Cosmetics

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Merry Christmas [for less than two months ago], apparently!

I’m your belated E.l.f that’s still on the shelf! Pardon?!?

Umm, I’d like to start by mentioning that I have no recollection of an idea as to why I didn’t post this earlier, but I’m assuming sometimes, you do that thing called: mild, sE.l.f-diagnosed amnesia.

Tell me when to stop?

After using my brain (for a bit longer than I usually would), I remembered that the reason behind my late postage was that I haven’t worn mascara in like: forever! Listen, when you have a fringe (that BANGS most days), you don’t really need to, y’know?!

In recent times, I have been allowing the pores on my forehead (or … as it’s affectionately called: the ‘epicentre’ of my head) some freedom to breathe.

This, of course, has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that my fringe (that BANGS most days) outgrew itself and I’m too lazy to give it a snip. Thanks!

So, anyway, I have been using it (E.l.f, not my fringe) properly since yesterday and THAT is why I’m writing this post late… SURPRISE! Better late than never, am I right? I’m probably wrong, but still a wise saying nonetheless.

Achieve thicker, fuller, and longer lashes that are beautiful and natural.

E.l.f’s mascara has been MY little helper, that’s for sure! I’m proud to announce that I’ll be using its lash help all year round!

Price: cheap AFF. I must’ve paid like £3 for this…  I bought it whilst I was in the midst of “an emergency” – one where my fringe was misbehaving and I had to sort out my eyes so as not to look like an unbrushed-hair corpse divorcee – instead of bride!

The wand is really, very small (even though the description says it’s large) – micro in comparison to the other ones I’d used previously. Not gonna lie- when I first tried it, I wasn’t a fan because I had a fringe which was all over the place and felt like it was clumpy…

However, since I no longer have a fringe, I have been obsessed with this mascara’s wand. It really fans out my lashes, and makes them look thicker, lifted and curlier.  I now [when it’s not making my fringe hair (yes, really!!!) find that my lashes no longer] look clumpy!

In light of these turn of events, I now hypothesise that size doesn’t always matter.

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Result: you tell me..? [Please bear in (a forest, but also in the) mind that I don’t and have never worn fake lashes…]

Here’s the “before” image, obvs…

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Haters would say that’s a Snapchat filter… Lovers would say that I actually was born with a brown beauty spot located on my “WHO NOSE WHAT’LL HAPPEN?” area.

Okay,  to conclude, I’d give it a 5* (like the Uber rating).

Also, before I forget… Merry Christmas for this year, in case I don’t get round to wishing y’all it in like 9/10 months!

Made you look!

No, Kylie Jenner did not send me nudes, sadly for you and luckily for me. No offence Kyles, I just don’t swing that way nor do I bat for that team. One day maybe, just – not today. As legit beautiful as Kylie Jenner is, I prefer her clothed. Thanks!

So, anyway, I’ve got the ‘Send Me Nudes’ lip kit, bought it for £49.00 from Amazon – and I legit think it’s a fraud. It feels too flimsy to be real and the colours don’t seem as pigmanted as other Kylie Cosmetics products I’ve used have been.

So, basically, I spent 50 quid on legit (probably) a fake product just to avoid paying shipping charges for the real thing… To say I’m mortified, embarrassed and proper stupid is an understatement.

I dislike the names she’s come up with for these liquid lipsticks, I’m not even going to discuss it.

The shades, as I said, didn’t come out too pigmented… So, I wasn’t and am not a fan of them. Also, they’re glossy, which means they didn’t dry matte.

Honeslty, I didn’t like them at all.

Love Kylie’s other matte lipsticks, just these ones… More expensive (in a set) ones were a no-no. I do think that I was sold illegitamate ones though, still.

Smells like: chocolate.

Formula: not as luxurious as the other ones I’ve tried from her matte ranges.

Packaging: looks probably identical in terms of style (to the real thing), but 100% doesn’t feel like it, in my opinion.  As I said, I’m basing this from the other products I’ve bought from Kylie Cosmetics.

My advice: wait until there’s FREE international shipping days on Kylie Cosmetics, don’t buy it from Amazon. They are legit knockoffs that could damage your lips. Not a good look nor idea, don’t risk it. Thanks!

There was a Christmas fundraiser at work a couple of weeks ago, and they were selling really high-quality cosmetics at really cheap prices to raise money for charity. Obviously I attended and didn’t purchase anything ’cause I was like, “WHY WOULD I????”, right? Wrong. Of course I got something! Two things, actually… But, this’ the first of my posts.

I bought Zelens’ lip enhancer lip balm which is in the shape of a lipstick… Lovely!

I’ve got to be honest, I paid £5 for it thinking it’s a clear, lipstick that’s going to enhance and volumize my lips, making them look kissable for all the frogs & princes that are going to avoid me like repellant. #GottaShowThemWhatTheyreNotMissing

Anyway, back to this… I was expecting Zelens’ Lip Enhancer to burn my lips like a mothertrucker… But, it didn’t! Hurrrrray! It smells like cocoa-butter and felt very creamy on the lips. I felt a very mild, comfortable tingle – that was it. Literally.

Did it makes my lips (which now that we’re on the subject, I have relatively pancake-y ones) plumper? I mean, it made my lips ORANGE, unbeknownst to me that it was tinted. I found faint orange marks above my lips where I had over-lined… Now’s the time to mention that I didn’t apply it using a mirror, because I thought it was flipping transparent. NO. No it wasn’t… I looked like a CLOWN who took time to make-up their lips and nowhere else. Classy!

Back to the main point of this post we go… Did it grow my lips? No. I mean, it looked slightly perter, but to be fair, it is December, freezing and the blood be rushing absolutely everywhere before pneumonia and frost bite is acoming! The cold weather makes everyone’s lips look huger and purpler. Well, I’m basing this hypothesis on what happens to me. I am 7billion+ people. Thanks!

So, what have we learned in this post? It’s a placebo thing. If you think it’s working, it’ll work. If you don’t think it’s working – you won’t look for a difference. Lip balms/sticks aren’t going to make your lips bigger. You need more than that. What I would say though, don’t try fillers. It doesn’t look great at all.

I’ll be posting about a natural lip enhancer device that I use to get naturally plump lips, soon… Trust me, you’re going to want to read it – and know about it. It’s great.

FINAL WORDS: GIVE TO CHARITY. HELP AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. IF YOU CAN’T GIVE MONEY, GIVE TIME. IF YOU CAN’T GIVE TIME, RAISE AWARENESS THROUGH OTHER MEANS.

A strong coverage compact foundation that applies as a cream and instantly dries to a silky, powder, transfer resistant finish. Perfect to build coverage in certain areas and maintain a matte finish even on dryer skin types.

Above, is the description of one of my favourite – if not my actual favourite – makeup product right now… Honestly, INGLOT’s Cream Powder is the best foundation I’ve actually ever used. I have been looking for a foundation like this for so long, and I’ve finally found it.

I used to swear by MAC’s Studio Tech because of its coverage, but it was very heavy and cakey on the skin… What’s more, it didn’t finish matte (before blotting). My skin was at times very oily and/or dewy afterwards (which I hated). I was actually looking back at photos of myself in Switzerland FIVE years ago, and my skin looked HIDEOUSLY greasy.

Anyway, back to INGLOT… INGLOT is a Polish makeup brand that has been going strong for 30 years.

Reasons I love their Cream Powder: a little goes a long way… I don’t have to re-apply throughout the day, and upon first application, I don’t have to apply a lot to get a really nice, flawless coverage. Also, it doesn’t leave your face looking cakey or greasy, at all.

Let’s talk shade ranges, shall we? There are 15 shades to choose from. Price? £8. EIGHT POUNDS. You’re welcome.

It’s perfection. Honestly, girls/guys. This foundation is amazing, affordable oh, and – it is refillable (part of INGLOT’s’ Freedom System’). This means that you don’t have to keep buying the compact…

Freedom System is a unique solution that enables you to fit all your favourite makeup products into one handy and environment-friendly reusable palettes.

Eyeshadows, powders, blushes, lipsticks, concealers, eyebrow products and cream perfumes available in refills give you a chance to create your own personalised makeup palette.

Oh, yes… Finally, this is the brand that is used most on Broadway. Basically, if you try this – you’ll be wearing stage makeup.  The LION KING-esque makeup.

We are involved in large scale projects on Broadway including musicals like Mamma Mia, PIPPIN, The Lion King, or The Cripple of Inishmaan, to name just a few..

Please remember, Beyoncé has been signed to play in the live-action remake of Lion King… Not saying much apart from, if you want to feel like Beyoncé, get yourself one of these. 😍

Love.

(Foundation) is easy as 1, 2, 3…

Bourjois 1.2.3. Perfect Foundation gives a flawless even complexion* for 16hrs, thanks to a new generation formula.

3 correcting pigments for zero imperfections:

Yellow pigments: Anti dark circles

Mauve pigments: Anti dull complexion

Green pigments: Anti redness

  • 24hr hydration and anti-shine: cotton flower extract
  • SPF 10
  • Medium coverage, yet lets skin breathe
  • Soft and smooth formula for a second skin finish

I really don’t know what to write about this product because I am completely and utterly butterly discombobulated. I’m sure discombobulated is the right word, but if it isn’t… I’ll make sure to eat the Oxford English dictionary tomorrow and get back to you.

I expected more from this foundation is what I’m saying… When I first applied it as a swatch, I thought it was the hornet’s elbows not even bee’s knees. Then, when I applied it on my face (which is where foundation is usually applied), it looked ‘meh’. It just looked like the average foundation, kind of a letdown… I expected more from this foundation.

For a drugstore foundation, it’s fine, it’s just not in the same league of extraordinary gentlemen as the serum one… I wanted better coverage, especially seeing as I’ve got the ENTIRE population of Australia & New Zealand’s equivalent of spots on my face currently…

Yes, it made me look less tired and evens the skin tone, but… I still wasn’t blown away by it.

If you want a foundation that makes you look less tired and evens your skin tone, get it. But, if you want a foundation that lasts and looks good even without setting it with powder, this one is not for you.

Things I did like about it: it does hydrate the skin, I’m not going to lie. Protects skin against sun damage (SPF 10) and it applies/spreads easily.

Things I didn’t like about it: it’s less than medium coverage in my opinion. I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that I’ve got what feels like the entire population of Spotville residing on my facial exterior, but I don’t think it covered very well… Then again, maybe it’s not meant to cover. It’s main USP is the skin tone evening and 24hour hydration which (I don’t know about the 24 hour part, but it does hydrate).

What I will say though, I know you should never compare when doing product reviews but Rimmel Wake Me Up is better in my opinion. Granted, the shade ranges of that are diabolical for a Lebanese Outer Hebrides Polar Bear Eskimo Person Thing like myself, but… Still. You’re either expected to be Donald Trump or TanMom if you’re to match with Rimmel Wake Me Up’s shades. No, thanks!

Have you tried it? What did you think of it? Let me know in the comments section below or send me mail via pigeon. I LOVE pigeons (that are domesticated, clean, sanitary, cleanly fed, don’t carry rabies and aren’t flying rodents – Baesically: doves. I love doves.)