Beauty

I’ve just signed up to Birchbox, primarily because I saw the packaging of this month’s one had flowers on it, was red and looked majestic.

A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do to get her botanical businesses fix…

Also, this is sort-of but also probably-not good news for you guys & doll faeces because I’ll be blogging about all products each month. If £10 is leaving my cardboard cut-out each month, this might just give me a forced incentive to blog. Not that I need to be forced… I love blogging, it’s honestly one of my favourite things to do, I just haven’t been finding the time. But, with Birchbox coming… I promise to make time.

I really don’t know what else to say… So, Birchbox. Thanks. Perch on a Birch like your name’s Bert. Stay outside of the Box. I’m welcome.

Finally, apparently – all of December’s items (in the Birchbox: ICYMI) are full-size. Hopefully this one proves better than Glossybox, ’cause that was a box full of complete and utter stupidity towards the end of my subscription.

Known fact: if Birchbox put a comb in one of their monthly boxes, I’ll make phantom babies with the founder — man or woman, I don’t care… In the likely event that the founder is in fact a woman, we’ll make a biological anomaly.

The most FINAL of finallies, Birchbox have partnered with a Matthew Willimanson this time.  I don’t even know who Matthew Williamson is… To me, it just sounds like someone picked names out of a sorting hat and put them together. 2 trillion percentages it arrives and I’m going to pretend I know what Matthew Williamson does for a living. So you see, as a blogger, I really know my stuff.

Matthew Williamson x Birchbox = I’m just here for the full-size Nip & Fab product and plantation red, festive packaging. Equation solved.

A strong coverage compact foundation that applies as a cream and instantly dries to a silky, powder, transfer resistant finish. Perfect to build coverage in certain areas and maintain a matte finish even on dryer skin types.

Above, is the description of one of my favourite – if not my actual favourite – makeup product right now… Honestly, INGLOT’s Cream Powder is the best foundation I’ve actually ever used. I have been looking for a foundation like this for so long, and I’ve finally found it.

I used to swear by MAC’s Studio Tech because of its coverage, but it was very heavy and cakey on the skin… What’s more, it didn’t finish matte (before blotting). My skin was at times very oily and/or dewy afterwards (which I hated). I was actually looking back at photos of myself in Switzerland FIVE years ago, and my skin looked HIDEOUSLY greasy.

Anyway, back to INGLOT… INGLOT is a Polish makeup brand that has been going strong for 30 years.

Reasons I love their Cream Powder: a little goes a long way… I don’t have to re-apply throughout the day, and upon first application, I don’t have to apply a lot to get a really nice, flawless coverage. Also, it doesn’t leave your face looking cakey or greasy, at all.

Let’s talk shade ranges, shall we? There are 15 shades to choose from. Price? £8. EIGHT POUNDS. You’re welcome.

It’s perfection. Honestly, girls/guys. This foundation is amazing, affordable oh, and – it is refillable (part of INGLOT’s’ Freedom System’). This means that you don’t have to keep buying the compact…

Freedom System is a unique solution that enables you to fit all your favourite makeup products into one handy and environment-friendly reusable palettes.

Eyeshadows, powders, blushes, lipsticks, concealers, eyebrow products and cream perfumes available in refills give you a chance to create your own personalised makeup palette.

Oh, yes… Finally, this is the brand that is used most on Broadway. Basically, if you try this – you’ll be wearing stage makeup.  The LION KING-esque makeup.

We are involved in large scale projects on Broadway including musicals like Mamma Mia, PIPPIN, The Lion King, or The Cripple of Inishmaan, to name just a few..

Please remember, Beyoncé has been signed to play in the live-action remake of Lion King… Not saying much apart from, if you want to feel like Beyoncé, get yourself one of these. 😍

Love.

(Foundation) is easy as 1, 2, 3…

Bourjois 1.2.3. Perfect Foundation gives a flawless even complexion* for 16hrs, thanks to a new generation formula.

3 correcting pigments for zero imperfections:

Yellow pigments: Anti dark circles

Mauve pigments: Anti dull complexion

Green pigments: Anti redness

  • 24hr hydration and anti-shine: cotton flower extract
  • SPF 10
  • Medium coverage, yet lets skin breathe
  • Soft and smooth formula for a second skin finish

I really don’t know what to write about this product because I am completely and utterly butterly discombobulated. I’m sure discombobulated is the right word, but if it isn’t… I’ll make sure to eat the Oxford English dictionary tomorrow and get back to you.

I expected more from this foundation is what I’m saying… When I first applied it as a swatch, I thought it was the hornet’s elbows not even bee’s knees. Then, when I applied it on my face (which is where foundation is usually applied), it looked ‘meh’. It just looked like the average foundation, kind of a letdown… I expected more from this foundation.

For a drugstore foundation, it’s fine, it’s just not in the same league of extraordinary gentlemen as the serum one… I wanted better coverage, especially seeing as I’ve got the ENTIRE population of Australia & New Zealand’s equivalent of spots on my face currently…

Yes, it made me look less tired and evens the skin tone, but… I still wasn’t blown away by it.

If you want a foundation that makes you look less tired and evens your skin tone, get it. But, if you want a foundation that lasts and looks good even without setting it with powder, this one is not for you.

Things I did like about it: it does hydrate the skin, I’m not going to lie. Protects skin against sun damage (SPF 10) and it applies/spreads easily.

Things I didn’t like about it: it’s less than medium coverage in my opinion. I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that I’ve got what feels like the entire population of Spotville residing on my facial exterior, but I don’t think it covered very well… Then again, maybe it’s not meant to cover. It’s main USP is the skin tone evening and 24hour hydration which (I don’t know about the 24 hour part, but it does hydrate).

What I will say though, I know you should never compare when doing product reviews but Rimmel Wake Me Up is better in my opinion. Granted, the shade ranges of that are diabolical for a Lebanese Outer Hebrides Polar Bear Eskimo Person Thing like myself, but… Still. You’re either expected to be Donald Trump or TanMom if you’re to match with Rimmel Wake Me Up’s shades. No, thanks!

Have you tried it? What did you think of it? Let me know in the comments section below or send me mail via pigeon. I LOVE pigeons (that are domesticated, clean, sanitary, cleanly fed, don’t carry rabies and aren’t flying rodents – Baesically: doves. I love doves.)

His Royal Highness, he makes a DAMN good King… 😍

If you’re not a King, you’re probably a Queen and… AMSTAR-TING to get REALLY get back into this blog postage (& packaging).

Aloha!

I’m Bach with a post about Victoria’s most Secret venture… Fragrances. Everyone who shops at VS, shops lingerie. I don’t know many who know VS for its other stock. Firstly, its PJ (not Peanut & Jelly) selection is SOMETHING ELSE!

Alas, I’m not here to discuss this… I’m here to talk fragrance. Especially her limited-edition ‘Golden Bloom’.

Get wrapped up in limited-edition sexy-warm scents, with notes of cozy gourmand, winter woods and dark ripe fruits.

  • Golden Bloom: Warm, with warm apple and tiger orchid

  • Velvet Petals: Warm, with sweet almond glaze and creamy sandalwood

  • Dark Flora: Warm, with pomegranate and sugared woods

  • Midnight Ivy: Warm, with rum raisins and amber woods

I love perfume, but- I’m the hardest (or easiest) to please because I love both fruity and floral scents.

I can never choose. I like them all, end up choosing one, and then regret my choice. So, imagine my QUELLE SURPRISE! when I discovered that VS (the FULL ON FLAMBAE OF THE RETAIL MARKET) sells a fruit & floral hybrid body mist?! Mate. Mateo. Mattise. Matrimony. Mattress. Metamorphic rock. Igneous.

That’s another thing (that has absolutely nothing to do with sedimentary)… I’m not even going to pretend that I didn’t USE TO have the tendency to overspray myself to the point where your nostrils could tell I was on my way from the Arctic (if you’re based in Australia). With “Golden Bloom”, this is no longer an issue.

That’s right, it’s a very soft and subtle scent. I’d like to say it smells like flowers and coconut. It’s honestly the most exotic thing I’ve ever smelled/smelt/s’mores. I love it.

Oh, let’s get on to my other favourite part about this… The packaging. Two trillion percent (by the time I’m 80) I’ll have the bottle’s design tattooed all over my body. My aim is to look like the Garden of Eden before I (hopefully) go there, God willing!

Okay, back to the scent itself… VS describes it as a “sexy” “forest” smell… Now, I don’t know how long you’ve been keeping up with this blog for (if you keep up with it at all), but I LOVE FORESTS!

I mean, I’d never go into one now… But, I just love the idea of them. Knowing that there’s a place where there are SO MANY TREES makes me so happy (them being cut down NOT AT ALL).

I also love what I imagine forests to smell like… Like a woodland. Oak. Fresh air. Squirrel poop. Deer wee. EVERYTHING. (probably not the two latter things before “EVERYTHING”).

Let’s take things back to VS’ description… I have to say that I didn’t really get the whole “forest” thing… Because, what forest has VS been to that smells like coconuts? Then again, I’m not a connoMansour of forests. Green houses/rooms, maybe. Forests? Not so much…

In a nutshell, put Golden Bloom around your nostrils when you get the chance. You might like it. If you don’t, sorry.

I don’t usually do this and get no enjoyment out of it but: if you’re one of the 0.00000000000000000000000000001% that would like to rant about my content and how “I need to learn to distinguish truth from fiction”, email: complaint@MiamiiGivesADiarrhea.NOT

I don’t like ending (or anything-ing) with negativity, so… *watches something hysterical on YouTube/TV/streams it online* I feel like everybody should do the same. If everyone followed suit, there’d be less animosity.

MaybellineHolla at your spice rack in the kitchen!

or…

‘Hola cómo estás?!’ (as it translates in SEXY LANGUAGES)

Today marks the time that I officially get back into the swing of blogging… I have been sporadic with my postings of late, and I’m sorry. Blogging really is like therapy, so I have no real reason why I’ve left this blog dormant, but I’ve been busy with work.

Anyway, so – what better way to get back into blogging than to discuss my current fave lip product. Introducing: Maybelline’s SuperStay Matte Ink.

Ink with Attitude.  Maybelline introduces SuperStay Matte Ink, an intense ink colour concentration, ultra-chic matte finish and flawless, 12 hour wear. With a precise arrow applicator for a smooth matte, second-skin effect in just one stroke. Statement, inked lips that last.

Maybe it’s… THE BEST THING YOU COULD EVER PUT ON YOUR LIPS! (Seriously)

I’m obsessed with not just the formula (which does not dry my lips out at all) but the shade (it’s bold AF) and packaging too. Alicia Keys weren’t alying when she said New York is where “dreams” “are made”. Full-on: YES! OUI! JA! OKAY! I’m actually infatuated with this. It’s slightly strange. Like, it’s only matte lipstick – but it’s SO GOOD and so underrated (in my opinion).

Seriously, I know I keep saying this but it’s so good. If you’re looking to try a new pink shade, and are very into matte-liquid lipsticks, do yourself a favour and invest in this, pronto.

It not only mattifies the lips but smoothens/soothes them. You know those disgusting chapped marks that some matte lipsticks leave? You get none of that with this. It’s honestly the best lip stain I have ever used. The shade, in particular, is also very flattering.

12-hour stay verdict: I’m not going to keep lipstick on my face for 12 hours to test this theory… No offences. I highly regard hygiene. So, I wash my faeces (hahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha, this word makes me laugh so hard for no reason) when I get home. However, what I can say is that it stays put. It didn’t fade easily after drinking or eating.

Other things that I love about Maybelline’s SuperStay Matte Ink: it comes off very easily but doesn’t (to my knowledge) smudge. The applicator is pretty special as well, it’s so easy to use and applies swiftly (with one coat #anorak).

This Lip Ink is just everything. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the shade I picked up is called “Lover” and I LOVER it. It’s like a nude pink/purple – unless I’m colourblind and it’s like BRIGHT ORANGE, in which case: YES! JUST: OUI!

Put it in your basket instantaneously and don’t worry about the rest… Is I in fact going to buy all the other shadeses? OUI. JA. YES. OKAY.

Thanks,

Miamiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Xo