Be patient. You will arrive at your destination at the time you’re meant to – embrace the detours and don’t be disheartened if life takes you off the beaten track, you’ll always get back to where you need to be.
You might look around at your friends’ lives and compare theirs with how much you’ve accomplished… But, the reality is this: they’re doing the same with yours.
We arrive at different times to different stages in our lives.
For instance, I have yet to find my life partner. I have not begun my journey to building a future with someone who will later become my spouse and father to my children… Reason? I am waiting on God to bring him to me. I am faithful and understand that everything in God’s time works out for the best. Our best.
I don’t look at my friends and think “why not me???” I look at them in awe, and think ‘I look forward to having that one day’.
After seeing most of my friends were getting engaged, married and pregnant, it got me thinking about it… (Also, I’m 28 and have been all the 20-years’+ before it… Girls obsess about these kind of things, Idk!)
But, I was lucky in that I had other stuff going on, so it really didn’t matter. I was doing what I love in the meantime, and still am. Also, there’s the small fact that I was (still am) reserving myself for the greatest person for me. One that’s handpicked and custom-made for me.
If I’m being honest, my problem was that I used to think if I “helped” God along, it’d bring my Boaz sooner… Umm, nope!
God wrote our lives while we were still in the womb. No amount of “helping along” will bring our desires sooner (relationships, friendships, careers etc). All we can do is work on ourselves, to become the best version of ourselves before we reach our destination.
I laugh and joke about it, but I really want to be at my most confident, happy and reach my spiritual best before I meet my life partner. Relationships of any kind are just an advancement or enhancement to an already perfect life. It is not an ‘abracadabra’ movement that fixes everything, but an accompaniment. It’s basically: “I have this ready-made life that I’ve been working on – and you have yours – how about we share them?.”
Not going to lie, I used to think I knew who it was going to be, but as time goes on, I’m realising I honestly do not. I know who I hoped it would be, but I also know that God’s will be done, and that’s what will be done. I am ready for whatever outcome. Looking at both options as a win:win situation helps…
Nowadays, I’m so grateful to be in a new headspace where I am focusing my attentions on other things that bring me absolute joy and fulfilment. I’m doing just fine. I am living my life, my way. The last piece of my puzzle will come when it’s destined to.
To be frank, I’m extremely thankful that I didn’t meet my Boaz earlier, because had I met them at a time when I wasn’t ready, it would’ve ended in divorce/a major breakup.
Admittedly, I was a cuckoo, and a somewhat-toxic (in some areas of my life) mess of a human with more emotional flaws than I let on.
I often get asked “what’s changed?” The answer is prayer and wisdom (teeth), I guess? I’d like to think it’s an age thing too – as I’ve always longed to get older, because I’m an old soul with lots of maternal qualities.
I don’t want to bible-bash, but when you’ve witnessed actual miracles happen to you – by God alone – it’s hard to sit back and keep your mouth shut. I’m one of those people.
To summarise, there finally came a time in my life where I am no longer stubborn, am no longer impatient, am no longer needy (of attention) – I freely admit to being these ways previously. If we don’t own up to our wrong-doings, we won’t grow, right?
If that miraculous transformation can happen to me, it will happen to anyone. Just believe and be mindful of the transformation, relish in it.
Now? I’m at home in myself more-so than ever before. I’m content with my own company (until the time is right to meet my spouse, when I’ll be sharing it with them). I know that when I meet them, I’ll know instantly/instinctively and it would be God’s doing. It will be eternal. It will be Holy. It will be blessed.
Fifth rule of ‘Life Club’? There is always more than four rules! Actual rule? Wait. It gets better. What’s yours won’t be anyone else’s.