Beauty

GHD V Gold

Hello,

If you follow (or stalk) my inundated Twitter feed (sorry for tweeting so much – not a fan? Mute me.), you’ll know that I discovered how to curl my approximately 4cm long (grown a WHOPPING two since I tweeted) hair follicles using a GHD!

I’m rubbish at anything to do with hair styling… This sort of explains the ‘homeless head of hair look’ (6 and a half days per week) that I rock so well…

So, anyway – as if by magic I turned on my GHD and the rest is ‘kinky’ (the hair type) history!

I remember the moment I discovered this talent well… There I was with my 7 tonne knee – which swelled up like Roald Dahl’s GIANT peach – elevated, wanting something to do… I turned the straighteners on and went at it with my hair (after applying heat-protection spray, #PutSomethingOnTheTopOfIt as the Vidal Sassoon version of Jezza would say).

To be honest, there’s no ‘hocus pocus’ behind it… It’s just literally wrapping my (what seems like) couple of strands around the hot iron and hoping for the best… Upon release-tion, I was left with somewhat curlier hair.

Look, I forgot to mention that my hair is naturally curly, but it’s ‘slept in’ curls. You know when you sleep oddly and wake up with crinkles? Yeah, that. #SexyAF. Marry me, now. Or not. It’s up to you…

Back to my hair, I loved using the iron to curl my hair with.  It’s so much easier than a ting-tong for me tbh. Why? Probably because I honestly thought I was ‘clinically’ double jointed… No, seriously! What I mean is, like it’d never show up in tests but I also can’t hold anothing without looking weird (my opinion, everyone else’s shabillot)… Jheeze, I’m sounding more attractive by the second, aren’t I?!

I’m still unsure how 26 years (in Autumn) later, I’ve yet to be snapped up by an ALLIGATOR or a CROC! Let’s not tempt fate though, before I end up in a Steve Irwin (God rest his soul) situ…

Lord only knows how this post has gone from hair styling to a discussion about amphibians, but it is what is (and it is what it ain’t).

Peace out,

Curl on,

Miams!

P.S. if you thought I was going to give you a walkthrough of how to curl your hair using a GHD,  alI can say is: soz! I don’t have your hair length… I’ve only been awarded my own. Therefore, I can’t tell you how easy it is going to be for you.

Then again, you most probably already know, right? This might be old news… I’m a late developer (in everything). So, you’ve probably just come here to read me taking the piss out of myself. Which, tbh – I don’t blame you. <3

What hair straightener do I use? GHD V Gold Marine Allure, it’s so ALLURING that bae still doesn’t want to know.

Louboutin Makeup Application

I think I’ve just discovered my achilles heel of pet hates…

In keeping with the ridiculous, most unhygienic and unsafe beauty hacks/inventions/ideas theme of tonight’s posts, I’d like to remind you of or introduce you to the PLEB who applies her foundation using a Louboutin. I can’t. I just, fully, cannot!

Where you’d ever look at your shoe and decide it’d work amazingly well as a prop to apply your foundation with (ON YOUR FACE), I just don’t know! Yes, she wrapped the bottom in cling film but come on… Bacteria is bacteria; and this is gross.

There’s no denying that ‘SadiaSlayy‘ looks stunning and/or like she has more than one braincell. So, I don’t understand what went wrong here. I really don’t.

Again, yes – her results are ‘floorless‘ but that’s only because those shoes weren’t being used for their SOLE purpose at the time – meaning they’re too far away from the floor…

Sadia, babe, invest in a beauty blender/brush. It’s cheaper, cleaner and gets the same results.

If you’re spending thousands of pounds/dollars on heels to apply your foundation with, you need nothing more than an intervention together with some life coaching.

Want to see how she does it? Watch Sadia apply her makeup with the heel below:

I can’t even believe I’m writing this, but have you ever used your shoes to apply foundation or any other product anywhere on your person? Get in touch. Write to me in the commentation sectionation. I’ll respond and reply to all, because I want to and I can…

Peace, love, light (and shoeless makeup applications)! 👠

Miamii

Xo

LED Lashes

Another post, another crazy cosmetics/beauty tech hack that I cannot get my head around… This time, it’s the turn of LED lashes. Lord, lord, lord, lord… No, not the singer who sings about Royals. The ACTUAL Great Lord! 🙏

Disclaimer: Rudolph had a very shiny nose not eyelashes.

I just don’t know why people can’t just decide that sticking electrics on their face is a no-go. Imagine paying a British Gas bill because you want to make your lashes light up. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?!

Yes, we all like a good rave once in a while but there are other ways going about it! For starters, buy a light up shirt or a glow stick – don’t attach LED lights to your lash-line! Is this not dangerous? Lights should never be that close to the eye, right?

I’m at a loss. Genuinely. I feel like I’m ripping these ideas to shreds today, and that’s not what I want…

I’m all for a glow up, but not when you’re ruining your lashes and potentially eyesight in the process. I just think it’s unsafe, not to mention silly. Sorry, not sorry.

It’s not that they look bad, ’cause they don’t (to someone who likes that sort of thing)… It’s just, they don’t seem safe to me… LEDs are lights which are similar to lasers. Therefore, you don’t need to be an optician to work out it’s dangerous… Of course, it’s not directly being shined into the eye but even so… Still, I don’t like the idea.

Apparently, these LED lashes were trialed in the Bay Area… I don’t think they’re BAE-y at all!

FYI: I’m all for LED shoes, LED bags, LED jewellery etc. but I do think sticking LEDs so close to your eyes is wrong. Come on, your eyes should be enough to light up the room, you don’t need LED lashes! No?

Check it out below. Enjoy.

Also, if you disagree with me about anything on here or just want to say hi, feel free to comment below. Talk to me.

Fidget Spinner Contour

There is an actual homosapien who uses a fidget spinner to apply his contour. No, I’m not joking! If you thought the world had well and truly lost it at boiled egg beauty blenders, there was some of ‘it’ found, apparently.

Look, I’m all for technology and wearable technology, but I do think this is a bit stupendous… Firstly, the fidget spinner spins on surfaces. Surfaces always have germs and bacteria. I may not be the most hygienic person in the world, but I’d never place my makeup brush on a kitchen counter or desk before applying make-up with it. Gross. This fidget spinner has also been touched by other people, I’m assuming? Grosser.

As lovely as James Charles‘ makeup is, I won’t get on board with the: ‘Fidget Spinner used to contour’ thing. Watch his tutorial below:

What are ‘Fidget Spinners’?

Fidget Spinners are cool gadgets that, in my opinion, are becoming overrated.

They were originally created to help children with autism cope with stress, but have since been used widely across the world…

According to reports, the lady who invented them hasn’t received any revenue from the idea because she struggled to afford patenting the idea in the early days (2005), when it wasn’t popular… However,  Catherine Hettinger (the inventor) has since spoken out, saying she’s “pleased about its popularity.

Well, there you go! A bit of factual information about Fidget spinner… That said, I still can’t find the bit where it says “they were designed as beauty tools to help with contour”, can you?

WUNDERKISS

Yes – I know the last post shared on here was about WUNDER2 – but, I mean, it’s called WUNDER2… So, expect TWO posts!

Looking for hydrated lips that are perfectly plumped and pouty? Look no further than WUNDERKISS PROFESSIONAL! You control your level of plump when you activate the product by injecting the Plumping Booster one level at a time (low, medium or high) into the Plumping Gloss to give your lips instant volume and shine. Prep your lips with WUNDERKISS Controlled Lip Plumping Gloss and leave it by itself or dab it off after a few minutes and apply your favorite lip color.

I have to confess that I purchased the WUNDERKISS Professional – Controlled Lip Plumping Gloss and hadn’t a Sam Heck how to use it.

Listen, it’s way too technical for me… It didn’t look it when I was researching it. However, when it arrived, I broke it and used all the solution in one go. Whoops! (Yes, it came with an instruction manual but ‘me no speak English’ is my only excuse, because tbf it didn’t make sense in the way that the English language should).

For those of you who don’t know, the Controlled Lip Plumping Gloss allows you to choose how plump you’d like your lips. So, you can choose between my somewhat flatty patties and Pete Burns/Kim K or Kylie Jenner. The choice is yours…

I don’t understand the packaging… It’s a syringe with solution inside it (apparently)… I didn’t know this. There was a step by step guide of how to use it, yet I still couldn’t figure it out. You know that song ‘Forever Young’? I’m Forever DUMB! As you can imagine, my heavy handed palm/fingers decided it’d be a great idea to rinse the syringe all the way. FAIL. That solution should’ve lasted a month, it didn’t even last a day.

Aside from the sheer stupidity of the packaging, I’ve got to say that the formula itself is so good. It does plump my lips and makes them appear shiny (which is what gloss is supposed to do, guys!) and soft. It evened out the skin on my lips and left my lips pert and plump even after drying. I love it.

The sensations I felt upon application was a cooling of the lips together with a slight tingle. I felt like the nose of Samantha from Bewitched. (My favourite show growing up). If you’re unfamiliar with it, first off – familiarise yourself. Then, then understand that her nose twitches.