Right, so last time I updated you on my level (or lack of it) of fitness, I was injured and knee-less. Good luck if you had to hear all about it, if you didn’t consider yourself lucky! I resent myself, trust me.

*rant over*

I will be discussing the power plate I purchased from Amazon which has replaced Jim (the venue, ’cause our relationship wasn’t working out) and Miumba (the reason I fudged up my knee in the first place).

So, like one thing I only just found out about myself since writing this blog, I don’t tend to go for products with the shortest and easiest of names, oh no… If you want to buy my Power Plate (but not exactly mine because mine isn’t for sale, this is WordPress not Scphok, FFS!)

Anway, it’s “Upgraded 2017 Bluetooth Crazy Fit Massage Vibration Plate Fitness Machine Lifetime Motor Warranty 2500 Watts Get Fit with this revolutionary piece of gym equipment”. Did I type all that in to find it? Did I heck! 😂

I have absolutely been using this every day since my knee injury healed and “I can’t even tell you how good it is”, except I can and am going to. This is BLOG not a mind-meld like a game of Sims 3. If, like many things on this blog, that comment has flown over your head, don’t worry… Imagine BEING ME! I live inside of myself on the daily basis. It’s fun, honest.

What’s it like (the Power Plate, not my life)? It’s very gradual. So there are five modes, I am well versed in shaking like I’m being throttled by an electric machine which claims to burn calories – so it’s okay, I can handle it.

For less than £150, you get the Plate (I hope or else you’ve been DID!), a DVD, some adjustable arm straps with handles and a piece of paper with all the different positions on there. Oh, and a remote which doesn’t remotely fudging work because it came battery-less. Don’t even get me started! Like, how does that make any sense? Put a remote in, and have them DREAM BEFORE IT ARRIVES that they need to buy a packet of Duracell’s finest AAs before they can work the damn thing!

Also, the modes aren’t easy to suss out. If, like me, you’re an extreme gymnastics person (not measured on whether or not you can run a lap around a bus stop), you’ll want to be standing, squatting and doing whatever else on it when it’s going at its maximum speed. Well, you’re going to have to MANUALLY keep pressing up from 0 to 200, all while shaking like a leaf. Try it, it’s mortifying but GLORIOUS at the same time.

Am I seeing results? I do it in the morning and evening, and have been on a teatox and eating healthy (trying to limit calorie intake) but I noticed a difference, my work trousers are baggier. It was mortifying in Manc, they were almost hanging by my ankles! I had to buy a belt. 😂

Should you invest in one? Yes, it’s a good purchase especially if you’re on the go and don’t have time for the gym.

SIDE NOTE (which is positioned at the bottom of this post): although it shows a bronze/brown Power Plate, the one delivered is Black – but it’s still the same one.