Beauty

As I mentioned briefly before, my love for the botanicals is actually becoming out of control… I don’t know if I’ll wake up tomorrow and find branches where my bones used to be, but for now – know that I smell like tea tree, a bit a lot.

Right, back to Australin BodyCare, not that we were on the subject to start with but, hey, ho! Hi, ho! On with this blog post I go *whistles to the Seven Dwarves*. 🎶

Legit, currently and before currently, I always (never) asked myself if there was some sort of malfunction at my birth… When I consider and ponder this, you’ll all be the firsts to know.

I smell like tea tree. That’s all I really wanted to say… Tea Tree smells somewhat potent. Therefore, I don’t exactly know why I’m writing a whole blog post about it… I mean, it’s nothing to write home (or shout from the rooftops about). In essence, I smell like PG Tips before they became loose leaf tea bags… That’s it.

I bought the body lotion, shower gel and scrub. I’m going to be real with you, it doesn’t help when you smell like other people’s sweat. I don’t know what you heard, but it’s almost impossible to travel on TfL without leaving the tube with every single person who shared that carriage with’s sweat and germs…

It’s like a little disgusting gift that TfL give you for topping up your Oyster and using their sometimes always delayed and/or on-strike service. (Especially if you lead the life I do and have people coughing and/or sneezing in your face at every opportunity they get.)

Join me here tomorrow- same time, same place, where I’ll divulge into the contents of the times I caught TfL flu aplenty.

Again, let’s cast our minds back to what we were discussing before I went on the germ-infested tangent that is TfL… You might need to use more than one body wash, because if you use it on its own, you’ll smell like a BO’d tree. No matter how much I love trees, that – right there is the point where I declare myself “out” – like they do on Dragon’s Den.

Australian BodyCare’s packaging is pretty bog standard. Pretty and bog standard. I love the colour blue, so there you go… It’s blue. It looks like something you’d find in a bathroom… What next?!

Did I like using Australian BodyCare? It’s not the most incredible product I’ve ever applied on my skin but it’s okay… It does the job. I’m just here for smelling like a hot liquified Kew Gardens.

Thanks you, SPICEBEAN! You’re also every damn thing!

Xxx

P.S. I bought seeds to be planted in my garden because I love botanicals so much… Check back here in Spring (or before) to read all about it.

Charcoal powders are everywhere on Instagram… People are endorsing them like I’m drinking water (I drink lots of water). So, I thought it’s high time that I invest (in charcoal tooth powders) and see what all the fuss is about…

Firstly, I’d like to mention that I had a dentist appointment a few weeks ago and that the reason I wasn’t asked to come back (along with my incredibly good hygiene) was because of this (I’m assuming)…

Having said that, you know what happened to the first person to “assume”, right..? They made an ass out of the third party and themselves! Hahahaha. That one gets me every time. I love it. It’s legit my favourite saying… (I also need to get out more, once a day isn’t enough – clearly).

Anyway, back to the powder… I bought it on Amazon. However, it’s since been made unavailable but there are plenty more that you can check out…

  • FOOD GRADE INGREDIENTS: No Harmful Chemicals, No Bleach, No Fluoride, No Artificial Colors, No Preservatives. Excellent for promoting gum health, freshen breath, tartar control, teeth cleaning and whitening.
  • ORGANIC ACTIVATED COCONUT CHARCOAL: Coconut husks-based activated charcoal has the highest adsorption power and the highest effectiveness in removing impurities.
  • SAFE ON SENSITIVE TEETH: Our food grade ingredients are specially formulated to ensure the most sensitive teeth won’t suffer.
  • FRESHENS BREATH: With natural spearmint flavor, to ensure you have the fresh breath the whole day.

I’m going to be honest… I ordered a product that’s picture and brand was different to what I received. I was, in a sense, Mousefished  – a term that I’ve just made up, feel free to use it…

Mousefish – noun – a term to describe the act of ordering something on the internet, but receiving something completely different.

What I thought I’d ordered, what was advertised… Also, not what I received.

Yes, it was not what I ordered… Again, yes – I could’ve returned it but – do you know how long the process is?! I’d have to fill out the form, send it to the post office, pay for delivery – I ain’t got time. Plus, and most importantly, I researched the product to make sure I wasn’t sent something completely unusable and/or damaging to my teeth.

So, like I said, I used Vena Beauty’s mis-represented product (and have been since I bought it). I’ve got to say though that: I love it. Look, I don’t look sexy with a pitch black toothpaste-y mouth and teeth, then again I hardly look sexy without it so…

What I mean is the result (minus some granules getting stuck in between your teeth), is very nice. My teeth looked squeaky clean, my breath and entire mouth felt so fresh, oh – and it gets rid of stains whilst whitening too.

My dentist said my teeth are in great shape and I believe it’s because of this powder mainly…

Cons? The charcoal can stick to the gaps between teeth and stains the tongue a bit. If I was ever asked – which I haven’t been and won’t be – I’ll just say that I’ve been munching on that sweet liquorice bamboo, like the true panda that I am. Again, not that anyone would (ask)…

Notice: I would never and have never left my house with a weird looking tongue/mouth. I might not brush my hair and almost never wear make-up, but I keep my smile clean at all times. Thanks. It’s nice to know where I draw the line…

This post may or may not have added value to your life. I hope it has, but no worries if it hasn’t. Carry on being an absolute LEGEND.

Love,

Miamii

xxx

Aqua waka, hey, hey! Tsamina mina mina eh eh… 🎶 If I was a composer of musical pieces, I’d be BACH. What’s GOOD?!

I mean, let’s face it – you’re not here for a review, are you? No, because no one is here. This post’ll probably get a whopping 0 views. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll just talk to myself ’cause I don’t get that sweet talkback… If you know what I mean (socket to ’em)!

Let’s begin the review of Lush Aqua Marina. I’ve probably already reviewed this, there’s no shortage of Lush product posts on here, so…

Aqua Marina is what would happen if your facial/bodily skin smoked seaweed phantomly “because it got high, ’cause it got high, ’cause it got HIIIIIIIGH! 🎶” – the added bonus is that pink clay/Play Doh consistency formula. Yes, it looks like pâté – but it actually isn’t pâté… It’s terrine. Don’t try it.

I washed my face with Aqua Marina and my face legit looked like I came out of an in actual fact radiant skin inducing whirlpool.

A mineral rich-seaweed and calamine face and body cleanser to absorb excess oils and leave you with a clear complexion. We use kaolin and calamine to absorb oil and cleanse the skin, and aloe vera to restore moisture. Irish Moss gel (a type of seaweed) is full of restorative minerals and vitamins, and we’ve even included a sprinkling of sea salt for very gentle exfoliation.

My rating: it’s guten – not gluten. It’s the Beard of Life.

A few weeks ago, Red Magazine was giving away free full-sized Rodial mascaras worth just under £25… I don’t usually read Red Magazine, but I was thinking of the BARGAIN! So, I picked one up…

I tried it out for the first time a few days ago and have only just got round to writing up a review… This is it. Strap yourselves into your seats. Glue your eyes to your screens and get did.

I’ve reviewed another Rodial product before – in fact, my first post on this blog was Rodial and it’s had the most views of any blog post I’ve ever posted, ever.

Anyway, we’re not here to discuss my previous post, we’re here to talk about Glamolash XXL.

Lengthen, separate and lift eyelashes with this matte, dry formula mascara. With a soft black pigment and short, finely packed bristles, this will give a lengthened natural flutter to eyelashes with long-lasting hold for a wide eyed look.

If you’ve read my blog and are familiar with my existence, you’d know I love mascara more than any other make-up product. I think it’s because I’ve been blessed with long-ish lashes, so I like to just keep them looking good. If I spent as much time looking after my head and eyebrow hair as much as I do my eyelashes, I’d probably look a damn sight better. 😆

Why do I keep going off on tangents?! Must. Stick. To. The. PLAN! Speaking of plans, how does NASA run parties/events? They PLANET. That sentence just then has EVERYTHING to do with Rodial’s Glamolash. I promise*…

*lied

So, Rodial’s mascara Glamolash was free as an incentive from Red Magazine, as I said, and it’s actually the most rubbish mascara I’ve ever used. No offence.

Firstly, the packaging feels beyond belief tacky (and kind of looks it too). Imagine paying £20-something for a “high end” mascara that makes MaxFactor’s “drug store” one look like Beyoncé… Exactly.

Don’t even get me started on the formula… I got it in my eye by accident and almost went blind. Seriously. It’s that bad. My eye started crying those rivers that Justin Timberlake sang about, it wasted about seven kitchen towels, Q-Tips and time applying the rest of my makeup – which then got wiped away.

The result? Clumpy. I looked as though I completed day one on a BTEC Hair & Beauty course and didn’t go back. We all know what might happen on Day One, don’t we? An induction to the course, getting to know each other by name, and discussing our previous make-up faux pas. Exactly, we wouldn’t even had been taught how to apply the damn thing.

If I had to choose one good thing about it, I’d have to say the applicator.

To conclude this post, Rodial’s Glamolash is trash. Don’t waste your money. Thankfully, I paid for the magazine so not all was lost…

 

Bourjois is making another appearance on this blog because – why not? Air Mat is a foundation that does exactly what it sounds like on the packaging: it leaves your face feeling airy fairy and mattifies it.

Bourjois’ Air Mat foundation has been specially developed to give skin a smooth, matte finish that lasts for up to 24 hours. Its non drying, lightweight formula lets skin breathe throughout the day and provides high coverage for a flawless finish.

Enriched with mattifying micronized powders, it elimates shine with no mask effect for an undetectable result.

Do I love it? I would love it a hell of a lot more if I hadn’t picked up the wrong shade…

Hahahahahahaa! Hahahahahah! Hahahahaha! Wait – hahahaha! … Okay, so – do I usually look like a Lebanese polar bear? Yes. But, did I look like I am on a PALE-O skin-tone diet when I tried this foundation? Again, yes.

Other than the wrong shade, I love this foundation. It’s amazing. Like, for real. I wear it and feel like I’ve got nothing on [facially, I wear clothes – obvs.]. It leaves my face looking flawless and even. Yes, that’s right – it’s got a high coverage, similar to Yves Saint Laurent’s Camouflage. You wouldn’t think so though because it’s called “AIR” Mat.

Like all other Boujois products, this one smells incredible. It’s more floral than fruity but still: lush.

Do I know the ingredients? No, I’m not a dermatologist, soz… But, I do know that Bourjois states that it lasts 24 hours. I wore it on my face long for enough to know it lasts 9 hours and is durable. However, I haven’t tested it out for 24 hours.

Mate, I love my blog, but not enough to keep foundation on my face for 24 straight hours knowing full well I have to position myself between a sweat sandwich and breath pie every morning and night (just to get to and from work by train)… I’d have to want post-breakouts, skin-coli or dermatological salmonella, and I don’t. Apologies.

Back to the shade, there are five shades to choose from. I may have bought the wrong one, I know you won’t because you’re not that colour blind and dumb.