Here’s something I don’t always talk about, but I should today…
I went through this. Two years ago. Yeah, I could hide it, and try to pretend it didn’t happen, or I could say that I went through it and came out of the other side.
I suppose I’m now ready to talk about it… I went through it because I had been bullied a lot as a child right through to the age of 17. I guess, I didn’t really know any different until after I moved schools. I suppose, going through it that long, you either get used to it and/or believe that everyone goes through it too…
Then, after leaving my old school and entering a new one, I met someone really abusive, mentally. That wasn’t fun either… I think this is one of the reasons why I don’t usually get into relationships – I mean, I wasn’t dating this guy but he was a complete creep. I literally had to get the police involved.
The reason I’m opening up about this now is because I feel like this can help someone… We all go through stuff. Terrible stuff. It’s the strong ones who are able to come out the other side that are the winners.
For me, although I was at the rockest of all bottoms, my saving grace was that I kept thinking of “tomorrow”. I never told myself I’d do “it” today. I always said “if I’m still feeling like this tomorrow, I’ll do it”. The same went on for as long as it did…
I was a junior youth worker aged 13. When the majority of my peers in Dagenham were getting pregnant, drinking and smoking – I was campaigning against it, running seminars against children doing these things. I’d set up classes, theatre trips to get people off the streets, and did all I could to be a shoulder to cry on for the bullied.
One thing you need to know about me, I was someone who was too strong to comprehend suicide. I understood the weaknesses of people who feel like they can’t go on, but I encouraged their strengths and made them feel like there’s stuff to live for. So, I surprised myself and everyone around me when I went through it…
My lesson is this, whoever you meet – try to be the best version of you that you can be. Honestly, there’s too much mean spiritedness everywhere and it needs to stop. Don’t agree with someone? Fine. Don’t hate on them for it. Don’t like the look of someone? Don’t hate on them for it. Don’t get along with someone? Fine. Don’t hate on them for it. There are ways to go about everything in life, and understanding that some people may be more sensitive about certain things than others is a start.
Be a nice and good human. In fact, don’t even worry about the nice and good bit, just be HUMAN. Love as much as you can and spread as much joy as you can.
I always thought it’s easier to be nice than it is to be horrible… I mean, you have to THINK about the negative things to say to people, right? Like, mean people must put their curses into audition and figure out strongest and most likely to bring someone down… What a waste of a life. Get a hobby.
That is all I wanted to say. To the nice people out there, keep being nice and if you go through stuff, it’s okay. I mean, it shouldn’t be but we’re human. Alas, we live in a society where the idiots are too brave and the legends lack it.