Beauty

SHILLS

I bought SHILLS’ Original Peel Off Black Mask after the hype around it simmered because I ain’t bout that “go with the trend” malarky. I like to enjoy things after everyone’s stopped talking about them. Weird, huh?

Luckily for me and unlike everyone else, no hair got caught in the mask as I peeled* it off!

*ripped

Did I like it?

I don’t really know… I mean, is ripping a layer of your skin off something one can enjoy? Who knows, but I’d like to say probably not. So, no, no I didn’t.

NUMERO UNO: my skin was left red raw after using this. It felt as though it’d been skinned. Imagine having to wear Estee Lauder’s Camouflage Maximum Cover just to cover the redness. Terrible doesn’t even cut it, my face reacted awfully to this.

Yes, it felt soft after using it but that’s probably down to the fact that I was touching FLESHY CHEEK MUSCLES (slight exaggeration but you get the gist, I hope).

Would I do it again?

I don’t really have blackheads or blocked pores so I’m definitely not their target audience. However, I like a challenge, and trying things out, so I’m glad I did even if it didn’t turn out as I’d hoped.

If I get blackheads or blocked pores in future I’d prefer to go to the sauna or steam rooms. I’d have to want to be skinless like a chicken to want to try this again.

So, word to the sensitive-skinned wise, if you want to try this – make sure you’ve been applying multiple skin strengthening creams for at least a decade… A few layers just won’t work with this mask, you need at least 10,000. Until then, try L’Oréal, Younique or LUSH.

When you’ve got L’Oréal’s Detoxifying Clay, LUSH’s Dark Angels and Prince of Darkness or Younique’s Royalty Detoxifying mask, you can’t really want to try something like this; unless you revel in being in Bear Payne… Don’t even get me started! What a name!? It’s all well and good until he gets to puberty – but after that, poor guy!

What I found out AFTER I tried this mask:

It washes off with water. You know what this means, don’t you? Those vloggers voluntarily ripped their skin off for your (squeamish) viewing displeasure.

In a nutshell, you don’t need to skin your face off like they do in the video tutorials… I don’t know if that’d have the same effect though. I guess the only way to take blackheads out would be by waxing them off? Which, in essence, is what this feels like. Hairs? Gone.

Oh, but upon reading other people’s reviews [I don’t do this before I develop my own opinion because I don’t want to be swayed], it hasn’t been proven to take blackheads out according to Amazon reviewers, anyway… Which is confusing to me because it took my my skin’s top layer off! Like, what are these people’s blackheads made of… Iron? 😱

For most of the Amazon reviewers, it was a NAY instead of a YAY. I second that.

If John Travolta could sing about it, he’d say: “I GOT SHILLS, IT’S MORTIFYING! AND I’VE LOST ALL MY SKIN. ‘CAUSE THE POWER THAT THIS MASK HAS, IS SKINNING-FYING”

Palmer's, Ripe Mango, Flipbalm

Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula Ripe Mango Flip Balm delivers incredible, long lasting moisture while refreshing your lips with ripe mango.

Features:

Ultra moisturising formula.
Made from pure Cocoa Butter and Vitamin E to soften and soothe dry lips.
The one-of-a-kind flip top dispenser allows for ease of application and easily flips open and locks back into place.
No Parabens –No Phthalates –No Petrolatum –No Gluten

This paraben, phthalate (I’m not sure what this means), petrolatum ( or this. I’m guessing- if ‘a tum’ was made of petrol? 🤔) and gluten free product is one of the best I’ve tried – in terms of a lip balm…

Palmer’s is obviously known for being a brand that specialises in products that include cocoa butter as one of the main ingredients, the Ripe Mango Flipbalm is no different… Others include: ripe mango extract (yes, I went there, bought the t-shirt, wore it and it’s now in the wash), coconut oil, and beeswax.

What’s my verdict on it? It’s cheaper and so much better than EOS. Look, EOS is only famous and hyped up because it’s got a celebrity backing. This, on the other hand, deserves that EOS hype and then some! It’s very good!

I find that this Flipbalm hydrates my lips, and keeps them soft and juicy like a… ripe mango. Oh, come on (tu t’appelle)!

The taste as well… 😍. Like, if bae💖 doesn’t hurry up and come to me just because I’m wearing a Ripe Mango lip balm, something’s not write*…

If you know me (or of me) you’ll know I love mangos.

I also love the colour orange quite a lot more than the average person. Which, subsequently, is the colour of the packaging.

The packaging is very similar to EOS in terms of the shape and formula. Its product is in the shape of a sphere (that’s right, I paid attention in Maths – when shapes was being taught! #RUMBUS).

Also, Palmer’s Flipbalm comes in a range of flavours – watermelon and coconut. You can purchase one for yourself by visiting Superdrug… It might burnt a hole in your pocket of change as it retails at a whopping £2 something.

‘When the going gets tough, the Man (gets) go-ing’. 💖 Man go-ing, go-ing… Don’t get gone. ‘Stay With Me’. Please? 😘

L'Oréal

I’m actually typing this as I power plate… I have absolutely no idea how it’s going to come out, I’m just trialling this as an experiment.

The music – Ed Sheeran’s ‘Shape of You’ – is playing as I’m typing and my whole body’s engaging in convulsions of the electric pulsating variety. Nice.

Yesterday, I posted a photo of my new hair colour (and eyebrow shape) along with my made up facial follicles also known as ‘pores’. Singapores, winners of Dermatoligists Got Talent, 0-2017 (current).

Everything on my hair and face (except my brows and skin) was courtesy of L’Oréal. Yes.

I’m sharing it with you all because I think everybody could benefit…

L’Oréal might be cost effective, and umm – who doesn’t love cost effective?! It also leaves your face looking a quadrillion yens. (Pound’s suffering, and I ain’t giving that Fartface any more airtime). So, I’ll stick with yens…

Let’s take some time out to appreciate the title that I chose for this post… ‘Get The Look: without my DNA’ cos let’s face it (puns, puns everywhere!) if you looked like me… Scrap that, I wouldn’t let you!

Anyway, time to run through the process of going from Lebanese Polar Bear to Lebanese PHWOAR GRAS(ILY) BEAR! Relax, it’s French, isn’t it? 😉

*a step that isn’t really a step because if you don’t do this before applying your makeup, are you okay? Do you need a visit from the Hygiene Standards Agency?*

I washed my face with LUSH’s Let The Good Times Roll, and followed up with a LUSH’s Eau Roma water. Look, got to be patriotic to the French, don’t I? I’m using L’Oréal after all.. Also, LUSH sounds like a French word. Imagine Fred from First Dates saying it? … or someone from Leeds via Versailles. Anyway. Moving on (in the post, not from bae… #flambé).

I then went on to moisturise my layer using This Works’ In Transit Camera Close Up (which a full, detailed review of is coming soon). Long title, the length of its title is as long as the duration of love that I have for it…

Step One:

Prime that baby. Get that facial skin of yours, and put some L’Oréal ‘Infallible Mattifying Base‘ ‘pon it. I really want to swear – but my mum has instructed me not to. I listen to my mum, so FUDGE ME is this a good primer?! Butterscotch. It’s silicon-y and fills fine lines and nasilobial creases perfectly. Trust me, the amount of times I laugh at mine or bae’s jokes, it’s a wonder I don’t look 400 in the face…

Yeah, so – it’s good it’s infallible, inflammable, infantasticable, inflatulancable, infatuationable, influxable, inlovable, inadorable… Ineverythinggoodable.

Step Two:

Foundate that baby! Take that primed complexion of yours, and foundate it using Infallible Total Cover. The thickness of this bad boy… 😍 If it was a sport, it’d be dubbed: “PHWOARKOUR”!

It’s so hot that I need a fire extinguisher. I love it. 100% full coverage. It’ll probably cover every embarrassing memory that’s ever entered your mind.

I love this. It’s so bae that I don’t even know what ‘bae’ means anymore… Joking. How could I forget Bae? Even though he’s probably trying to (or already has) forgotten me.

Step Three:

Apparently, I got this next one’s name wrong… 😭

I thought it was the Nude Magique highlighter but apparently it’s True Match. I’ve got both the highlighter and bronzer in the True Match range.

I have no idea why I was thinking about Nude Magique… I’m a fully clothed naturist sorceress.

So, yes – I got it wrong and now I’ve fixed it. Knowing me, it’ll definitely happen again, but not with anything associated with L’Oréal. Scouts and Girl Guides honour.

So, highlight your triangles below the eyes, chin, bridge of your nose, and Cupid’s bow (without the arrow). Blend using the L’Oréal blender (if you’ve got one) or a brush/fingers of if you’re a filthy FCUKER, a boiled egg.

Step Four:

Take that Con on TOUR, babies! Draw them cheekbones like Picasso… Give your face that chisel, fizzle, drizzle fo’ shizzle!

As I prematurely stated in several paragraphs/sentences before this one… ’cause I type a lot, don’t I?

See, there’s a button which solves all of that… The “x” at the top left of this page. It’s a kiss, apparently! Alternatively, you could kiss me via a sublime (minal) tweet. 😘

At approximately Contour o’clock, apply the Liquid True Match Bronzer.

Step Five:

‘Lips or eyes?’ Lips or eyes..? I’m sure if L’Oréal was around in Shakespeare’s day, that’d be his first and foremost question… Forget his infamous “to be, or not to be?”.

I went with lips, all the better to kiss you with. I applied Colour Riche… It’s ‘badabing badaboom’. I’m sure everyone who had the privilege of seeing me yesterday would agree.

Step Six:

My favourite. Eyes. My most prized possession are my lashes. I’ve actively thought about getting them insured, then realised that I’m not vain nor completely senile. Emphasis on “completely”. 😂

Not speaking of bae (but speaking of him at the same time), his eyes are like melted Twixes. That deep, creamy droplet shade of brown. PENG!

So, yes, eyelashes. Double. Extension. Extend those lashes to DOUBLE the length.

WOW. My lashes went from there to EVERYWHERE.

They were probably enjoying the scenery in Queensland (Australia) while I was chilling at Buckingham Palace, London.

For those who’ve just joined us, or are not native to the UK, I don’t live in Buckingham Palace. Soz. The Queen does though.

Also, not every citizen of the UK is accustomed to that lifestyle of drinking teas with the Queen and taking her Corgis for a bladder or bowel relief on the grounds.

Step ‘MORNING’:

I dyed every one of my hair strands with L’Oréal Casting Creme Gloss. In keeping with the theme of the last paragraph, one could say that I shine brighter than Rihanna’s diamonds and Rudolph’s nose between the 23-26th of December.

There you go. That’s how I went from Miamii Mansour to Miamii Mansweet, like some Chinese takeaway that you’ve yet to eat from a plate.

Thanks for reading, or attempting to. It’s been fun, for me… I’m not sure if you’ve had fun… Maybe tell the moon and the stars to send me a message, informing me of your thoughts?

Glossybox

I wasn’t going to blog about GLOSSYBOX because I wasn’t a fan of much… However, I’ve since changed my mind because some of them actually that bad. They might be useless for me, but they might be useful for you.

Merci Handy

Let’s start with the hand sanitiser. I need this when travelling on TfL. Trust me, I catch germs like Ash does Pokémon. So, it’s got to stop!

Merci Handy helps to a degree… It’s French, is rose gold in colour and seems pretty good? I’m not a hand gel connoisseur, I haven’t got any idea about how good it actually is…

As far as I know, it has one job, to kill the bacteria but keep it on our hands – until we can get to sink. That’s it. Oh, and it smells like perfumed alcohol.

Merci for reading.

Rodial Glamolash XXL

Yeah, okay, I’m going to say it – I wasn’t expecting much from this mascara…

Aside from the fact I’m very picky when it comes to mascaras, I have worn Rodial before, in the form of a foundation, and it didn’t agree with me.

I’ve got to say that I wasn’t expecting to be blown away by this… I was even reluctant to try it. Boy was I wrong. It’s lovely. Again, I’m not saying it’s the best I’ve ever used, I’m just saying it’s good.

It contains beeswax which helps with the conditioning of our lashes, carnauba wax which evens and fans them out and soluable collagen which works to provide full volume and body to them.

It’s a nice little sample, but I doubt I’ll be buying again…

The wand is nice and thin, just how I like it. I’d say it’s good for long lashed girls like myself, and even better for those with shorter lashes I’d suspect.

The most important thing about mascaras (for me) has to be the deep, dark colour. Rodial’s Glamolash XXL provides just that.

Models Co. Contour Stick

This one felt like I was applying Crayola on my cheekbones. Nah, it isn’t for me… I don’t do drawing on cheekbones, never have and won’t be starting anytime soon.

I’m sure it’s a great little tool for artists (of the makeup variety), but I can’t even draw a wing of eyeliner. I have no hope trying to draw contour.

Sorry, if we were on Family Fortunes you’d be hearing the BUZZER.

Also, while I’m here – GLOSSYBOX, the colour you gave me was horrendous… It was brown, sparkly, and I looked like I’d smeared glittery shit on my face. Nah, soz. I ain’t ’bout that life.

Elgon Deliwash Haircare Cleansing Conditioner Co-Wash

Oh! This one has to be my favourite of all of the Glossybox samples I received! Let’s face it, two out of four were abysmal, and another was a hand sanitiser, so… I mean, come on!

This smells lush, makes my hair feel soft and look shinier.

Mind you, I’ve just dyed my hair with L’Oréal’s Casting Creme Gloss (with Royal Jelly), if my hair gets any shinier, people’ll think it’s Rudolph’s nose a few months late (or early).

Yeah, I’d probably invest in this. It’s a definite maybe.

Again, like everything else in this month’s box, I wasn’t expecting much from this… However, it pleasantly surprised me. Well done, GLOSSYBOX.

SportFX Brow Pencil

I gave this one to my mum. I do not need it, one bit… My eyebrows are thick and black as it is… If I was to use this on top of them, I’d look like the night sky.

Another thing, I have experience of drawing my eyebrows (and lips) in with a pencil, the end result wasn’t pretty…. I looked like what would happen if Ru Paul’s Drag Race and a clown procreated.

My mum might be pleased with it though because her eyebrows aren’t as dark as mine, and she might actually know how to use it professionally. I’ll ask her and get back to you.

Final note: if it’s got Sport in the title, give it to the likes of Usain Bolt or Mo Farah, they’ll put it to good use.

To conclude, the best things about this box was the mascara and the conditioner. The hand sanitiser? Are you serious? You want me to get excited over that? It’s good but come on… Don’t even get me started on that Crayola Glitter shit thing! The brow pencil I’m indifferent on ’cause I never used it (and won’t).

label.m Therapy – Toni & Sacha Mascolo present a luxury haircare range incorporating the exclusive Rejuven-8 ™ Complex. With eight of the most technologically advanced Anti-ageing ingredients and is designed to reverse the visible signs of ageing, leaving hair looking strong, radiant and youthful.

This sulphate-free conditioner will restore, replenish and rejuvenate hair and is designed to quickly transform weak, dull, aged hair into strong, radiant and youthful looking hair.

label.m, sounds like something I should be using, because I have too many Ms in my full name! The letter appears a whopping FIVE times!

label.m’s Therapy Rejuvenating Shampoo & Conditioner is a line that I’ve used previously, when I was blonde. Those were the days when I was a client at Toni & Guy. Not any more…

Toni & Guy are good, but it’s got to be said that two of their technicians ruined my hair. 😭

I loved the first colour technician that worked on it, she made my hair look beautiful. Sadly, she later left and I was assigned two different technicians who took over (at different times) and that’s when my hair went downfollicle (instead of hill).

After my hair became damaged beyond repair, the team suggested a shampoo and conditioner (this one in particular) along with treatments to nourish it. I tried them at the time, and remember that it did help a little – but my hair was dead and gone so…

I’m not saying these didn’t work, because they did. Also, I’m sure your hair is nowhere near as damaged as mine was at the time of using this…

However, I did expect, based on the price that I paid, for it to bring better results. Instead, as I’ve previously mentioned, a cut, the Lisap spray and monthly Olaplex 3 in 1 treatments were my saviours.

Back to label.m’s Therapy… I love the sleek, purple packaging. It’s very eye catching. The colour combo of lavender and silver really works well in my opinion. The smell? Divine. It smells floral and perfume-esque. I absolutely love it for its scent alone.

Best thing about it? It’s sulphate-free, which means it won’t damage your hair. It’s aimed at turning dry, damaged hair to its former glory.

My verdict? It helped me at the time, but as I said it wasn’t what made the ultimate difference.

Having said that, I’m sure if I was to use this now, I’d notice a drastic change in my hair’s thickness, feel, shine and texture. I love label.m and don’t have anything bad to say about it nor Toni & Guy. At the end of the day, it was my decision to go fully platinum blonde (from being raven haired). In hindsight, I shouldn’t have got too aHEAD of myself.