I want to thank inamessyworld.wordpress.com for awarding all of the blogs that they follow (including Beauty Bae) the Real Neat Blog award. Here’s my message to inamessyworld, the world can’t be too messy if you’ve just won a NEAT award. 😉

Anyway, thanks for the nomination and I’ll get cracking with answering your questions as best but probably ‘worst’ – knowing me (knowing you, HAHA 😆🎶)!

Right, first, let’s discuss the discussting rules:

1) tag/link The Nominator, ’cause they’ll “be BACK!” Arnold, is that you?

2) Thank them profusely.

3) Mention these rules.

4) Answer the questions they asked (to the best of your ability).

5) Come up with questions of your own…

6) Keep this chain going by nominating others, linking them into the post.

7) Tell your nominees about the fact that you nominated them, or don’t – ain’t nobody going to tell you what to do!

So, without further ado, much ado about LOTS OF THINGS! Here goes EVERYTHING:

What made you start blogging?

I’d like to say that I wasn’t a complete and utter nerd who knew how to code basic HTML into web servers at the age of 13, but – I can’t… I was. I loved writing, I loved web design and I loved the idea that I can write and people can read it from all over the world. Not much has changed on that front.

What would you change about yourself?

I wouldn’t have these nasalobial creases or lines at the age of 25, FFS! Do you know the length of time I take out of my day to not blog, not eat, not work and not tweet – just do FACIAL YOGA?! I mean, if I wasn’t rendered undatable before, I sure as HECK don’t look datable when I’m massaging/applying acupressure on my own face or suppressing air in my cheeks like a chipmunk.

What are your aspirations?

My aspirations are to meet bae, get married, have a couple of kids, and just live past my life expectancy. Ain’t asking for much, am I? I obviously have career aspirations, like crawl up that ladder like a baby learning to walk for the first time and/or further establishing myself as a journo – but, I’m in control of that. I am my own leader in that. The rest is fate and God’s work.

What has been your biggest struggle?

Real. The struggle is: REAL. Mick taking aside, I’m sure I hvs plenty of struggles, I just really don’t have time to A) list them all or 2) think about them. They are struggles and I’m able to overcome them.

Also, if I’ve yet to take a Mick that you know, leave their details in the comments section. I’ll be holding Mick-Taking auditions in a theatre near you to see who’ll qualify…

If you could choose one celebrity to have dinner with, who would it be?

Hmm, definitely the funniest person to exist… The founder of Klingon Klangton.

Name one thing you fear:

Being a 70 year old virgin. 🙈😂🤣😩 I mean, there’s a film about a 40 year old one but ain’t nobody reached senior level and still not got ‘it’ – other than Nuns, of course! 🙏

Your favourite song?

Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye… Yeah, okay… Calm down! Before you ask, no, I’m not entirely sure what this means… But, I do know that I’m NOT frustrated! I have self-control and standards, thanks. I want ‘The One’ not EVERYONE.

My questions to my nominees:

What do you look for when reading/following other blogs?

Where do you like to be professionally/personally in 5 years time?

Why did you choose to specialise in the subject that you’re currently blogging about?

In what ways does your blog inspire those who read its posts?

What do you think is your best trait?

Would you consider video-blogging (if you don’t do it already)? If you do, list three things you love most about your vlog.

Mention three of your favourite bloggers/vloggers and explain your reasons why they inspire you.

How would you know if you’ve ‘made it’?

* why is Bae such an absolute SPICE?! 😍 Just, leave me here to swoon like a swan at his EVERYTHING. Legitimitisly.

My nominees:

Everyone who reads this and wants to get involved… I’ll probably mention a few of you in a tweet (to nominate you personally) too.

Cup o Coffee

Hello!

Today has been one of those days where I literally couldn’t wait to blog… So, here I am, staying true to my word and blogging!

Let’s have a minute’s LOUDNESS to remember the wonderfulness of LUSH’s Cup O’ Coffee… Yeah, this post is a bit late, but, then again, so’s someone’s period somewhere… Congratulations! 🍼👶 #BabyBoom

Anyway, moving Tay Tay Swift-ly on, below is my honest review of Cup O’ Coffee.

Just around the corner there’s a rainbow in the sky. So let’s have another cup o’ coffee and let’s have another piece o’ pie! If you’re a sucker for the strong, dark, stimulating type, take a shot of this coffee infusion filled mask to the face. Wake up and invigorate the skin with the rich aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Roasted cocoa extract, vetivert and coriander oil combine to create an addictive fragrance. Smooth over face and body, leave for 10-15 minutes and rinse with warm water for your daily fix.

Do you love coffee? If not, umm, you’re currently in the wrong place…

Before we get cracking (like an egg on a pavement), and in keeping with the theme, here’s something I don’t understand: Cappuccino flavoured crisps. Something I might be able to understand, though, is Cup O’ Coffee! It’s apparently a mask (not one of LUSH’s refrigerated fresh ones). However, I’ve been using it as a scrub.

The coffee granules are very, very softening, smoothening and thankfully, un-pore-blockable. I’m only mentioning this because Dark Angels did that, which is why I resorted to using it as makeshift toothpaste. Having said that, if you, like me, love using Dark Angels on your skin but are finding that the black sugar/charcoal granules are getting stuck in your pores, washing with lukewarm-mildly hot water melts them away. #TopTip

What does the formula look like? Uh, it depends whether you’ll request to take me on Jeremy Kyle for a lie-detector afterwards…

If an appearance on Jezza is beneath you, it looks LOVELY! Extremely good. If, on the other hand, you’d love a trip to Media City to meet the man himself, Graeme & Security Steve, I have no option but to be honest and say: it looks like a gloopy crushed coffee bean poopy!

What does it smell like? Pandas (after they’ve eaten the finest of bamboo)… 🤣 Coffee, of course!

Look, it doesn’t take much to please me… Upon first application, I fell in love with its smell, before realising that it’s just coffee and that I should be getting out more (taking my nose with me as I leave).

‘No manure Sherlock’ when I tell you that coffee smells like coffee and that it’s by no means anywhere as good as what bae’s aftershave/cologne would smell like.

What does it feel like? As though crushed coffee beans are being lathered upon every crevice of your facial exterior… It’s scrubby and lovely on the skin, during and post-wash.

One thing to mention: it tastes slightly weird though, not that I actively went out to taste it… It’s just, it was smeared on my face, ended up on my lips and my tongue touched the formula (purposefully by accident). Basically, if I had to describe it, I’d say it tastes like coffee mixed in with something else. A weird ‘something else’.

How to use it: wash your face, apply a generous layer of the product on it then scrub/leave on skin for 10/15 mins, before rinsing it off.

Be aware that you’ll look like you’ve smeared undigested coffee poop on your face or regurgitated tiramisu, either or… Both as attractive as each other (if that’s your sort of thing).

Final say: YES. If LUSH was proposing to me through this product, I’d be giving them a resounding YE!  I literally can’t believe that I didn’t discover this earlier…

Ingredients: probably a CUP O’ COFFEE, but don’t quote me on it.

Bourjois Healthy Mix Concealer

I’m someone who never thought I’d need concealer, regardless of how many eye bags I had residing in my under-eyes.

It’s not that I thought it was a good look, just I didn’t understand the need of concealing nature’s indecency. If my eye-bags are chilling under my eye sockets, it’d be wrong of me to conceal them and pretend they don’t exist.

I’m the same with spots… To be honest, it’s just that I don’t want to give a false representation of myself. I am not airbrushed; I’m just me – eye-bags and spots included! Having said that, I did used to highlight my under-eye area as though to draw further attention to them (unintentionally).

Do you know that triangle method bloggers use to make-up artist-fy their face? Yeah, I was doing that even with my eye-bags present (without concealer), thinking it’s “just something make up artists do”, not realising that it’d bring MORE attention to them! I honestly didn’t realise that until I started writing this post… 😂

I’m an actual lost cause, FFS.

I don’t want to go too off topic, so let’s discuss Bourjois’ Healthy Mix concealer… I came across this small but might product in Superdrug and I remember thinking: “hold on a second!” The rest is ‘his-story’…

(if this post does anything at all, it’ll prove to us all that size doesn’t matter)

Bourjois’ Healthy Mix correcting concealer smooths away dark circles and hides all imperfections for a visibly rested and radiant look.

Vitamin enriched for a healthy glow its exquisite glide-on formula blends onto the skin for a natural result.

This concealer is absolutely everything.! It is my go-to this Summer, but I know I’ll use it all year round.

Usually, I’d wear L’Oréal’s BB cream and powder. However, with this, I don’t need to… I just apply this on my chin, under-eyes, bridge of my nose and Cupid’s bow followed by a blending and blotting session with powder. Then, I’d go on as normal, applying my Bourjois highlighter and contour. That’s literally it. It’s so lightweight, but the coverage and result is so good. My skin looks like it’s been kissed by the Complexion Gods.

One thing to note: Bourjois’ concealer comes in three shades – 1, 2 and 3. If you hadn’t realised my ancestral links to Einstein before this post, know that they are THERE! Light, Medium and Dark are their names, I’d imagine (the concealer, not Einstein’s relatives)…

The packaging is ADORABLE! Look, I do think they are stingy with the amount of product they give us. But, I don’t want to complain because a little goes a long way! Also, Superdrug’s offering 3 for 2 on Bourjois, so you can get three bottles for the price of two #bargain #result #winning.

The scent of it is a little similar to the foundation: fruity. However, there is a bit of that chemical foundation-y smell which lingers on the nostrildamus…

The coverage: medium but buildable. When set with powder, it looks as though Anthony Joshua K’Od your face (without the bruising and dislocation of bone structures). What I mean is, you’ll look KNOCK OUT!

The price: drugstore-esque. For the results you get, it’s very affordable and worthy.

Would I recommend it? If you’re still wondering whether I would at this point, you need a revelation…

#WorldGiraffeDay

Hello!

Guess what today is?! Wednesday the 21st of June, the first day of Summer, and the longest one of the year… It’s also the hottest June day that England has experienced in 40-something years! Oh, and the day I found out that there are some great hosts that exist… That’s not all though, it’s #NationalWritingDay and #WorldGiraffeDay no less!

So, I have decided to write a piece on giraffes, and how much I love them. Look, if you’re looking for inspiration – I don’t think you’re going to get much of it reading this post… I mean, the best case scenario is that I end up persuading you that giraffes are the best species of animals to exist. Other than that, you’re better off reading encyclopaedias.

Why do I love giraffes? 

I don’t actually know… One thing I do know is that it’s NOT for the fact that they drink each other’s urine. That, I do know… Apparently, though, the reason they do this is because they’re testing (or tasting) their S/O mating skills. Who knew you could find this out from giraffe wee?!

Imagine my disgust when I was singing their praises to my best friend of almost 20 years (after persuading her to accompany me to the zoo) and we trailed round the whole of ZSL London Zoo to find two licking each other’s bodily fluids. #MORTIFIED!

On a serious, less ‘turn me off food for life’ note, I love giraffes because they’re majestic looking. They’re tall, towering above the rest and literally come across as the most peaceful mammals. According to research, giraffes were thought to be a camel and leopard hybrid in the early days of discovery.

Also, don’t forget their beautiful prints and patterned mosaic-esque bodies. Did you know that each giraffe’s markings are as unique as a human’s finger print? WOW.

Another reason to love them is because I too have a someone high neck, I mean – it’s not like those ladies who used to tie wires around theirs to lengthen them (😱) – just, a normal, humanly high length!

I want to go on a Safari one day, that’d be cool. Just, inside. Staying inside of a car, with windows closed. Some of you may be thinking: ‘if you don’t want to go outside of the car nor open the windows, then why don’t you just watch the video online?’ The simple answer is: “if you don’t want to read what I got to say, why don’t you just ‘x’-it?” Also, there’s the small fact that tigers, lions and cheetahs are going to be around the giraffes when I decide to venture to a Safari (re-enacting the ‘Circle of Life’). So, that said, I value my life and want to see past the safari. Therefore, safety first. Thanks!

More Facts about giraffes:

They’re my favourite animals.

I love them.

They’re the tallest animals.

Their diet consists of leaves and twigs. Therefore, you can’t leave a Willow lying around…

A giraffe in New York had her last trimester (pre-labour) LIVE streamed on Facebook, it dragged on but she eventually gave birth to a calf in April, co-incidentally, her name was APRIL! Would you look at that?!

Don’t mean to go on about it a lot but giraffes drink each others’ urine. (Imagine if this was all that I talked about on this post?! #UrineForATreat FFS!)

^ these above facts were common-sensical ones. I did not use Wikipedia or some kind of website like Giraffe Annonymous [dot] com for my findings.

Jheeze, 500 or so words into this post and you have learned nothing… Reading this post has not grown you in any way, nor has it paid your bills. For that, I apologise.

Then again, at least you know what my favourite animal is. It’ll be cool to know what yours is…  Jot it down below!

#heatwaveUK

We are in the middle of a glorious heatwave! If you know Wiley, you’d also know that he’d be very impressed… However, I wish I could say the same for some of you (who aren’t). Having said that, I can see why, because England doesn’t get much (if any) sunshine. Also, it doesn’t help that the heat we’re accustomed to is sticky, humid and muggy.

So, this post is targeted at those of you who are not fans of this weather and are looking for ways to keep cool. Below, you will find lists of things to do, wear and eat which’ll help to some extent.

Disclaimer: I cannot say that the majority of these tips aren’t common-sense related. Then again, at least I have some…

  1. Invest in a fan or air conditioner and switch it on (that’d be a start, wouldn’t it?)…
  2. Stay hydrated by drinking water or plenty of cold beverages.
  3. Purchase some cooling spray and apply it whenever or wherever you are, I choose MagiCool. Alternatively, a spray toner from LUSH works just as well.
  4. Stay in shady areas when in parks (under the tree is best).
  5. Spend your entire Summer in Waitrose or Iceland as the big branches have AirCon inside. 😉 If that’s not your thing, stick to hanging out inside the freezers of the frozen food aisles… 😆
  6. Go on holiday to the North Pole. (Bit farfetched but then again, YOLO!)
  7. Close your blinds/curtains to avoid the heat of the sun from warming up your room.
  8. Open a window or a door… LOL, top tip, that!
  9. Make Jell-O and freeze them, followed by an ‘eat them’ session.
  10. Consume plenty of ice cream/ice lollies.
  11. Refrigerate everything – your veg, your chocolates, your fruits.
  12. Eat salads, sandwiches or sushi and avoid hot food. You could even try Gazpacho for starters and yogurts and trifles for dessert.

Things to wear in Summer:

  1. Tops and shorts (obvs) or soft cotton tops etc. Wearing loose fitted clothes stops them from sticking to your body when you’re out & about.
  2. Avoid wearing black (even though it is the best colour of clothing) because it attracts the sun.
  3. Sunscreen. Vital. Don’t leave your abode without it… Apply, apply, apply – keeping applying and reapplying.
  4. Sunglasses to protect your eye sockets and balls (slightly graphic and anatomical with my choice of terminology but there you go).
  5. Umbrellas. Believe it or not, umbrellas were used to shelter people from the sun before they were used to shield us from the rain…
  6. BB creams and soft moisturises instead of thick ones and full makeup. It’s inevitable that we will sweat – so nobody wants blocked pores and melting makeup. Stay moisturised or risk skin chapping/chafing and whatnot…

Miscellaneous things:

  1. Shower. I mean, it doesn’t take much does it? Water + your body + some shower gel = hygiene and keeping the people around you happy (and their nasal passages & sense of smell in tact). Lovely.
  2. Don’t complain. I don’t know if you know this but we do not have the luxury of round the clock and all year round sunshine.,, Yes, it’s hot but it won’t last so – don’t complain. Relish in it and embrace it!
  3. Go out to outdoor pools, the beach, BBQs… Honestly, life is too short. Do fun stuff, go out to funfairs, theme parks, town shows, festivals etc.
  4. Take regular breaks at work (when possible) to enjoy the sunshine.
  5. It doesn’t matter how, but just – get some of that Vitamin D. The right amount of it and when done safely (using sun protection), it can prove very beneficial for your mood, your skin, your hair and overall health and wellbeing.

Have I missed anything? I’m sure I have, so get in touch via the solar panelled comments section on my page and we’ll make some photosynthesis worthy communication.