happen if Ru Paul’s Drag Race and a clown procreated.

My mum might be pleased with it though because her eyebrows aren’t as dark as mine, and she might actually know how to use it professionally. I’ll ask her and get back to you.

Final note: if it’s got Sport in the title, give it to the likes of Usain Bolt or Mo Farah, they’ll put it to good use.

To conclude, the best things about this box was the mascara and the conditioner. The hand sanitiser? Are you serious? You want me to get excited over that? It’s good but come on… Don’t even get me started on that Crayola Glitter shit thing! The brow pencil I’m indifferent on ’cause I never used it (and won’t).