Beauty

You knew it was coming! If you’ve got me on Twitter, in which case, God help you and us all… You’ll know that I have been going on about Benefit’s Cheek Parade for a few days now…

I ordered it, it arrived and I unboxed it like Floyd Mayweather, ring size. Wait – did I say “size”?! Whoops! 🙊 I meant “SIDE”! Easy mistake… Am I right?!

So, anyway, back to Cheek Parade… All I can say is you’ll BENEFIT from it, trust me! I mean, it’s no set of DONUT lights, but it’s close!

Cheek parade is a festive, cheeky looking palette that screams “SMEAR ME ACROSS ALL FOUR OF YOUR CHEEKS!” By four, I mean my two and bae’s two. What’s mine is ours and what’s his is, THEIRS – probably.

Now for the serious stuff…  You look three mighties FINE! If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineORANGE (and that’s just the palette)…

Back to bae, usually, he’d cost you £122, but Benefit are selling him for £49.99. You get five product sized blushes, highlighters and bronzers in total and all of them look like “HALLELUJAH!” in the face, structure and skeletal (cheek – and the rest) bones.

Names of the five powders: Rockateaur –  which if you’ve ever woke up with foreign accent syndrome… SAY IT LOUD, SAY IT PROUD! Hoola – which, let’s not beat around 578 mulberry bushes, they’re just legit what HAWAII would look like. Dandillion, which: on other people would look fab… But, on me it’d look washed out and like I just completed a year long expedition in Antarctica; trying to save the MOLAR BEARS.

The Hoola Lite – which looks like if someone shined a TORCH on your facial region – #SEXY … and lastly, Galifornia, which – your best bet is to ask Katy Perry & Snoop Dog/Lion/Goat about that because they sung a song about its girls once. Still, the shades on that one (and the rest) is: 😍.

One thing to note, the palette is refillable [I’m assuming] because the powders are detachable. Did mine love to jump out and caress my floor? Yes, sir/miss! Like powders, like brush… That one (too) was trying out for long jump at every opportunity; which leads us nicely onto the mirror… Mine had more product on it than inside the actual palette.

All in all, it was a good buy. I think it’s a bargain. The colours, the beauty, the price, it’s all a win:win situation. In my opinion, Cheek Parade is well worth investing in, if you’re into blushers/highlighters and bronzers… Urban Decay’s NAKED 3 eyeshadow palette is the cheek equivalent to this… I primrose.

Right, thanks for reading!

If no one’s told you today, you amount to approximately 3 BILLIUN blessings, all of which are ‘hearts for eyes’ emojis (and Godly ones, observationally).

A few weeks ago, Red Magazine was giving away free full-sized Rodial mascaras worth just under £25… I don’t usually read Red Magazine, but I was thinking of the BARGAIN! So, I picked one up…

I tried it out for the first time a few days ago and have only just got round to writing up a review… This is it. Strap yourselves into your seats. Glue your eyes to your screens and get did.

I’ve reviewed another Rodial product before – in fact, my first post on this blog was Rodial and it’s had the most views of any blog post I’ve ever posted, ever.

Anyway, we’re not here to discuss my previous post, we’re here to talk about Glamolash XXL.

Lengthen, separate and lift eyelashes with this matte, dry formula mascara. With a soft black pigment and short, finely packed bristles, this will give a lengthened natural flutter to eyelashes with long-lasting hold for a wide eyed look.

If you’ve read my blog and are familiar with my existence, you’d know I love mascara more than any other make-up product. I think it’s because I’ve been blessed with long-ish lashes, so I like to just keep them looking good. If I spent as much time looking after my head and eyebrow hair as much as I do my eyelashes, I’d probably look a damn sight better. 😆

Why do I keep going off on tangents?! Must. Stick. To. The. PLAN! Speaking of plans, how does NASA run parties/events? They PLANET. That sentence just then has EVERYTHING to do with Rodial’s Glamolash. I promise*…

*lied

So, Rodial’s mascara Glamolash was free as an incentive from Red Magazine, as I said, and it’s actually the most rubbish mascara I’ve ever used. No offence.

Firstly, the packaging feels beyond belief tacky (and kind of looks it too). Imagine paying £20-something for a “high end” mascara that makes MaxFactor’s “drug store” one look like Beyoncé… Exactly.

Don’t even get me started on the formula… I got it in my eye by accident and almost went blind. Seriously. It’s that bad. My eye started crying those rivers that Justin Timberlake sang about, it wasted about seven kitchen towels, Q-Tips and time applying the rest of my makeup – which then got wiped away.

The result? Clumpy. I looked as though I completed day one on a BTEC Hair & Beauty course and didn’t go back. We all know what might happen on Day One, don’t we? An induction to the course, getting to know each other by name, and discussing our previous make-up faux pas. Exactly, we wouldn’t even had been taught how to apply the damn thing.

If I had to choose one good thing about it, I’d have to say the applicator.

To conclude this post, Rodial’s Glamolash is trash. Don’t waste your money. Thankfully, I paid for the magazine so not all was lost…

 

Bourjois is making another appearance on this blog because – why not? Air Mat is a foundation that does exactly what it sounds like on the packaging: it leaves your face feeling airy fairy and mattifies it.

Bourjois’ Air Mat foundation has been specially developed to give skin a smooth, matte finish that lasts for up to 24 hours. Its non drying, lightweight formula lets skin breathe throughout the day and provides high coverage for a flawless finish.

Enriched with mattifying micronized powders, it elimates shine with no mask effect for an undetectable result.

Do I love it? I would love it a hell of a lot more if I hadn’t picked up the wrong shade…

Hahahahahahaa! Hahahahahah! Hahahahaha! Wait – hahahaha! … Okay, so – do I usually look like a Lebanese polar bear? Yes. But, did I look like I am on a PALE-O skin-tone diet when I tried this foundation? Again, yes.

Other than the wrong shade, I love this foundation. It’s amazing. Like, for real. I wear it and feel like I’ve got nothing on [facially, I wear clothes – obvs.]. It leaves my face looking flawless and even. Yes, that’s right – it’s got a high coverage, similar to Yves Saint Laurent’s Camouflage. You wouldn’t think so though because it’s called “AIR” Mat.

Like all other Boujois products, this one smells incredible. It’s more floral than fruity but still: lush.

Do I know the ingredients? No, I’m not a dermatologist, soz… But, I do know that Bourjois states that it lasts 24 hours. I wore it on my face long for enough to know it lasts 9 hours and is durable. However, I haven’t tested it out for 24 hours.

Mate, I love my blog, but not enough to keep foundation on my face for 24 straight hours knowing full well I have to position myself between a sweat sandwich and breath pie every morning and night (just to get to and from work by train)… I’d have to want post-breakouts, skin-coli or dermatological salmonella, and I don’t. Apologies.

Back to the shade, there are five shades to choose from. I may have bought the wrong one, I know you won’t because you’re not that colour blind and dumb.

Here is my favourite award-winning peel-off mask of all time looking all nonchalant (and shizz) in its packaging…

This skin rejuvenating formula loosens blackheads and cleanses deep into the
pores to remove impurities while clarifying and purifying the skin and rebalancing oily areas.

Benefits

  • Detoxifying, targets blackheads and acne
  • Rebalances oily zones and clears impurities
  • Exfoliates dead skin cells, increases hydration
  • Repairs skin damage and brightens complexion
  • Boosting skin firmness
  • Improving skin clarity, tone and elasticity
  • Ready to use, 20 minute treatment
  • No animal ingredients or testing
  • Free of Mineral Oils, Lanolin, Petroleum and Parabens

As much as I’d love to type: “I cannot actually tell you how good it is”, I’m going to have to dig deep because this post ain’t going to write itself…

It’s amazing. Like, for real amazing. This is the first charcoal mask that cools my skin and detoxifies whilst tightening and rejuvenating it. It’s lovely.

I have to admit that I didn’t keep it on for 20 minutes though (as advised)… I washed it off just after 10 mins, but luckily still saw great results.

My skin’s so squeaky clean, bright, more supple and soft. My face feels like a baby’s bottom and a medium rare steak. #RaisingTheStakesSince1991 #Booyakasha #WhatTheHeckAmIOnAbout? #IDontEvenKnow… #GoodLuckFiguringItOut! 😆

The only things I didn’t like about this mask are that it’s messy and pretty hard to open. It comes in a little sachet and when you rip it open, the gel is so sticky and thick that you need to put your hand in to get it out…

Once it’s out, you’ve got to spread it across your face and neck and leave it like you usually would. It’s probably better to use a brush..? More hygienic.

The biggest surprise for me was that it wasn’t hard to wash off and that it didn’t stain my sink. (That’s my only issue with activated charcoal masks. Most of the ones I’ve tried before stick to the surface, this one did not.)

In a black diamond, activated charcoal peel-off masked nutshell, I think this product is great.

Get it on and around your facial crevices. Leave it on for 20 mins. Peel off. Look like a baby. I dare you.

Oh, and, uh… This costs a mere £4.99 which beats getting a facial done in the beauty salon for £37!

I mean, what the HECKory dickory dock?! Man(sour) didn’t go up the clock ’cause I don’t have that stupidity gene which justifies wanting to spend £37 on a facial when I could give myself one for free at home…

Fibrologg

I’m blogging from my phone… So, if this post has an excessive amount of spelling mistakes and the grammar is nonexistent, know that it’s because I’m blogging from my phone!

Without further ado, let’s get cracking with the post… Yes, you’ll be pleased to know that I’ve taken time out from pooping on the bog (caused by chocolate) to discuss shamPOO! To each their own, right?!

Anyway, L’Oréal Fibrology is benefitial for those who suffer from hair thinning and/or those who have fine hair. Although I don’t particularly suffer from either, I just think that my bob needs a bit more volume, something which this gives.

 

A breakthrough in the science of hair, L’Oréal Laboratories have created L’Oreal Elvive Fibrology Thickening Shampoo, proven to give long-lasting thickness wash after wash.Hair looks & feels thicker, with visible body & bounce.

REVOLUTION: FILLOXANE

A patented ingredient proven to penetrate the fibre and expand hair from within

Penetrates deep within the fibre

Expands & increases the diameter of each hair

Remains in the fibre for a long-lasting, cumulative effect.

 

I’ve got to be honest, I’ve tried a lot of shampoos, and plenty of them don’t work well on me. Literally, the only ones that work are the ones I’ve reviewed on here. Label M, Garnier Ultimate Blends and Head & Shoulders are legit the only ones that have worked. But, L’Oréal’s Elvive Fibrology is a game changer. Like monopoly, but not…

Good points: I actually noticed a change in thickness and volume from the first wash. It was incredible. My friends and family noticed the difference, for once – my natural curls looked fuller and as though I’d took time and effort to curl them properly. If you’re a regular to this blog, you’d know that I spend 0 hours. 0 minutes and 0 seconds on hair styling each day. I literally wake up, spray some Lisap and whip my hair back & forth like Willow Smith, and leave. That’s my haircare life.

Bad points: there are none imo.

I was even surprised about how it didn’t grease up my hair quicker. My hair gets greasy pretty quickly (if I use the wrong hair products). I used to wash my hair every three days… However, with Fibrology, I can go a strong five (washing the rest of my body every day, FYI)!

If you know much about hair, you’ll know that it’s bad to wash your hair every day. Apparently, we should wash our hair once or twice a week maximum (depending on our hair type). The rest of the care be done through serums etc.

Famous last words: I agree. Everything in the product description is rightly put. No false advertising there.